Monologue Mania: April 2017

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1172 The Show Might Go On by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 30, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1150!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 1172 The Show Might Go On by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 30, 2017

The Show Might Go On

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(The actress is haughty - and annoyed, a daunting combination)

Oh, you think I'm...upset. What gave you that clue, dear? This play has sucked all the joy out of the theater for me, and, to be polite, you have been the main sucker!

(Listens)

You must be joking! Work with YOU again! I'd sooner walk barefoot through the molten tacks of Hades than work with you again!

Need I remind you that you were late EVERY TIME for rehearsal.

You made everyone wait while you found your script, and your pencil and your notes and while you looked for everything you lost, we lost our minds waiting for you!

Then, after everything is set, and you FINALLY memorize your lines and we are two days from opening, you go and break up with your crazy boyfriend! And you lock yourself in the bathroom and threaten to not commit suicide, oh, that would have been helpful, but you were going to stay locked in until the boyfriend comes back to you! A difficult feat because he has not only left town, but did it with the understudy!

You have made this play that I was looking forward to, this work of the Bard that is my favorite, into a horror! And you have the nerve to ask if I wanted to work with you again!

(Listens)

What? (Listens) How much?

(Smiles)

When do we start rehearsals? Oh, my dear, I am so glad we are friends.....I just love working with you...

(Exits to another theater success story)

----------------------------------------------

* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1171 Curtains Speech by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 29, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1150!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 1171 Curtains Speech by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 29, 2017

Curtains Speech

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(The director/stage manager comes out, looks at the cast and crew and shakes head)

Alla you complainers and moaners, alla you who are so worried and nervous about whether the set will be ready or the costumes shrank when they were washed or if the lead with the sore throat will be well enough to sing - here's my final note to you - who cares?

Ya heard me - who gives a shit? I mean, if all these horrible things happen, so what? The lighting doesn't work and the audience thinks the play is over and claps too soon - so, more clapping is good! Ooh, something crashes backstage and makes a big noise! The audience will think it's part of the show! Or, and this actually happened one time.....the leading lady drinks too much and walks out naked on stage! What a story!

(Shudders a bit)

With this leading lady, maybe a horror story, but hey, you'll never forget it!

Because my fearless theater friends, this is the theater, and the show will go on! No matter what!

(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Because no matter what happens here tonight.....it's better than worrying if the flowers will be late.... for a funeral.....

(Tips hat and exits. Curtain up!)

----------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, April 28, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1170 For A Good Time....Call by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 28 , 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1150!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 1170 For A Good Time....Call by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 28 , 2017

For A Good Time.... Call

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(The woman enters with a cell phone)

Good talking to you, too.......is it 40 years? No.....43, well that's better!

When I was...younger....I used to go to dances. I don't know if young people go to dances any more, but I did. And I had fun, and met a lot of nice young men.

And I would give out my phone number - because in those days, that was what you did.

So I would get phone calls from these young men, and of course, I could not remember who they were. Now because I got these calls, and made many friends, I did not really notice that I was getting more calls than usual, and the calls were a bit....how can put it, different?

Whereas young men who met me at dances would remind me of how we'd met, but now, when some called, the meeting point was vague. What I looked like was more important, somehow, and this was annoying. Did they get so many phone numbers they forgot which girls went with which phone numbers?

Then a guy called, and was very evasive, and I decided to be blunt. 'Where did we meet?' He hemmed and hawed and said we hadn't met in person. So where had he gotten my number? From a friend? Not exactly. What does that mean? I finally got it out of him in a question that was meant as a joke. Was it on a bathroom wall? Well, yes.

I was stunned. What did that mean? I mean, I know what it meant, but who would do that? I thought I was a bit more discrete, had better taste than to choose dates who would do that! Maybe I was wrong.....with a few more questions, I squeezed out the location - a place I frequented with friends, a place by the water, with boats to rent, and a nice restaurant, and public toilets!

Even though I was tempted to meet this one, my friends convinced me to avoid any guy who would meet a girl through a bathroom door. (I have always wondered if they were right, considering who they all ended up marrying)

But I went to the bathroom with one of my friends - she watched while I snuck into the men's room and.....found the notice! On a prominent wall, no less - and since the whole thing was carved into the wood, I took a pen and I changed the name and phone number - sorry whoever got called next!

The calls stopped instantly - and after a few days, I wondered if I missed them. Another friend suggested I could always go back and put my name up again.

Such good friends! Like you, dear, you were with me that day in the bathroom. It was years before I realized something - when I first went in to look for my name, I couldn't find it. You were the one who suggested I look by the toilet paper roll. How would you have known that? Unless, of course, you put it there.

(Listens)

How long have I known?

Does it matter? We call each other every day now, still friends after all these years, so.....I guess you can still say.....for a good time....call me.

(Exits. End of scene)

----------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1169 What If? by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 27 , 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1150!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 1169 What If? by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 27 , 2017

What If....

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Actor enters, looks around, smiling)

Anyone want to play a game? I'm not talking about Monopoly or Scrabble or Words With Friends or Game of Thrones.....I'm talking about the endlessly fascinating game that requires absolutely no boards, no paper, no electronics whatsoever! But it is a game that I guarantee everyone here has played - and you all know the rules......the universally loved and hated game of....drumroll please.....
the game of ....WHAT IF?

That's right, you heard me.....and you know just what game I mean....the game where no one can win......because as soon as you play.....you lose.....

What if.......you were richer....or taller.....or thinner......or had more hair....or less hair......

What if......you had better parents......a bigger car......a more fulfilling job....

What if .....your children were perfect for real, not just in your head!

What if.....and this is my favorite one.....what if.....this were.....the last day of your life.......would you go to work? Would you go to visit friends and family? Would you eat anything you wanted? Would you .....pray?

(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Why my favorite? Because......if it was the last day of your life......would you be playing this stupid game?

(What if....the actor exits now?)

----------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1168 The Fallen by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 26, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1150!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 1168 The Fallen by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 26, 2017

The Fallen

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(An older gentleman comes onstage, he is waving at the crowd, then he trips and falls - a very big fall, and he gets up quickly.)

I'm all right! Don't worry! No problems! I'll call my attorney later! Seriously, this chance to talk to everyone on the Senior Channel is wonderful.....and I won't sue! That's a promise!

I'm here to talk about something everyone is afraid of, getting cheated. Scams. People who are out to put one over on you. How do I know so much? Because I am one of those people!

People always ask what I do, and I tell them the truth - I'm in the insurance business.

That usually finishes all questions! But most think I work for a company - that's not accurate - turns out, the company works for me.

No, I don't own a company......but they do pay me. In fact, many of them have paid me...off.

That's right, I am.....a faller. One of the fallen few.....I make my living by....falling.

And it's a family tradition, too, my mother taught me everything I know.

After my father left, things were pretty tough. It was just before World War II, and I was only six, and I knew things had gotten.....let's say, difficult for my mother.

I heard her talking to a man about an insurance policy, and there was something in the tone of her voice I didn't like at all.

So I decided that, instead of playing with my friends, I was gonna keep an eye on her. I would follow her around, and now I know what she was doing - scouting it out. The perfect time to step in front of a car or bus. She studied the lights.....I saw her practicing stepping off just as the red went to green...it was very scary.....and then one day, she told me if anything happened to her, I was to go stay with Uncle Barry and Aunt Sylvia.......and I didn't even know who they were!

So the big day dawned, and my mother hugged me extra hard when she left to go 'look for work' was the way she put it. 'have fun, and don't play in the street.'

I hugged her back and told her I wouldn't play in the street - which for that day was the truth.

She left, looking at me in a very strange way, and after the door closed I raced to follow her like a spy in one of the movies I would sneak into.

She walked over to one of the busiest streets, and she waited, and I waited. Then I saw it, a bus. A city bus. Big and scary, and she watched the lights and I watched her.....just as the bus approached, the light changed to red for the bus....and green for my mother!

She stepped off right in the path of the bus..... and I ran towards her, screaming.....

(He runs, yelling waving wildly)

Momma, momma, watch out!

(He stops, horrified)

She heard and....she turned to look at me......

(Throws up his hands)

Momma!

(Breathing hard)

And when she turned, the bus hit her......but just knocked her to the curb! She was bleeding and battered and people ran to help and the bus driver was really upset and it was the most frightening moment in my entire life up to that point!

(He sits down, as if on a curb)

And she was.....hurt, but still alive. Two broken ribs, all her clothing ruined...... And ....the insurance company for the bus paid us $25,000, which, in those days, was a lot of money.

More money than the life insurance policy. Y'see- you can only die once, but you can fall a million times!

So a family dynasty was born.......when that money ran out in a few years, my mother had another accident, this time in Macy's......and that money got me through college......where I studied anatomy, and took gymnastics, so I learned how to fall, and that got me out of the military, and my first car.

As I got better at falling, I was able to really do some damage.....to the insurance companies.

But then....I really fell. Not on cement....but in love.....and that was a costly fall!

It was amazing, and I still remember how good that felt......and we were married for 32 years, and she never suspected that I was one of the fallen, because she thought I was just clumsy!

(He smiles at this)

Clumsy. A faller has to be very agile, and look very clumsy. Unlucky. But you have to choose where you do this, do the research. Big grocery stores that have water spilled on a slippery floor, I see that kind of like a big open bank! With a sign that says - 'come on in!'

(Starts to rub his arm)

But of course, there is a price....a very physical price.....even though I practiced, there were times I truly did hurt myself. My left knee, this elbow....ribs and coccyx.... twice My back is in constant pain, and due to all the falls, I have trouble standing up straight.

I didn't mind, because my family had it good.....it was worth it...

(He shakes his head, takes a deep sigh)

Here's the tough thing about falling....in love. There is just no insurance that will cover...... the pain of losing someone you care about, especially if that someone....is your baby.

Want to hear the funny part? The baby, my oldest, my precious baby, was not insured against polio. Most people didn't die from polio, but my first born did - one of the last deaths in this country.

So we collected nothing .....except sympathy.

Go ahead, judge me. But you should also ask - why is this guy telling me this? Here's why - I am telling you all this so that you will know about people who might fall on your doorstep, or come to paint your house - and the ladder tips over....like it has at five other houses for these guys.......if someone falls and you have to pay, do a little digging, it's worth having an attorney check it out.....before the fallen are YOUR downfall!

(He turns to go, looks back)

And also, because.....I love the winter, spring and summer.... but I'm just too old for...the fall!

(He walks off, almost falls again, gets up smiling, dusts himself off. The end.)

---------------------------------------------

First posted - Monologue Mania Day # 180 by Janet S. Tiger The Fallen Aug.11, 2014

---------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Monologue Mania Day # 1167 DreamRecorder.com by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 25, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1150!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 1167 DreamRecorder.com by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 25, 2017

(Voice heard - 'Now for our next commercial!' - and we see the actor enter)

Listen folks, or should I say, WATCH!

Can't remember your dreams? Wish you could see them again, especially the one with that cute.....well, you know which dream.....At DreamRecorder.com we have the solution!

Using the latest in up-to-date state of the art technology we can have this dreamrecorder inserted into your brain - using only a mild topical anesthetic ! Then your dreams are recorded in our studio, enhanced with music and special effects, then posted online for you - and the world to see!

Check out our website now for some amazing nighttime stories - fantasies - wild stuff and wonderful movies even - you never know what you're going to see, because you never know what you're going to dream!

For more information, go to our website - or call the number on the screen - and remember - sweet dreams!

(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Or not sweet dreams, we don't care - just dream and we share!

(And now, for our next commercial....)

-------------------------------

This monologue is only half-fiction - read more here
http://www.mnn.com/green-tech/research-innovations/stories/scientists-learn-how-to-record-your-dreams-and-play-them

---------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8