Friday, March 31, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1143 Borrowed by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 31, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day #1143 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 31, 2017                             
                                           A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2014

        (The man who comes out is neither tall nor short, fat nor thin, in fact he is utterly ordinary in every way except that he is very tentative.)

Yes, that's me.  So glad you could come.  I really don't like those sites but I find them very helpful.  Would you like something to drink?  Coffee?  Tea?  Perhaps a scone?

All right, if you'd rather just talk before we sit down, that's fine.

Why?  Why do this?  I thought it was clear in those match-up interviews.  I like to talk to people while drinking coffee, or tea.

Me?  Oh, I was an accountant.  Until I retired.  They made me.  I didn't mind doing the same thing every year.  I liked it.  But, the company was sold, and I had a high salary, so they got a young person from college......half the salary.  I got good severance, and medical, my investments have done well.  No, I never married.  Never saw a reason to do that.

All my social life was at work.  The first few years, people tried to fix me up with girls, then they stopped.  After that, a few people tried to fix me up with boys.  But I never understood that either.  I guess, I just don't understand that part of life too well.

But I never missed it.  Work had people to talk to about all the daily issues people like to discuss.  I never encouraged close friendships because they seemed to get personal.  Like having to go to children's plays and ball games and then weddings.....and then funerals.   I didn't see the need.

One woman, she was married, but she always tried to include me.  She would call and ask me for dinner or to go to the beach with her family, things like that.  I would just say 'no'....I thought she would stop, but year in, year out, I was included.  Even though I never went.

Then she retired, and then they made me retire.  And I met her here at this coffee shop, and then, she moved away. and, I found, surprisingly enough, that, perhaps I missed her.  So, I have put in these ads to find new people to sit with and have coffee.

Would you like some coffee now?  We can discuss all the things you want to, politics, the weather, your family, why you hate your family, many people like to talk about these things.  I'm happy to pay for the coffee.    I used to think of it as ...I don't know....renting friends.  But someone pointed out that had a slightly illegal tone, so now I just say, I'm borrowing a friend.  But we're not friends, not really, so maybe it's better to say, I'm borrowing your time........For a few minutes, until you don't want to anymore.....

            (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

That's why I always leave in my ad......

            (Exits to a new friend, more coffee on borrowed time)


Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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