Monday, March 20, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1132 Not My Audition by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 20, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day #1132 Not My Audition by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 20, 2017      

                                                  Not My Audition
                                                a monologue   by 
                                               by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved (c) 2017

        (The young woman is nervous as she comes forward, not knowing where to stand.)

Here?  Is there where you want me?

        (Someone barks at her and she jumps to one side)

All right!   Is this better?

        (She breathes a sigh of relief, then listens)

Something about myself?  That's unusual, I've never had to tell anything about...

        (The voice yells at her again and she jumps again)

All right, all right!  I...I'm from a small town in Indiana, and I went to college in have my email and postal letter with all my qualifications.....

        (She jumps again)

Ok, I am 26, never been married...(listens, surprised)  no, I don't have a boyfriend, but I think that's a little personal, don't you?

        (Listens, is shocked)

If you put it that way, I suppose what we are about to do could be referred to as...intimate....but, that's not the way it's described .......

        (Listens, is puzzled)

What?  My memorized piece?  My monologue?  I don't have a monologue....

       (The barking voice now becomes violent, yelling and she is horrified, as if being blown by a big wind)

I never heard that I needed a monologue for this.....I mean, this is highly irregular....

       (She is shaking and then, the barking has stopped and she stands up straighter)

Are you finished?


No, I am not to audition for your show.....

       (Listens and smiles)

No, I tried to explain, but you didn't want to listen.  I'm Stephanie Wilkins, and I'm from the IRS, the (very slowly) Internal Revenue Service.....

       (She smiles very sweetly)

And yes, that was the letter you received....and yes, originally, this visit was only scheduled for a few hours....but now.....

       (She turns to go, stops, looks around)

Is there somewhere quiet around here?  Without you screaming?  I need to go make a few phone make sure I can be here.....well, you can expect me to be here for a long time....(thinks)  maybe this wasn't MY audition, but please, feel free to think of it as your audit!

       (She leaves, smiling, end of scene)
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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