Sunday, March 26, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1138 Coping Skills by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 26, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day #1138 Coping Skills by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 26, 2017                              
                                                   Coping Skills
                                           A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2014

            (Actress is very precise, every hair in place, outfit perfect, make-up, you get the idea - perfect.  She blinks a little too much, but otherwise seems normal....kind of...)

I'm not sure I understand the problem.  I mean, I have always been a very neat and orderly person.  My mother taught me that, when I was little.    

She was always neat, and so am I!  You can see that in my house....

           (She indicates by waving her arm)

Nothing out of place.  Everything EXACTLY where it belongs!  No clutter, no garbage, no dust, no....MESS!

Now Marsha, she was always....a mess.  She lived next door, we grew up....neighbors.  Her mother was messy, some might say a hoarder.....well, many said that.  Marsha would come over and mess up my toys, which were always neat.

        (She starts to breathe heavily and then listens)

Oh, no, it doesn't bother me at all!  No, she was messy all over, not just at my house.....She was even messy in the sand box at the park!  She would take water and make mud and then from the mud she would make these ...these THINGS!  Everyone said they were sculptures, but when she left, I would knock them down and cover them with sand so it would be neat!  I couldn't let her make a mess in public!  You asked about my coping skills, well, neatness is my coping skill!  I find that keeping things neat IS coping!

          (Shakes her head)
Of course, not everyone understands the value of neatness.  Certainly not Marsha!  I mean I loved Marsha, after all she was a friend from when we were little, but she just couldn't help being messy.

And she just got messier with age, but she got married and moved away, so I didn't mind - she could make messes wherever she wanted, with all her sculptures and shows, and she had a bunch of children, I think three or four!  But as long as it was far away, I didn't care....but then, she moved back.  Her mother passed away and she moved into the house, supposedly to clean it up, but really, just to make more messes!  She took all her mother's old hoarded things and she was making sculptures!  And I went over and told her...(calmly)  please stop that....(less calm)  Marsha, you need to stop that, because....I can see the mess now, when you build those sculptures in the back yard!  And I do not want to see that!

All I wanted was neatness!  That's all I ever asked for!  That's why I never married, men are such messy things!  And children...HA!  The ultimate messes!

        (Listen, horrified)

I didn't hate Marsha!  No, I loved her, that's why I wanted to help her with her mess!  And I did!  I made sure there would be no more mess!

        (She listens, looks surprised)

Well of course I buried her!  And neatly, too!  Haven't you heard anything I've said?  No mess!

        (She looks very annoyed, turns to leave - in handcuffs, of course - stops looks back)

Some people just don't know the meaning of the word - grateful!

         (She exits to a very neat world - of prison)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
2016-17 San Diego Foundation Creative Catalyst Fellowship Grant
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Excellent. I mean, very very neat!