Sunday, March 12, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1124 Not Gonna Be Me (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 12, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

            first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!           *********                                                        
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                                              day, click here  There are now over 1100!
Get  more great  award-winning monologues -
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1124 Not Gonna Be Me (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 12, 2017      

                                            Not Gonna Be Me
                                                       (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                                              a monologue   by 
                                               by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved (c) 2017

      (Older actor stands, the group quiets as the actor waves hands)

Please!  No more applause!

       (The others laugh and clap)

That's better.  It's nice to hear some hands clapping just for me.  You know why?

       (No one answers and cups his hand to ear)

You know why?

       (They shout, 'Why?')

Because......I came to an amazing conclusion today, or maybe, that's the wrong word, maybe the word is...discovery?  Realization?  Anyhow, I am positive about very little, but this, I am definitely positive about.....I am never, ever, in my life, going to be President.

         (The others jeer and some suggest the actor would be a better President, actor waves hand dismissing this)

I'm sure I could be a better President, but that's not saying much, the issue is not the quality, but the opportunity, which is now, baring some type of odd situation where I got a genetic transplant and billions of dollars and won an election.....not gonna happen.

          (The others pretend to be disappointed)

And here's another revelation.....I'm never gonna be....Miss America.....

        (The others roar)

Or win an Oscar or a Tony.  Or get a Nobel or a Pulitzer.....or go to the moon.....I don't care if Elon Musk gives me a free ride, I ain't going!......I'm never gonna find a cure for cancer....or invent a new kind of toilet paper.....on all of these things.....It's just not gonna be me.....

Now, when I was a bit younger.....

         (The others hoot)

Okay, when I was young.....I guess I figured anything is possible.  You could wake up and decide...hey, I'm gonna climb Mt. Everest!  And you believe it could be true......or you see someone who takes your breath away, and you got a shot, that anything is possible.....(sighs deeply)  but now, I look at the movie stars and I know.....if they're going to be on the red carpet and want a's not gonna be me!  And it won't be me having dinner with the Pope or the Queen or....Elvis! Those ships have sailed and I'm not on them..... It's not gonna

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

But....when my sweetheart needs help in the morning to put on socks, or has to go to the doctor or figure out which pills to take.....well, that is gonna be me......

         (The others applaud, lights down)

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8