Friday, February 3, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1087 Sitting Shiva (a one-act) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 3, 2017

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Monologue Mania Day #1087 Sitting Shiva (a one-act) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 3, 2017

   In the Jewish tradition, after a person's death, the family sits 'shiva' for a week - which means a service at someone's home every night, with guests coming to help in the mourning process, usually with some refreshments.

                                                        Sitting Shiva ©
                                                    By Janet S. Tiger all rights reserved Jan. 2, 2016

Set – Simple, living room
Characters – (in order of appearance)
         LYNN – F – 50s
         PAM    - F  - 50s (Lynn’s younger sister)
          DADDY – M – 80s (Pam and Lynn’s father)

       (Lynn enters, carrying some bags.  She is dressed in black and she looks around, taking a deep breath.)

LYNN - Well, Daddy, you never know, do can happen anytime....

         (Pam enters, also dressed in black.  She sees Lynn and grabs some of the bags)

PAM  - Are you talking to yourself again?  Better do that in the bathroom when the                    others get here, I mean everyone knows you're nuts, but there's really no reason                to prove it, is there?

         (She looks in the bags)

PAM -  How much stuff did you get?  Why do we need this?

LYNN -  (As if to a child)  When people come to a shiva....they expect food.

PAM -  And God forbid you should disappoint them!  Who made up all this stuff for           shiva?  I mean I thought that in the Bible you just have to get the body into the           ground as fast as possible, because it was so damn hot there in the is this shiva stuff in the Bible, or is it just a bunch of things people decided to do          because no one wants to sit through a rabbi droning on with absolutely no           chance of anything to eat afterwards!

LYNN -  Food brings people together....

PAM -  Did you think of that yourself....or did you hear that on Oprah? 

            (Pam is opening chairs, putting out some of the items in the bags)

LYNN-  You never quit, do you?  Even on a day like today.....

PAM -  What are you complaining about?  This shiva thing was YOUR idea!  I don't           think Daddy really wanted it....

LYNN -  It's the right thing to do when someone dies......

PAM -  Someone?  You mean when Daddy dies.....

LYNN -  Please don't keep saying that....

PAM -  Why not?  Because you live in a land of delusion where no one dies?  Here's a newsflash, Miss Lynn.....everyone dies.....

LYNN - (Putting hands over ears)  Stop it!  why do you like to torture me?
(Pam holds up a bag)

PAM -  Because you like to torture me with apples and know how I hate fruit!

LYNN -  But who would think....

PAM -  Who would think an old sick man would die?  It was a surprise to all, but then again, so is the sun coming up every happens! It can't have that big a        surprise - he was talking about dying all the time.....

        (At this, Daddy enters, also in black)

DADDY -  Did I hear someone talking about me dying?  Isn't it enough my best friend in the whole world died?  My only friend that was left over the age of 80......and you  two wish it was me?

PAM -   Daddy, stop that!  We don't wish you were dead!  And you know it!

LYNN -  We just wish that......

DADDY - You didn't volunteer to do the shiva......

PAM - Exactly!

DADDY -  But you did volunteer, Lynn!

PAM -  Of course she did, she always does!

DADDY -  I don't appreciate that either!

LYNN -  What?  You just said Abe was your best friend!

DADDY -  So?

PAM -  (Triumphant)  I told you he didn't want to do this!

LYNN - (Amazed, sputtering)  But Daddy, you said.....

DADDY -  Since when did you start listening to me?  Look, Lynn, you were always the                 girl who couldn't say no....and that always comes back to bite you in the ass!  So just suck it up and let's hope not too many people come, because Shark Tank is                    on tonight, and they have the one with the rabbi who invented a new device for   mohels called easy slice!  I just love that one.....

LYNN -  Well, only a few of the folks from the coffee shop are coming.....

DADDY -  There are only a few folks left, so that is not surprising....what is surprising is        that I never thought I would be sitting shiva my own house.

LYNN -  Oh, Daddy, I know this can't be easy for you....I mean you and Abe go back a        long time....he was such a nice man...

DADDY -  He was an annoying idiot......and he even tried to make a pass at your           mother before she died......

PAM -  (Amazed)  Really?

DADDY -  Which just proved he was an idio......

LYNN -  You never said anything!

DADDY -  And ruin his reputation?  No, Abe was annoying, but when he grabbed your           mother's rear end one night when we were at a restaurant all of us.....I knew he       was slipping.....either his eyes or his brain....turned out to be both......

        (Pam and Lynn try not to laugh)

DADDY -  Look, girls, I realize that one day....this will be for me....

         (They start to protest, but he holds his hands up and they stop)

DADDY -  That's the way it works on this, I want you to know           something.....that I appreciate your having shiva for Abe.....he was all alone at           the end.....wife gone, no kids, only child.....a little may           complain....but I truly appreciate everything you two do for me.....all the good                    care, well, I know it's not easy, but I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for the two of               you.....

         (He takes their hands and holds them, they are very affected.  He looks out the           window and waves.)

DADDY - Look, they're coming.......Now I just have one request.....make sure that nice    young nurse of Abe's sits right next to me......

          (He plops on the sofa)

PAM -  Daddy!

DADDY -  Look, I may be old....but this ain't my shiva yet!

          (We see them hug each other as the lights dim.  Curtain)

The end---------------------------------------------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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