Monday, October 20, 2014

Monologue Mania Day Day # 250 by Janet S. Tiger The Devil's Food Oct. 20, 2014

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Monologue Mania Day  Day # 250 by Janet S. Tiger  The Devil's Food Oct. 20, 2014 
      Previous monologues from The Devil Comes to River Bend - Day # 196, 197, 198, 199, 200, 201, 202, 206, 207)

                                                The Devil's Food
                                       (For The Devil Comes to River Bend)
                              A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

            (The towel over the woman's shoulder and the pencil behind her ear says it all, she is in the food business, and she has been for a long time.  She looks at the audience and smiles, speaks in a slow Texas drawl)

Well, hello, New York.  I was wondrin' when you'd get to speak to me......can I offer you a cuppa coffee....on the house?  Everythin' else you pay for, because that's the way it works here.

         (Listens, laughs)

What do I know?  Now that's a rich one!  For a girl who never finished high school, I know a lot.  I know how to take the one pot of beans - the last because someone didn't order more in time - take that pot and get it to stretchout over two shifts of hungry watermelon pickers.

I know how to tell if a person's gonna pay for their lunch or try to skip out through the back bathroom window, so's I can offer them a free meal on the house before they become thieves.

And best of all, I know how to make a devil's food cake that's is so DEE-licious that it could make the devil himself say...Hallelujah!

But I think you wanna know somethin else....something about who killed Calvin.  And it's funny, because the sheriff never asked me.  Some might say it's because I was nowhere near the original accident that killed the Rodriguez boys and nowhere near the crash that killed Calvin because for 18 hours a day I am right here slingin' hash to hungry people!

         (She takes the towel and dries a glass)

Or some might say he didn't ask...because he knows that I know somethin'......and they would be right, because I do know somethin'....I know who shot Calvin, just as sure as I know that if I put in three eggs to the devil's food cake recipe, instead of four, it turns out not so tasty.  So, how bout that coffee?  I got a fresh pot just ready......

        (She turns to go, looks back)

I may know who killed Calvin, but I'll be goddamned if I'm a gonna tell you......

         (She exits, end of scene)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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