- for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
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To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
Monologue Mania Day# 260 by Janet S. Tiger No Ketchup! Oct. 30, 2014
No Ketchup!
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(A much older lady comes onstage - she is in what is politely called 'a rage.' She is brandishing a cane like a baseball bat.)
Didn't you hear me the first time? I said no ketchup! Mebbe I didn't say it loud enough- NO KETCHUP!
(She waves the cane around as if searching for the culprit)
How many times do I have to tell you idiots in this little box! They say old folks are deaf, well how come you can't hear me when I say NO KETCHUP! I may be gettin' old, but I know what I want - and I want......LISTEN CLOSE! ONE HOT DOG WITH MUSTARD AND NO KETCHUP!
That is the only way to eat a hot dog! Anything else is like a sacrilege to God, who invented hot dogs himself! So he should know!
(She leans on the cane for a moment to catch her breath)
Whew! But my Daddy told me, if you wanna do somethin', do it right, and do it right the first time. And if you don't want somethin', let people know....he was the one who showed me what to put on food - and I never forgot - ketchup is for hamburgers! Mustard is for hot dogs! I have lived my life with these standards and I am not stopping today just because I am 87 years old!
(She gets off the cane and waves it around)
So, listen good! I do not wanna get my hot dog and bite into it and see ketchup! Like eatin' blood! I do not wanna see red or I will see red! Get me?
Let me say again to be clear......(builds) ...No ketchup.....No ketchup.......NO KETCHUP......NO KETCHUP.........NOOOOOOOO! KEHHHHHHTCHUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Takes a deep breath) No ketchup.
(Listens)
Thank you.
(She takes some money from her purse and turns to leave, stops, looks back, shakes her cane)
Don't let them make you eat ketchup if you don't wanna! Just remember....No ketchup! No Ketchup!
(She marches out chanting with her cane held high. For her, the end of ketchup.....on hot dogs)
(A much older lady comes onstage - she is in what is politely called 'a rage.' She is brandishing a cane like a baseball bat.)
Didn't you hear me the first time? I said no ketchup! Mebbe I didn't say it loud enough- NO KETCHUP!
(She waves the cane around as if searching for the culprit)
How many times do I have to tell you idiots in this little box! They say old folks are deaf, well how come you can't hear me when I say NO KETCHUP! I may be gettin' old, but I know what I want - and I want......LISTEN CLOSE! ONE HOT DOG WITH MUSTARD AND NO KETCHUP!
That is the only way to eat a hot dog! Anything else is like a sacrilege to God, who invented hot dogs himself! So he should know!
(She leans on the cane for a moment to catch her breath)
Whew! But my Daddy told me, if you wanna do somethin', do it right, and do it right the first time. And if you don't want somethin', let people know....he was the one who showed me what to put on food - and I never forgot - ketchup is for hamburgers! Mustard is for hot dogs! I have lived my life with these standards and I am not stopping today just because I am 87 years old!
(She gets off the cane and waves it around)
So, listen good! I do not wanna get my hot dog and bite into it and see ketchup! Like eatin' blood! I do not wanna see red or I will see red! Get me?
Let me say again to be clear......(builds) ...No ketchup.....No ketchup.......NO KETCHUP......NO KETCHUP.........NOOOOOOOO! KEHHHHHHTCHUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Takes a deep breath) No ketchup.
(Listens)
Thank you.
(She takes some money from her purse and turns to leave, stops, looks back, shakes her cane)
Don't let them make you eat ketchup if you don't wanna! Just remember....No ketchup! No Ketchup!
(She marches out chanting with her cane held high. For her, the end of ketchup.....on hot dogs)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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1 comment:
Funny and so true!
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