- for a whole year!
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If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
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To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
Monologue Mania Day Day # 245 by Janet S. Tiger Better Chances Oct. 15, 2014
Dial M for Marriage
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(A young man comes onstage. He is dressed neatly, but we can see he is a bit edgy. There is the outline of something in his jacket pocket)
Hello, doctor.
I want you to know how much I appreciate your help this year. I mean, I know how hard you work, and I really feel, like, you know, that you want to help me. And I think you have, truly.
When I started, I wasn't sure what I wanted. I mean, I knew things had to change, but how? So, every week, I come here, and you have shown me a way to make my life different, better.
I remember the first day, it took almost the whole session to tell you that I had trouble meeting girls. And another month before I admitted that one day, it would be nice to get married.
So this year, I have studied and researched and learned a...a great deal. My job in the insurance industry has been really invaluable, too, and that was another thing you did to help me, you know. I never realized once I put my mind to something, something than actuarial tables, that, my life could change.
Marriage is a funny thing, there's so much divorce, and I wanted to avoid that, if possible. So, when I studied the marriages that have the fewest divorces, and the professions that have the highest level of marriage, I noticed an intersection....
(He reaches into his pocket, almost removes the bulging object, but decides to wait)
You see, in order to increase my chance of marriage, there are certain professions that almost ensure you will get married. The medical profession, the criminal justice profession and rock singers have very high rates of marriage, but I am already 25, and was never that great with either doctor or lawyer stuff, so I ruled that out. And I cannot carry a tune, let alone play electric guitar.
No, my profession, insurance has an average rate for marriage.....along with most of the other jobs - but there is one field where the marriage rate is very high......
Murder. Or maybe I should say murderers.
Yes, isn't that a strange factoid? I mean, it was hard to understand, but it seems to hold true across the years. Men who kill have fan clubs! And they often have a lot of women writing to them, sending personal letters, and many proposals of marriage! And the women are hot, too, here....look at this...
(He pulls out a book from his jacket pocket, opens it)
This is the woman who married that serial killer in Ohio, isn't she beautiful? And this one....
(Turns a few pages)
She was wife of the guy who picked up all those hitchhikers.....Very impressive, right?
This is why I have decided, since I want to get married and all, to kill someone.....
(From his back pocket, he now pulls out a large, very sharp...knife)
Maybe even a few people. The correlation appears to be the greater the number of murders, the more groupies! What a strange world!
So, I hope you don't mind, but...I think I'll start with you.....
(He jumps into the crowd and runs to exit, stops, looks back)
But do I still have to pay for this session?
(He exits......the end of this shrink)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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