Thursday, April 21, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #800 Cheetah by Janet S. Tiger (c) Apr. 22, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

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Monologue Mania Day #800 Cheetah by Janet S. Tiger (c) Apr. 22,  2016 

                                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger  (c) 2016 all rights 

           (An older man enters, sets up his phone to record himself)

Hello friends and family!

Because I am real close to the end, I have decided that if I come back as an animal, I want to come back as a....cheetah.  You heard me....not a lion or a tiger....but a cheetah.  Why?  Because I was such a cheater in this life!

(Laughs)  That's funny, right...but, I am a cheater.

There, the truth.

I have been a cheater since I was a kid.

I never liked tests, so I hated studying for them, and then I saw Suzy was smart, and she liked me, so I would look at her paper and copy it - not all of it, just enough to pass.

And then I figured out about cheating!

How easy, and if you were careful, you don't have to get caught!

I cheated on my taxes.....never caught.....I cheated on all three of my wives....of course, they cheated on me, too, so that was an even exchange.

And then I cheated on  all my students - half the time I never read their papers, just glanced through and gave a grade!  Most never knew - and if anyone complained, I fixed it.  So what?  Who cares what a grade is 30 years later?  I cheated on my tests, I assumed they all cheated!  Because cheating is what everyone does....some more than others.

Everyone watching this has least once.  You know it even if you don't tell anyone.......

            (He leans in closer...this is a secret)

Now I'm cheating the nurses......I told them I needed a sleeping pill, but I don't really.  

So I sell them the other patients.....well, actually..... not all of them.

Some I'm.... saving.....right now I have over 100 of them....I think that's enough..... night..... I plan to take them all.  You see....I'm going choose when I go to the big sleep!

         (He goes to turn off the camera, stops)

Because the last one I plan to the Grim Reaper....

         (He shuts off the camera.....really almost the end)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.