Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #783 A Day in the Life of a Caregiver (monologue) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Apr. 5, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
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Monologue Mania Day #783 A Day in the Life of a Caregiver (monologue)  by Janet S. Tiger (c) Apr. 5,  2016 

                                     A Day in the Life of a Caregiver
                                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                   © 2016 all rights reserved 
      (Actor comes onstage - with bags and boxes of items that they roll out in a wheelchair or walker)

Hello!  I am going to show you a day in the life of a caregiver!

For those who are asking - What could be more depressing!...please!  we are not depressing, we are depressed!  35% of the millions of caregivers show signs of clinical depression!

Isn't that a cheery statistic.....but let's get past the fun stuff to begin the day...  let's see what we have.......

        (Pulls out an alarm clock)

BZZZZZZ!  To start the day off with a bang!

          (Now has toilet paper and cleaning materials)

Bathroom duty....clean out the bedside commode.....

           (Has a bag of adult undergarments)

Depends change.....
(Excited)  And meds!  

          (Throws pill bottles in the air and juggles them)

And dressings!  Let's get all those bandages on....

          (Boxes of bandaids)

And medical devices affixed!

          (Eyepatches, and other slings appear - an alarm rings and they turn it off, sighs)

Up thirty minutes and I have yet to brush my teeth!

(if female)  Or put on make-up- let's forget it for today.... Or forever, whichever comes first....

 But the person we take care of.....

We have to do their teeth.....

And dressing...

Wait, I thought I did dressing! 

            (Holds up the bandaids, shakes head)

 NO!  Dressing!  I get so confused!

            (Pulls out clothing and throws it up in the air.  Stops, thinks, looks at watch)

Wait, have we had breakfast yet?  I don't think so....so....coming right up!
            (Pulls out a frying pan and bounces food on it)

And now for the rest of the day......

Time for a walk!  It's sunny, no it's raining!

                (Pulls out hats and umbrellas)

We have to go shopping!  And ...oh, my God....did we have.....horrors!  ...a doctor's appointment?

                (Look at watch, and phone, and calendar)

We're late!

                (Runs around collecting all the items on the floor and throws them into the boxes, putting the boxes onto the wheelchair, walker)

Which doctor is it today?  Primary?  

(Thinking)  No!  A specialist....but who?  Urologist?  Cardiologist?

Oncologist?  Procotologist?



 Gynocologist....Orthopedic Surgeon?

(Trying to remember)  Wait....not a doctor....no today is physical therapy!

              (Runs the wheelchair/walkeraround the stage)

Still needs a car ride!  And I have to get gas.....and the engine light checked...

And find a place to park....and remember to put up the handicapped sign!

             (Wipes forehead)

Is it time for lunch?  For them, yes......special food.....

Healthy food designed by the nutritionist.....so they stay strong....

But me......I'm getting me a burger!

            (Calling to order from the fast food window)

And don't forget the milk shake and fries!  Or the oxygen tank!

 And the day isn't even half over, why am I a little tired?

 I don't know.....all I do is take care of someone....how hard could that be?

 Easy peesy....Actually, I take care of two people, so....actually it's twice as easy!

            (Goes very fast through the next items)

 Home and time for a nap, and then it's dinner time and it's sundowning and then it's bathtime and then it's time to wash a million dishes and glasses and where did their glasses go they can't watch tv without the right glasses!  And then -on the days without physical therapy - there's exercises and a shower and washing clothes!  Lots of clothes that no matter about the Depends there's always accidents!  And then it's time for bed and did I lock all the doors so they don't wander out and is the commode ready and is the nightlight on and......

            (Collapses on the floor)

Why am I still tired?

            (Gets up slowly)

Just lazy I guess!

             (Hears a noise)

Did I hear something?

              (Listens again)

(Horror)  Oh, no!  It can't be....I just went to sleep!

Well, let's get going.....a day in the life of a caregiver! And we do it....because we love them...and they love us....

               (Turns and and bows, start to walk off, stop, look back)

There's a bill that will make sure caregivers get Social Security benefits.....and if it passes, it can help....so please help pass this bill.....there's a link below with more info  -please pass it along, and show us caregivers that someone cares about us....thank you.....

           (Exits to another fun day..... we say thank you to all the caregivers who give every day. Let's help them - https://lowey.house.gov/media-center/press-releases/lowey-introduces-legislation-provide-social-security-earnings-credit)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Oh, my god. Incredible. And funny!