Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #797 Gold Medal (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Apr. 19, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #797 Gold Medal (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Apr. 19,  2016 

                                                     Gold Medal
                                                (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                   © 2016 all rights reserved 
                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (A woman in her fifties enters, holding up  ribbon and shaking it)

Hey!  Hello everyone!

            (She points at the wheelchair, shakes her head)

I don't need no stinking wheelchair!  I got me a medal!

Look a here!

            (The others ooh and ah)

You know what this is?  A gold medal!  From the Worry Olympics!

           (When the others hoot and holler, she dismisses them)

Oh you all could probably win a medal, too!  Everyone here is a champion in the Worry Olympics!

And guess what?  I didn't even have to practice or exercise!  I just do what I've been doing for years - that's why I do it so well!

Oh, sure, other people may HAVE it worse, but the ability to worry about it, now that's an art!

Where do I start?

Right at the beginning - Mom and Dad!  Who divorced years ago, so we have to take care of them in not one home, but two!

Dad remarried, but then his second wife had the GALL to die on all of us just when Dad is needing more help!  What an inconsiderate woman she turned out to be......so worry about him is high up there....but then....my mom is taken care by my sister....who never married, so the two of them live in a house which was never neat to start, but now looks like an episode of Hoarders!  And that was before the cats!

So my sister calls and tells me she's not sure WHY her eye is twitching!  Could it be a stroke?  Or the fact Mom is driving her to the wing-ding lounge?  So my sis takes the leap to the top of the Worry list!

         (She jumps up as high as she can)

But then.......I get an email from my daughter.......who is watching her uncle, who is just starting into Alzheimers......

          (She runs and gets a broom handle, using it to simulate a pole vault)

My daughter is having trouble caring for her uncle....who she loves....but school is tough this semester and she's thinking of.....DROPPING OUT!

But that is only part of the medal-quality worry!  My husband, who needs a new kidney and has been on dialysis for 3 years.......has learned he is still two years from a transplant!

          (She climbs on a chair and leaps off like a  bird)

And when I tell him that I talked to the doctor.....and if I donate a kidney in what is known as a kidney chain.....he could have a new kidney in two months......my husband says.......'I don't want you to do that.......because if something happened to you......WHO WOULD TAKE CARE OF ME?'

So he trapezes up to the top - because I almost killed him for that!

            (The others cheer as she turns to go to her seat. as she peels the outer layer off and takes a bite of the 'medal)

Mmm.....chocolate....the best medal of all!

But...don't worry....there's always tomorrow......and I hope all of you try out.....I know each and every one of you could be a contender!  And the best part – no waiting four years…..the Worry Olympics is every day!

            (Spotlight on her, then blackout.  Never the end of the Worry Olympics!)
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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8


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1 comment:

Jennifer Silva Redmond said...

Funny! (The truth always is.)