Friday, November 28, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #289 by Janet S. Tiger The Day After Nov. 28, 2014

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Monologue Mania Day #289 by Janet S. Tiger  The Day After Nov. 28, 2014 

                                                       The Day After
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

              (A woman is crying, wailing actually, as she slowly comes onstage.  She has a big box of kleenex and she leaves a trail behind.)

Waaaahhhhh!  I always hate the day after!  Especially the day after Thanksgiving!  There's so much to do, to shop for, to clean up, to prepare for Christmas!  And I am never ready!  It seems like the year just started and now it's almost over and I have not done half the things I wanted to!

Like write my first novel!  Or take that cruise to the Mediterranean!  Or learn to play the piano!  Or study Chinese!

And forget all of those -  I barely had time to clean the refrigerator!


            (She pulls out a kleenex.  Horrors, it's the last one!)

Oh, no....this was my last box of kleenex!  And I hate using toilet paper, it's an admission of poor planning!  And I hate the thought of going out to shop for more kleenex in those horrible stampeding crowds!  What will I do?  Waaahhhhh!

           (She stops crying suddenly and looks at the kleenexes on the floor, reaches down to pick one up, blows her nose.)

That wasn't so bad, these are barely used, although they are awfully small compared to what they were when I was a child.....or was that because I was smaller?  Oh, who can figure out the complexities of this world!  Waaaah!

           (She goes to use the kleenex on her eyes, thinks better of it, uses her sleeve.)

Oh, it just gets worse and worse!  Here I am, wiping my eyes with my....sleeves!  My mother, rest her soul, is probably spinning in her grave over this, (imitates)  'I taught you better, Rose Ellen, pull yourself together and leave this pity party!'

(Herself)  But I can't momma!  Everything is just falling to pieces around me!  Like ......I can't even think of an analogy, I'm so tired!  Let me see, what did that therapist tell me to do when I felt like this.....was it take a shower, or a nap, or jump off a bridge, no, not that last one......wait, it was.....focus on what is the real trouble.......I think that was it.......

           (She stops, puts the kleenexes down, thinks)

What is the real problem here?  (She nods, scratches, takes a deep breath)

I don't want to admit it, I suppose, because, well, getting to this point is hard.....but I guess.....(another deep breath)....I guess I'm upset youth is gone......I can't do what I once could.....oh, who am I fooling......this is all because of that damned was so delicious.....(she revels in it) mmmmmmm......

           (She shrugs her shoulders, turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And the worst part is - I don't have room for another piece!

            (She exits - not the end of the pie....yet)

Happy Birthday Louis!
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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