- for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
Monologue
Mania Day #267 by Janet S. Tiger Email to God Nov. 6,
2014
Email to
God
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(A teenage girl comes onstage holding a cell
phone, typing furiously. She is almost in tears)
Oh,
God, please listen to me. I am sending you an email just in case there
is too much noise here on earth…….God, you know I don’t ask for much, I mean,
outside of wanting those BEAUTIFUL boots for my birthday, incidentally,
thankyou, I do love them…but right now, this minute….. I need REAL
help! The kind of help only you
can do! I mean, if you are not too busy
right now, I REALLY need your help! I know you have a lot a things that
are more important, like ebola, and war, but right now....I have a math test in
like ...five minutes...and I have to do things I don't understand, like those
equations with letters and numbers!
And
not to be too negative, but I know that I am going to fail! And I
will have to take this class again! And I will never get my degree until
I am like 40 years old so as you can see..... I will be in community college
for the rest of my life!
So
our pastor said you could do anything, I was just wondering if maybe.... I
could get a brain transplant? I know I have to be careful what I wish
for, but this is SO important! But it would have to be a brain
that can do math! I would not want a guinea pig brain because even
though guinea pigs are very cute, I don't think they can do math, and that's
what I need ...RIGHT NOW!
What
can I do? Can you help me apply for a brain transplant? I heard
there are all kinds of experimental things, maybe I could get into one of
those.......whatamIgonna do?
It's
too late to study more, you know I've been studying for days,
weeks......months! And as soon as the test is in front of me, I know I
will forget it all! Why do I have such a bad math brain! I know I
shouldn't complain, and I do other things OK, but math is like, the only thing
people care about! Not people like me, but you must care about math,
don't you God? I mean, you had all the animals come in two by two, right,
and that's easy to count.....(realizing something) Wait a minute, God are
you bad at math? Nah, you can't be bad at anything, you're God! So
why did you do this to me! Please! Can you just smite math from the
earth?
(She peers at her cell)
I
have to be in class in …….three minutes!
This
is a nightmare!
(Pinches herself)
And
it's worse than that, it's a living nightmare!
(Looks at cell)
Wait
a minute....what does that say?
(Peers at the phone)
(Cheering)
The professor just sent out a text…..The copier broke…. and the test has been
cancelled until next week! Yeah! (Jumps up and down, then deflates) Oh, no, another week of....studying, of anguish....of
WORRY!
(Her head droops, she turns to leave, stops, looks back)
But
it's also a week with no math test! Yeah! A whole week of freedom!
(She looks up and waves)
Thank
you, God! See you next week!
(She exits, not the end of math or God.)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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