Saturday, November 22, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #283 by Janet S. Tiger Pockets Out Nov. 22, 2014

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Monologue Mania Day #283 by Janet S. Tiger  Pockets Out   Nov. 22, 2014 

                                                             Pockets Out
                                                         (for the Senior Channel)
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                             tigerteam1@gmail.com 

      (A man comes onstage with his pant pockets pulled out.  He takes his hands and pushes them back in)

That's it, that's why I am here on this TV show, to show everyone the secret to success in life.  It’s very easy.

Let me show you again.

He puts his hands into his pockets and pulls them out again, then puts them back in)

        (He turns to leave, hears someone, stops)

Oh, why does it work?  Simple!  This is exactly what my pops taught me a long time ago.  He said his father taught him, back when they bought their first washing machine, which was a very big deal in those days.  When everyone had been told to empty out their pockets before they put their pants in the wash, or else there would be trouble. 

When someone in the family had left an ink pen in their pocket and it had leaked all over the whole family's Sunday go to church clothing.......which someone happened to be my father, and who expected to get a good whupping when it turned out the ink pen was his very own Eversharp Skyline fountain pen.

It turns out that when things got left in the pockets, they messed up the wash.....What things? I asked my pops.  Things like marbles and chewing gum candy bars and food you didn't want to eat at dinner and change and folding dollars, well bills may not have messed up the wash, but it did make them harder to spend…..and ink pens, which leak all over everything, and there would be trouble, because that’s the way it was in those days.

And he told me he was expecting his whupping from his father, and his father took him into the basement, and told him that anyone can make a mistake, the secret is learning how not to repeat that mistake with a simple system that would work.......then his father showed him how to make sure nothing was in the pockets, and it was fun, and it was easy.....all you had to do was.....

       (He  pulls out the pockets again)

Simple, and lots of fun to do!  All the stuff in your pockets falls on the floor and makes a big noise!  Hey, I was three years old, everything that makes noise is fun at that age.

And he told me that if I could do that my whole life, in other words, figure out a system to avoid problems and then follow those directions consistently, every time, for this one thing that made someone's life easier, then my life would be easier - meaning, it would save my mother time and she would not be mad if something bad got in the wash. And when I did the wash for myself one day, it would save me.  Consistency.  If I could do that, then I could do.....ANYTHING! consistently.  Show up on time for school, do my homework, pay my taxes on time.......keep my promises.  I would avoid problems and be dependable.  And it was so easy......

        (He turns out his pockets again, puts them back in)

So, throughout my life, whenever I faced a problem that needed a simple, easy solution, I just pulled the pockets out until I figured out that solution......

      (He smiles and pulls the pockets out now with a great flourish)

And it still is fun!  
  
       (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And you know what, it still works!

       (He walks offstage, pulling his pockets in and out.  The end of weird stuff in the wash!)

  
      
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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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