Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Monologue Mania Day # 1657 Toilet Tears by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 30, 2018

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Monologue Mania Day # 1657 Toilet Tears by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 30, 2018     

                            Toilet Tears

                                           by Janet S. Tiger
                        (c) all rights reserved  2018

       (Actress comes out, crying, with a box of kleenex)

So many things to cry about, and guess what get my tears going?

The toilet!

You heard me......I have family members with serious health issues,  friends who are in the hospital, tons of bills, and numerous other greater and lesser worries - and I won't even mention the climate change or politics!  and yet, what gets my tear ducts moving is.......the potty.

When the toilet does not work - as it did today - something happens.  Was it a serious problem?  Thank God, no!  No spewing and overflowing effluent, just a worn out flap that made sure the tank wouldn't fill and lots of water was being wasted.

A five-dollar plastic flap with a metal chain!

How does something so insignificant have the power to bring me to my knees?

           (She takes the kleenex, blows her nose loudly)

In the midst of my sobbing, I think I had a revelation.....the flap

I just keep going for years.....up and down, water flowing - controlled by others' hands......yet never complaining, until I start to wear out.

The first signs are leaking, heard by some, ignored by all!

Then it gets worse, the sounds of the drips can be heard at night, until a fan is put on because it is very warm.   So the problem is .....not there.  Out of earshot, out of mind.

Out of my mind.

I am the one who ignores it - and so the tears represent my own finally paying attention to problems that can no longer be swept under the rug.....or out to sea.

Tears have been shed- and emotions flushed........I admit I am really worried about those I love, and they are concerned about me....crying over a toilet flap.

            (Picks up kleenexes, stuffs them into pockets)

So, for five dollars, and a few minutes of re-attachment, the problem is solved.  

On to the next dilemma - my beautiful daughter is washing her hair with a centuries old recipe from the mountains of some far-away place - and now the whole house smells of it.

Unfortunately, it smells like vomit.

         (Turns to leave, stops, looks back, smiles)

But since I'm cried out, to solve this problem, I settle for turning on all the fans.....and a big bowl of ice cream!

          (Exits laughing)
Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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