Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 four year Feb. 14, 2017- today!
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Monologue Mania Day # 1640 So Close by Janet S. Tiger (c) Aug. 13, 2018
So Close
a monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) 2018
(Actor comes onstage with a ruler)
So close.....I came so close. Close....but no cigar.......
(Puts the ruler in front of stomach)
They say if you halve the distance to an object, you get closer, but never there. Never understood that in math class.....but now I do.
Why? Because.....(takes a deep breath).......today I almost died.
It was so close. I could feel the car as it whizzed past my back.
It was so fast. Yet I can still feel it in slow motion.
Every day, I guess there's a moment like that.....a car misses us, or maybe an asteroid doesn't hit us! Or maybe....a tiny particle that gets stuck in an artery gets flushed away......who knows? Who ever knows? I never much thought about stuff like this, but this time.... If I had seen the car, or felt it any sooner, maybe I would've turned - and been hit.
(Turns and imagines the impact)
But no.
(Shakes it off, looks at the ruler)
My number wasn't up.
Not yet.
So now......
(turns to leave, stops, looks back)
I think I'll have a cigar!
(Exits in a measured way)
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The expression 'close, but no cigar' comes from-
The phrase, and its variant 'nice try, but no cigar', are of US origin and date from the mid-20th century. Fairground stalls gave out cigars as prizes, and this is the most likely source, although there's no definitive evidence to prove that.
* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
1 comment:
My acting teacher used to say, "when someone almost wipes you out, like a taxi zooms by you in the sidewalk, you should say 'thank you', because it's the first time that day you were truly awake!"
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