Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #1014 The Society of Ever After by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 22, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #1014 The Society of Ever After by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 22, 2016

                                           The Society of Ever After
                               (Definitely not) A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

                     (Three older women enter, they have nice clothing and hair, and although  they are not decrepit yet,  have certainly seen better days.  Rosie is the oldest, smoking and very skeptical, Ella is cheery, almost bouncing.  Blanche is Ella'ss cousin, also happy, but a little dim.  The three are looking around, a little nervous.)

BLANCHE -  Ooh, I've never been here before!  It's like almost.....ooh, what's a good word, cuz?

ELLA -  Magic?

ROSIE -  If you like your magic Johnny Deppish.

BLANCHE - (giggling)  Oh, Rosie, you always look for the ....ooh, what's the opposite of 'silver lining?'

ROSIE -  You always look for the.... silly lining....

BLANCHE -  (Giggling) 

ELLA -  Leave her alone, Rosie....let's try to focus, I'm getting a bit hungry, don't you think after inviting us with that big fancy invitation and the limo they'd have a nice spread?

ROSIE -  Something is fishy, and it ain't yesterday's underwear....

          (Blanche laughs out loud and Ella shakes her head)

ELLA -  You are horrible!

ROSIE  -  Not as bad as your old man!

ELLA -  (Blushing)  Please do not talk about Art that way!

ROSIE -  The Art previously known as Prince......very cheap attempt at publicity, if I must say...

ELLA -  Must you say everything that comes into your head?

ROSIE -  Oh, quitcher bitchen.....none of us kissed the right frog, did we?  I mean my guy is into necrophilia, and yours has a foot fetish, and Blanche's bozo, well, he'd rather be riding with the stableboys, right? Not that there's anything wrong with it....

BLANCHE - (Puzzled)  What exactly does that mean?  Those boys are so sweet!

           (There is a loud noise that gets their attention, they move closer)

ROSIE -  Not that I'm afraid or anything...but what the hell's goin' on here.....

           (They hear something and look up, seeing something only they can see.  They follow the object's descent to the floor, where they pick up a book)

BLANCHE -  I love books!  But...oh, these are not nice pictures....

ELLA -  What the.....

ROSIE -  I think this is it, girls, I mean we got happily ever after, where the happily lasted all of a month or two, then we get the after......and now.....

ELLA -  (Starting to get nervous)  I think these pictures, are of......oh, no....

             (Rosie puts out her cigarette and takes out a flask, swigs a big drink and offers it to the others)

ROSIE -  Yes, ladies, those picture are us........here we are at the beginning when we were all young and cute and had boobs that didn't give us bruises on our kneecaps........Blanche, there's you with that little one.....Bashful.......and there you are Ella, one shoe off just like always!.....

ELLA -  And that's you, Rosie!  With that apple in your mouth like a sleeping pig!

ROSIE -  (Ignores her).....but on this page..... these are us....right.......(hisses).....now....and see what's coming down the line.....

           (She points)

BLANCHE  - (Horrified) That can't be us!

ROSIE -  Look again.my dears......

              (Ella and Blanche look and make awful faces)

ELLA -  I know I've slipped a little....

              (The others hoot)

ELLA -  (Annoyed)  But not this bad!  We don't look this bad!  Do we?

              (They all take out phones and look at themselves, do selfies, then Rosie looks at the book more closely)

ROSIE -   I think this is the last chapter for us.....the end of ......ever......hey, take a look at this....

              (The others turn away)

BLANCHE -  You tell us Rosie!  

ROSIE -  (Reading) The Society of Ever After......that would be us, my friends......The Society is comprised of women who.....get this......who believe in the power of magic, but then find life does not believe in this magic, so.....as time passes, the magic does, too......and the heroines become......(horrified)....become the villains!

             (She slams the book shut and rises, furious)

ROSIE -  I refuse to read this!  I am not gonna sit here and take this!  I didn't ask to be born so beautiful, but when I did get born, was my damned life so easy?  I mean, my mother was dead before I could get to know her......

BLANCHE - (Thinking) That sounds familiar.....

ELLA - Amen!

ROSIE -  And then we all get saddled with some royal pains in the ass!  Well, we are mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore!

ELLA -  That sounds familiar.....

BLANCHE -  (Jumping up and down)  It was in that movie!  The one with everyone screaming out the windows!  I remember!

ROSIE -  THAT she remembers.....come on my dear friends, we can't just take this lying down....

ELLA -  I think that may be part of the problem, dear....

BLANCHE -  And what do you suggest we do?  Write a protest letter to the electrical college?

ELLA - (Kind)  No dear, that's the election garbage, try to follow now!

ROSIE -  That's the problem!  We are always following!  We need to start something for once!  Not be the victims!  To be the winners!  The heroes!  Come on ladies, put on your big girl panties and join me now!

           (She stands tall and starts to leave, stops as they pull at her)

ELLA -  But where are we going?

BLANCHE -  And what are we going to do?  Ooh!

ROSIE -  We're going to do what all heroes do!  We're going....to solve all our problems by going....on a journey!

                (She storms out and they watch, then Ella and Blanche hold hands and walk off after her)

BLANCHE -  Sounds like fun!

ELLA -  As long as we're home for dinner!

              (They exit to ....the beginning!  End scene 1)


Where Rosie comes from-

"Sleeping Beauty" is adapted from both the Charles Perrault and Brothers Grimm versions of the classic fairy tale. In Perrault, the princess's name is Aurora; in Grimm, it's Briar Rose. In the movie, she's born Aurora but takes on Briar Rose as an alias during the years she spends hiding out from Maleficent. 2.
Where Ella comes from -

Cinderella https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinderella


Where Blanche comes from  - 

Snow White  (get it?  Blanche is the name for White

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

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