Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #1001 Holding Pattern (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 9, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #1001 Holding Pattern  (for Caregivers Anonymous)
 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Nov. 9, 2016
Caregivers Anonymous is-
-the recipient of a San Diego Foundation Creative Catalyst Program Fellowship grant 
-sponsored by Playwrights Project and 
-has a website now -

For other monologues from Caregivers Anonymous, please see Days # 268, 270, 271, 273, 284, 285, 286, 314, 317, 380, 412, 444, 454, 455, 456, 473, 474, 475, 476, 483, 484, 513, 514, 566, 569, 666, 692, 702, 714, 777, 778, 782, 783, 797, 802, 812, 813, 820, 869, 874, 881, 889, 903, 917, 927, 961, 965-7, 969  and today's 1001

                                              Holding Pattern                 
                                             (for Caregivers Anonymous)
                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

            (She comes out in a stewardess outfit, takes off the hat, smiles)

Hi-  I just got in an hour ago and came straight here because.....well, because I needed to see you all.......we were in a holding pattern for an hour, so I didn't have time to go and change, but no one seems to mind here what we long as we have something on!

            (The others laugh and point to one of the members who does a 'who, me?' face)

Except for Lonnie, of course, our resident nudist!  But naked has never been for me, no, I love this uniform!  Same one for over thirty five years.....well, maybe they changed it a bit, but you know what I mean.

I can be sure of this uniform.....I guess, and sure of this group..... but not much else, I suppose. When I first started, I was taking care of my grandfather, then he passed, and then five years ago, my Mom, and she passed......and now.....I'm back here because.....I have my third person to care son.  You may remember him.....bright fellow, a computer guy, and now......schizophrenic......

           (The others give their support)

That's okay, I know we all have our stuff to deal with, it's just so funny.....I thought with my grandfather's cancer, and my Mom's dementia......I thought I'd seen it all, but no, I guess I hadn't. I guess it's because...mental illness is a different kind of sick.....a hazy thing, not like cancer growing what shows up on an xray, or like dementia which you can see in an MRI..... No, mental illness is never knowing what the day will's psychiatrists and psychologists and group therapy and meds and which meds work and which meds make him too sleepy and which meds make him grow a second head......maybe that's an exaggeration, but is the worst of the three.   Because it's...... about a child.....and somehow, it's worse when it's your child. Because you always figure once they finish diapers, it's all easy!  But, no......(sighs heavily)......

Well, last week, I had the unequaled experience of the 72-hour-hold.

         (A few nod and she nods back)

Because he was suicidal and I couldn't stay up all night watching him, wondering if he had found a secret stash of meds or a knife.....or God forbid a gun.......It was right before the election, and he was so scared......he actually burned himself, and that's when I took him is not a great place that holding tank.  You have to leave everything in a locker, your cell phone....well maybe that's one of the good things!.....

         (They all agree)

.......and all the plastic bags are taken away, and the strings on his shoes......and your keys and your.....your dignity.

         (She hangs her head and Jeannie comes over and puts an arm around, asks if she's ok)

No, I am not OK - they let him out after the hold was up, and he was super medicated....his eyes were at half mast!.......and I was so upset.....and so tired!  And worried and....I actually ....I actually said to him......maybe I should say that I'm going to kill myself .....and then they'll give me a quiet room for three days!

       (She puts her hand over her mouth while the others tell her it's a good idea)

And I wished the words could have been sucked back and then I realized.......maybe it wasn't such a bad concept!  Three days with other people worrying about ME!  And three days without worrying about anyone but ME!  It sounded like.....(hard to say)  HEAVEN!

       (She turns to go back to her seat, stops, looks back)

And that's when I knew it was time to come back here......

       (Lights down on her......but not on mental illness)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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