Sunday, September 25, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #956 The Man With Two Cocks (for the Book of Teas) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 25, 2016

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 Monologue Mania Day #956 The Man With Two Cocks  by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 25, 2016

          Alert - has no sexual content!

                                   The Man With Two Cocks 
                                      (for The Book of T's - still haven't decided on the spelling)
                                                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                      © 2016 all rights reserved

              (T enters and goes to a closet where she removes a roasting pan)

You know how old this pan is, Vivien?  It's over a hundred years now....sometimes I think about my great grandmother, what she might have been cookin' a hundred years ago today.

(Sighs heavily)  I realize you're going through some tough times, and listenin' to me go on about the past is prob'ly borin'.......but gettin' dinner ready made me think of a story back when I was considerin gettin married, about how my Daddy told me never to marry a man .....with two cocks.

        (Listens, shakes head)

Girl, get your mind outta the gutter!  I am talkin' about the other kind - the rooster kind!   I imagine my Daddy loved tellin' that story just cause of the reaction he would get.  But now that I have your usually very divided attention, here's what he told me about choosin' a husband.  A man who owns a farm with two ROOSTERS...that is not a smart man. Because the roosters will fight, and the hens will not be happy, and there will be smaller eggs, and less new baby chickens, and ain't good to have some things divided.

Like attention......when attention gets divided......and not in the good way, like when you have twins....but when you are payin' too much attention to one of those silly phones instead of listenin' when a spouse is tellin' you somethin is wrong....well, that's why the man with two cocks stands for more than just......small eggs.

What can you do if you are thinkin' about a man with two cocks?  Wait and see if he brings you one for dinner......

         (She turns to get a chicken from the freezer, stops, looks back)

.....or you better be gettin on your goodbye shoes ......and be gone.

         (She slaps the chicken in the pan.  Lights down)
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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