Friday, September 9, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #940 A Hundred Million Monologues by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 9, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #940 A Hundred Million Monologues by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 9, 2016

(inspired by an anonymous writer who is truly nuts)

                   A Hundred Million Monologues

                   (with apologies to Flower Drum Song - A Hundred Million Miracles)
                                       A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 

                                             © 2016 all rights reserved

               (Actor comes onstage, looks at audience, shakes head)

This is an intervention, and boy, do you need it!


Sorry, I'm supposed to stay as neutral as (robotic) this is an intervention.....we have all gathered ...along with some pizza and chocolate because everyone needs a little incentive to get involved.....we have today all your favorite people and foods because you need to know everyone is worried about you......

I mean, you started with this project of a monologue a day for one year.  Scary.  And that first year was amazing....and everyone thought great, you got through the year, and some of them were produced and others became plays, but a year is a long time, and..... then you continued.  OK, a little crazy, but open ended.....and then, you finished year two, and are closing in on 1000 monologues, and you say you are going to keep going to.....let me get this straight.....a hundred million monologues!  You would have to live for .....(looks at calculator)...a whole lotta years!  And here's another great factor..... you actually think you will!

Which means, you are now OFFICIALLY  nuts!

And what you are doing is NUTS!   No one does this...and please stop telling everyone that you repeat some days, those are days you revise, or shorten......and missing a day or two or revising.....this does not reduce the overall total!  Wait....where are you going!  For an intervention, you have to stay and listen to all your family and friends...

        (Indicates the audience)

who are, for the most part, normal...ok, semi-normal, but at least none of us is trying to write A HUNDRED MILLION MONOLOGUES!

         (Listens, nods)

Okay, if you have to....go write today's monologue and come back as fast as you can!  I know you can write them in five minutes or less, so snap to!  We'll be here waiting.....but we can't guarantee that about the chocolate......

         (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And stop singing the song! I can't get it out of my head now!

         (Exits singing A Hundred Million Monologues...I mean Miracles.)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.