Saturday, September 3, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #934 The God Forbid List (for The Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 3, 2016

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Monologue Mania Day #934 The God Forbid List (for the Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Sept. 3,  2016

First installment of the Senile Sisters here
This may also be used somewhere in CAREGIVERS ANONYMOUS

                                 The God Forbid List
                                              (for Senile Sisters - Senior Channel)
                                                        by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                  © 2016 all rights reserved

     (The two sisters come onstage holding a framed paper)

SISTER ONE - Here it is folks!

SISTER TWO - Can you get the camera to do a close-up?

         (They hold up the paper like a prize)

S1 -  There!  Impressive, right?

S2 -   I hope so, because I have no idea what it is?

S1 -  You silly thing's a list we did over two years ago!  I just found it in the pile!

S2 -  Two years ago?  You must mean a million years ago....

S1 - Close enough!  See what we called the list.....

          (They read together)


S2 - Wow!  Isn't that supposed to be the 10 Commandments?

S1 -  No, you silly thing......this is the list we made after mama fell getting the mail! When we saw something on Dr. Oz and realized we were woefully unprepared for .....

S2 -  I remember!  It's all the things we need to do to prepare for what to do ...(slowly) case.....

S1 -  In case someone is sick.....we need updated medical records and meds lists!

S2 -  In case someone is moving.....

S1 - In case......there's an....

        (They lean over together conspiratorially)

S1 and S2 -  An emergency!

S1  - That's why we called it the 'God Forbid' list....

S2 -  In case someone falls down.....

S1 and S2 - (Together)  God forbid!

S1 -  In case there's some horrible hurricane.....

S2 - With flooding!

S1 - And no electricity!

S2 -  Or a fire!

S1 and S2 -  God forbid!

S2 -  Or if......(hushed)  someone......

S1 -  (Loud)  Don't say it!

S2 - (Quickly)  If someone dies!

S1 and S2 -  GOD FORBID!

         (They hug each other)

S2 - But look at the list...exactly...out of the whole many of these things did we actually do?

         (They examine the list carefully and start laughing)

S1 -  Not wills done yet!

S2  -  And certainly no emergency preparations!  Wait, I think....I think we did two things!

S1 -  (Surprised)  Really?  (Doubtful)  Which ones?

S2 -  Number 2 -  MAKE A LIST!

S1  -  You're right....and here's another.......Send List to Each Other!  We did that, too!

S2 -  Two out of.....(counts) 37!

S1 -  That's definitely a percentage...or is it a fraction?

S2 -'s definitely a percentage or a fraction......and we can also say a big thank you, because none of the horrible things happened......

S1  -  That's the best part......And we wish it for all of you in Senior Channel Land!  A God Forbid List that never needs to be done!

        (They turn to leave, stop, look back)

S2 -  Is this our last show?

S1 and S2 -  GOD FORBID!

        (They laugh and exit - may you have no need to catch up on your God Forbid list!)

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315      
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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