Monologue Mania: 2016

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #1053 Daily Dilemma (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 31, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today! *********
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1030!

Get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #1053 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 31, 2016

The last day of the year - a Happy Healthy New Year for all my readers!

The Daily Dilemma
(For Caregivers Anonymous)
(Not) A monologue by

(Jeannie is explaining how the group works)

JEANNIE - So you see, we have a lot of people taking care of a lot of people! The way this meeting
works,we have announcements… one of our most popular parts of the evening.....also known as…..the Daily Dilemma! then we talk…about anything we want to……and it’s anonymous– what we say here….stays here! So, what's your biggest gripe THIS week? Come on, I know everyon has at least one....

MARIA - The doctor made us wait for an extra hour and a half and then spent only five minutes with us!

CLARK - And because you were mad you forgot half the things you were going to ask!

FLORENCE - What about the price of pills that just went up!

MATTIE - But not the minimum wage!

JEANNIE - Or what about the ever favorite complaint - NO APPRECIATION! Even if your

patient thanks you, it seems sometimes like it's never enough, and if they don't have the wisdom to constantly say 'THANK YOU' then we can all be huffy in silent - or in many cases - NOT so silent sulkiness!

But wait.......there's always the number one on our hit list, or is it SHIT list! We are

tired!

(The others laugh and moan)

How tired are we? We're so tired that. we can't remember what day it is........we are so exhausted that we forget why we go into a room........we're so tired.......we can't remember when we weren't tired!

So what do we do to fight this! How do we make time for ourselves? And taping our patient to a toilet is not a rational solution!

(End of this section - but not of all the daily dilemmas!)

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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Friday, December 30, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #1052 Penultimate by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #1052 Penultimate by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30, 2016

This is for those readers who do not want last year's WELL-RECEIVED monologue for this date because they are gambling this will be better.....hope it is! (The monologue from last year will be tomorrow)

Penultimate
a monologue by

(Actress enters with book.)

A dictionary. Out of date. This is...out of date.

(Waves the dictionary)

But, like Shakespeare, it hangs in there. And all the words......they still count......such wonderful words! Egregious....which has nothing to do with eggs.....and catatonic, which is not what felines drink........but they all pale next to my favorite. (Says it with glee) PEE - nultimate!

Go ahead, giggle. PEE - nultimate. Which has nothing to do with......urine!

Penultimate means ....almost the last. Next to last. That was me. I was the fourth out of five kids. Not young enough to be the baby, but just the right age to be forgotten. Ignored.

My folks divorced when I was seven, and where there had been money. Now, no money. But we still lived in our big house, even though the heat was turned off every other month. Restarted when my mother screamed at my father. And by the time I was nine, I had outgrown my winter coat, and my mother took my older brother's hideous puke green coat and put edging on it to make it look like it was a girl's coat.

(Shudders)

I still have nightmares about what the other girls would say......not nice. Not nice at all.

Then....my teacher gave me a present. A dictionary. She told me that all the words in there were gifts... for everyone. So I started studying them, because I figured... if I knew more words, then I had more gifts, even if I had a horrible ugly coat. I would stay after that class to talk with the teacher, and she helped me learn how to describe the girls who bothered me. Spiteful. Malicious. Vicious. Misanthropic.

And I would tell her about my family, and she would give me words to help with that, too. Then I told her I was almost the last, and I heard my teacher say I was the PEE-nultimate.....and I fell in love with that word!.....it sounded like candy for my ears!.....and just the way love changes everything, things started to change for me.....

Until then, I had no place. But now....now I was .....important. I was the penultimate. Almost last. Not the final bite which can be all dry, I was the bite with a taste in it. Right before the edge of the burger, but not the end, with no more meat in it! I was the PEE -nultimate!

I started to stand up for myself more. I told my father I wanted a new coat, and showed him my old coat and I think I almost saw him start to cry before he turned away, Then he turned back, took my hand and we went shopping for a coat....the most beautiful coat in the world!

(She twirls)

It was wool, and very warm and it had a fur collar! And it was the color of wine! And suddenly, even though nothing was ever said, my mother suddenly had more money, and even though they didn't get back together, somehow things were never so bad again.

So, I offer this old book to you, with all the old words, and some new on this PEE - nultimate day of the year.

And I have to get going now. You see, I took all those words and became an editor, and made enough money so that every year, on the penultimate day of the year, I go to the homeless shelter and hand out new coats to the children.......

(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And a dictionary......which always lasts longer than the coats.......

(Exits to the last day of the year)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #1051 The Next Day (For Debbie) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 29, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #1051 The Next Day (For Debbie) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 29, 2016

There are two today -1050 - For Carrie-
and 1051 - For Debbie -
because the world lost two great talents, and they will be missed.....

The Next Day

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A movie star, older, but still with great presence, enters with a flourish. Could it be? Yes, it is! Debbie Reynolds! And she is dressed to the hilt, and she sweeps over the stage, reigning like a queen. During her bows another woman comes onstage, obviously amazed. Is it....really? Oh, yeah, Carrie Fisher - and she is stunned)

CARRIE - Mom! Is that you?

DEBBIE - Who else darling? Do I know how to make an entrance or what?

CARRIE - What are you doing here?

DEBBIE - In all your obituaries they said you were very smart, so you must know the answer to your question is....I'm here because I, too, am dead.

CARRIE - Of course I know you're dead!

DEBBIE - Then why did you ask?

CARRIE - I can't believe it! You cannot even let me have 24 hours of my own death! You are trying to get my publicity!

DEBBIE - (Laughing) Still jealous after all these years!

CARRIE - I am not jealous....well, maybe a little, but that is not the issue!

The issue is.....how could you do this to me?

DEBBIE - To you? I did this to YOU? May I please remind you....YOU died first! And I was there when you did!

CARRIE - Yes, that was nice...thank you...

DEBBIE - You're welcome! And for some reason, I suppose being (mumbles) ...something-four years old....

CARRIE - Eighty-four! You are eighty-four years old, Mom!

DEBBIE - I am sure they know how old I am up here, but there is certainly no need to shout!

CARRIE - Sorry...

DEBBIE - And it was not so easy, I mean, WATCHING YOUR FAVORITE CHILD DIE!

CARRIE - What did you say?

DEBBIE - You heard me....

CARRIE - Mom, that means a lot to me....

DEBBIE - I should hope so.....what if your siblings see this sketch? It will not be easy when they get here!

CARRIE - Don't worry so much about them!

DEBBIE - Easy for you to say, you only had one.....

CARRIE - Wait a minute.....if one of them had died first and you met up here, would you tell them THEY were the favorite?

DEBBIE - (Doesn't want to answer this) A better question would be......where is everyone? I thought heaven was where you got to meet all the old relatives, and have one big party.....it would appear you are the only one here.....

(They both look around)

CARRIE - So......what you are saying is.....no.....I wasn't that bad......was I?

DEBBIE - Well, I certainly wasn't!

CARRIE - Hmmm......

DEBBIE - (Getting worried) Now wait a minute, don't you start your crazy imagining up here!

CARRIE - Are you sure it's UP?

DEBBIE - Stop that! I had a good life! I was a good person! Millions of people love me!

CARRIE - (Under her breath) Millions loved Hitler.....

DEBBIE - What did you say?

CARRIE - I said millions loved your hotel shows....

DEBBIE - (Shaking her head) Incredible! I can hear you perfectly and I know you insulted me! Have you no shame? Have you no decency ? Have you no......respect?

CARRIE - What I have is no body! And I am still furious that you think you could horn in on my death! How dare you? I die and you just couldn't handle the fact that I was getting all the attention! So what do you do? YOU DIE, too! Couldn't you just let me have my moment in the sun? COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME DIE IN PEACE?

DEBBIE - Now that's a good line, better write that one down before you forget it....

CARRIE - I would, but I can't seem to find a phone or any computers.....

DEBBIE - (Waving this away) You young people, you forget....you could use a pen!

(She pulls a pen from her hair and hands it over)

CARRIE - I don't suppose you have any paper in there....

DEBBIE - Hold on......

(From a pocket, she pulls a pad)

CARRIE - Oh, mom, I can always depend on you!

DEBBIE - Of course you could, dear. Always.....

(She holds out her hand and Carrie takes it)

CARRIE - So I guess this is....always.....

(They hug)

DEBBIE - Enough! Time to look around, see what we're up against....wherever we are........

(They turn to leave, then Carrie stops, looks back)

CARRIE - (Impressed) You just never give up, do you?

DEBBIE - Of course I give up, I just gave up the ghost, didn't I?

(Carrie laughs as they exit, and we hear Debbie ...'you could write down my funny lines, too....after all, it is my pad')

No end to mothers and daughters....Carrie, Debbie, may you rest in peace - we will miss you both!

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Monologue Mania Day #1050 For Carrie by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 28, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #1050 For Carrie by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 28, 2016

For Carrie

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(The actor enters, with a black armband - for those aware, yes, it is the writer!)

I am saddened by Carrie Fisher's death.

For a few reasons. She was actually younger than I am - 60 to my now just 61.

She was a part of my youth - Star Wars. Never my favorite movie, but a good one, and I thought she was a funny lady. With a lot of life and now that is gone.

Of course, she will never be gone to the world as long as video exists. She will always be Princess Leia to most, but to me, I loved her in other films, especially WHEN HARRY MET SALLY.

Whatever role she was in, she was perfect for - and because I know actors, I know that was not a mistake or luck, but a lot of very hard work.

But the main reason I am sad is because......we were related. My mother's sister, my Aunt Miriam, was married to my Uncle Henry (may they both rest in peace) and my Uncle Henry had a brother, Art Cohn, who was killed in a plane crash with Mike Todd, the producer, who was married to Elizabeth Taylor, who, after Mike Todd, was married to Eddie Fisher who was married to Debbie Reynolds......who were the parents of .......Carrie Fisher.....so you can see ...we were just like family!

May she rest in peace, my distant, related by......something or other......good night, sweet Princess....

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Monologue Mania Day #1049 How to Curry Peace (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 27, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!

If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site. Wishing you much success!
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Monologue Mania Day #1049 How to Curry Peace (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 27, 2016

For the upcoming New Year, a gastronomical way to cook up some peace!

How to Curry Peace

tigerteam1@gmail.com

         (The chef's hat is tilted at a perfect angle, the man wearing it is immaculate and smiling broadly as he comes onstage waving at the crowd. He is holding a large bag stuffed with items, has a strong Indian accent)

Oh, hello, everyone, hello! Hello to everyone on this Senior Channel! I am so happy to be here! For those who do not know me, I am Raja Singh, the Indian King .....of Curry, as many of you know me from my internationally syndicated show about food from India!

        (The crowd cheers, he smiles and acknowledges them)

Oh, thank you, thank you! You are so kind! I am so very excited to come and bring some of my food, and ideas......and a joke, I always bring a joke about food......what did the potato say when it answered the phone?

         (He puts his hand to his ear)

Aaloo?

Get it? In Hindi, the word for potato is 'aaloo'! Very funny! Maybe it helps to know Hindi....but if you watch my show, I have many funny jokes about food, and lots of different foods, but there is an important reason I am called....the King of Curry!

         (He takes items out of the bag and sets them on a table, arranging as he speaks)

Curry is an amazing food. It is different every time......like people. Each curry has its own flavor, its own story......its own life. You can make curry out of many different foods, foods that you may think do not go together well. That is what I teach on my show.......Now, I have been watching your channel and have seen that many people have ideas about peace, one lady wants to use iphones, my opinion, they do not taste good! Another man has an item from the bathroom - that was a little scary. But here is my idea.....

          (He holds up an onion and an orange)

Do you see these two foods? They can be terrible enemies! Look.....

          (He bashes the onion and orange together)

(Voice of orange) You smell bad!

(Voice of onion) You are loud color, you want everyone to look at you!

          (He smashes them together again)

(Orange) You are flaky!

(Onion) When you mold, you are green and powdery!

(He really starts to get into it)

(Orange) You took my parking space!

(Onion) Your car is too big, makes me cough!

           (He gets more violent)

(Orange) You look at my daughter and ask her out on date! I will never let her go out with you!

(Onion) Your daughter is as stuck up as you are!

            (He hits them, sees they are dripping, stops)

Do you see how this happens between foods, just like people......but there is a solution, and I now will show you my plan ......

            (He holds up a sealed traveling bowl, removes the lid)

This, my friends......is my...... curry of peace!

            (He smells it, smiles)

So delicious! But it needs something......let me try.....

            (He drips in some orange, tastes it with a large spoon)

Oh, my, that is much better!   And now a tiny bit of.....

            (He drops in a bit of the onion juice)

And we stir the former enemies together.....

             (He lifts the spoon to taste)

You can see, they are not fighting now! MMMMMM! And they are so delicious together! The other people.....the friends, the in-laws.......I mean the other flavors, the chicken, the coconut, the masala....all these blend so that the orange and the onion do not have to fight anymore, they are happy.....

              (He holds the onion and orange close, makes a kissing sound)

And that is how it can be done!

              (He stirs, takes another big spoonful)

That is just what it needed! Then everyone sits together, and no need to fight when it tastes so good!

              (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And that is how to curry flavor......and how to curry....... peace......

              (He exits, waving his hat. The beginning of - we hope! - a delicious future.)

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Originally posted Day #303 by Janet S. Tiger How to Curry Peace Dec. 12, 2014

For other Senior Channel monologues, please see Days # 9, 20, 22,36, 46, 49,50, 54, 57, 60,61, 65, 67, 68, 79, 86, 88, 104, 180, 195, 196,265)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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