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Monologue Mania Day #129
by Janet S. Tiger First Day of Summer (c) June 21,
2014
First Day of Summer
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) June 17, 2014 all rights
reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The man looks dirty - because he is. He has worn out shoes, a five day
stubble and is carrying a sign that says 'Help - Need Food for my Baby' as he
bounces around,)
Wow, is it gonna be a beautiful day. First day of summer......it's warm and getting warmer....
(He jumps out of the way)
Hey,
mister, watch it! You almost hit me! And you got a Mercedes and I
got a lawyer who could sue your ass off!
(Listens, flips the bird, then goes back to the next car)
Hey, mister, all I need is a few bucks, please! Come on, the light's red, you can help me, it'll make you feel better all day to help your fellow man....and it's for my baby, you know....
(He reaches out a hand, he looks at what's given to him.)
(Not very gracious) Thanks a lot.....
(He looks at the contents)
I can get a whole hot dog with this.....great.
(Sees another car, perks up)
Slow
down! It's the longest day of the year, you got plenty of time!
(Runs over, reaches out his hand.)
Thank
you!
(Looks at his hand)
A pack
of gum.....amazing...well, I can use it.....
(Takes a piece, chews big, stops to
look at another car stopping)
Whoa.........that's
a beautiful car! It's an oldie but a goodie, just like me!
(He reaches out his hand, is pleasantly surprised)
(Sincere) Thank you and God bless.....
(Listens)
I will take care.....thank you....for being so nice.....and so generous....
(He waves as the light changes)
That means only a few more bucks and I can quit for the day.....
(Looks around, taps foot, steps back as something big passes, looks up.)
Ooh,
this'll be a long light, there's a bunch of people crossing the street.....too
bad nobody's in this direction.....
(Someone stops and he holds up the sign)
Come on, man, you got a Benz....you can afford a buck....
(Jumps back)
What the......
(Looks closer)
Hey,
aren't you the guy who just gave me the finger? What'd you do, a U-turn
just to throw water at me? Jeez! How grown up can you get!
(Listens)
What'd
you say? What'd you call me? You fuckin piece of shit!
(He slams his hands on the hood)
Don't
like that, huh?
(He slams his hands again, harder this time)
You
wanna make something of it? Calling the cops, huh? Let's see how
long it takes for them to come on a big call like this!
(He now uses his hands like drumsticks)
How's
that for some good music? Come on out here and I'll drum on your damn
head!
(Drums, then stops, looks surprised)
Is that
a gun? Do I see you have a widdle bitty gun? What is that
thing? One of those girlie guns? Only fires two shots? When I
was in Iraq I had a big gun...my gun's bigger than your gun!
(Laughs, twirls and keeps drumming)
'I can't get no....satisfaction.....come on out and I'll give you some satisfaction!
(Stops, stunned, grabs his shoulder)
I can't believe it! You shot me! Right here in the street! Because you ain't a music fan! And you can’t escape because there’s cars all around you! Brilliant!
(Turns and looks)
And the cops are here! Amazing! This is my lucky day!
(He waves with the other arm)
Over
here, officer....there's been a small problem......
(He holds his shoulder starts to slip down, laughs.)
What's
so funny, man? I may be shot, but, guess what? I will get to own
your car!......
(He stumbles off, he turns and looks back)
I think
it’s gonna be a good summer!
(The end)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger
858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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