- for a whole year!
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If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
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To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
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Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day # 215 by Janet S. Tiger No Returns Sept. 15, 2014
(Note - Only 150 left to go for this year!)
No Returns
(The woman who dances onstage is happy, not particularly young anymore, nor that attractive, but she is definitely happy.)
A new bed! I can't believe I have a new bed! It's like a dream come true!
(She waves out the door)
Thank you! Thank you! I really appreciate your taking away my mom's old bed! And her other furniture! Thank you!
(She smiles and then comes back, looks around the room)
And that's not all I'm going to do! I can move this couch over here....or maybe, could I? Get a new couch?
(She hugs herself)
It's like I'm actually getting a chance to make some decisions! I can't believe I feel this good! Maybe I won't need my Prozac today!
(A phone starts ringing and she freezes, walks slowly, as if she really doesn't want to answer it.)
Ooh, I really don't know if I want to talk right now.
(The phone keeps ringing, and she walks over to it, looks at the caller ID, shudders and picks it up gingerly, listens, is relieved)
Hi, Ma, it's good to hear your voice. Well, I mean the last four calls were from your.....your helpers. About the falls and you not eating and how you got into that fight.
But when you call, I figure everything is OK......yeah, everything's great here.....yeah, really. I got a new bed.....well, the old one was like, 30 years old, so I figure it's time for a change.
(Getting excited) I got the double size! And it's just wonderful how much room I have now!
(Listens)
Yes, Ma, my old room was too small for a double so I put the new bed in your room........no, there wasn't room for your bed, too, so I had them take it away....
(She takes the phone away from her ear, someone is yelling)
Ma! Stop screaming! I'm sorry, but we talked about this......
(She takes a deep breath)
You're in a nice place, you have friends, you're safe and you have nurses around the clock, just in case......no, Ma, you can't come back to that room, Ma, you need help. I couldn't help you every night going to the bathroom three times, not and go to work! And you wouldn't use that potty next to the bed......
(Takes phone from ear)
(getting annoyed) Well, that was your choice, Ma, not mine. I was glad to take care of you for all these years, since Pa died, but I'm 61 now, the doctor said I can't lift anything over 30 pounds, and that means you, Ma, you weigh 200 pounds, and....(getting stronger) ...I'm not gonna break my back because you're ashamed to have a potty next to your bed!
I got you one with a nice cover, so you had no excuses, so now....now you have to understand......(sadder but very firm)......there's no returns here Mom......not anymore. Like at Woolworth's, after the last sale....no returns.
(She pulls the phone from her ear then hears something and listens)
Ma? Ma! Did you hang up on me? Really? After all I've done, you slammed down the phone in my ear?
(She puts the phone down, shaking her head. The phone rings again, she is reluctant to pick it up. It stops ringing. Then it starts ringing again, and she picks it up, but she is firmer now)
Ma? That wasn't very nice......what? you didn't hang up? The phone fell down because you were laughing? (Smiling) Okay, Ma, I'm sorry if I yelled, too......I'll see you tomorrow, after work....
I love you, too.
(She puts the phone down carefully.)
I do love you, Ma. I'm glad we kissed and made up......
(She turns to dance out of the room, stops looks back at the phone.)
I'm glad we kissed and made up because I know that one day, the call won't be from you.......
(She blows a kiss to the phone and exits. The end)
(Note - Only 150 left to go for this year!)
No Returns
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(The woman who dances onstage is happy, not particularly young anymore, nor that attractive, but she is definitely happy.)
A new bed! I can't believe I have a new bed! It's like a dream come true!
(She waves out the door)
Thank you! Thank you! I really appreciate your taking away my mom's old bed! And her other furniture! Thank you!
(She smiles and then comes back, looks around the room)
And that's not all I'm going to do! I can move this couch over here....or maybe, could I? Get a new couch?
(She hugs herself)
It's like I'm actually getting a chance to make some decisions! I can't believe I feel this good! Maybe I won't need my Prozac today!
(A phone starts ringing and she freezes, walks slowly, as if she really doesn't want to answer it.)
Ooh, I really don't know if I want to talk right now.
(The phone keeps ringing, and she walks over to it, looks at the caller ID, shudders and picks it up gingerly, listens, is relieved)
Hi, Ma, it's good to hear your voice. Well, I mean the last four calls were from your.....your helpers. About the falls and you not eating and how you got into that fight.
But when you call, I figure everything is OK......yeah, everything's great here.....yeah, really. I got a new bed.....well, the old one was like, 30 years old, so I figure it's time for a change.
(Getting excited) I got the double size! And it's just wonderful how much room I have now!
(Listens)
Yes, Ma, my old room was too small for a double so I put the new bed in your room........no, there wasn't room for your bed, too, so I had them take it away....
(She takes the phone away from her ear, someone is yelling)
Ma! Stop screaming! I'm sorry, but we talked about this......
(She takes a deep breath)
You're in a nice place, you have friends, you're safe and you have nurses around the clock, just in case......no, Ma, you can't come back to that room, Ma, you need help. I couldn't help you every night going to the bathroom three times, not and go to work! And you wouldn't use that potty next to the bed......
(Takes phone from ear)
(getting annoyed) Well, that was your choice, Ma, not mine. I was glad to take care of you for all these years, since Pa died, but I'm 61 now, the doctor said I can't lift anything over 30 pounds, and that means you, Ma, you weigh 200 pounds, and....(getting stronger) ...I'm not gonna break my back because you're ashamed to have a potty next to your bed!
I got you one with a nice cover, so you had no excuses, so now....now you have to understand......(sadder but very firm)......there's no returns here Mom......not anymore. Like at Woolworth's, after the last sale....no returns.
(She pulls the phone from her ear then hears something and listens)
Ma? Ma! Did you hang up on me? Really? After all I've done, you slammed down the phone in my ear?
(She puts the phone down, shaking her head. The phone rings again, she is reluctant to pick it up. It stops ringing. Then it starts ringing again, and she picks it up, but she is firmer now)
Ma? That wasn't very nice......what? you didn't hang up? The phone fell down because you were laughing? (Smiling) Okay, Ma, I'm sorry if I yelled, too......I'll see you tomorrow, after work....
I love you, too.
(She puts the phone down carefully.)
I do love you, Ma. I'm glad we kissed and made up......
(She turns to dance out of the room, stops looks back at the phone.)
I'm glad we kissed and made up because I know that one day, the call won't be from you.......
(She blows a kiss to the phone and exits. The end)
--------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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