Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 210 by Janet S. Tiger ? Sept. 10, 2014

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Monologue Mania Day # 210 by Janet S. Tiger      ?    Sept. 10, 2014
          Parental alert - rough language             
                                            ?
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com 


          (A teenage girl sulks onto the stage.  She is dressed in whatever is the most annoying to her parents.)

Yeah, doctor.  I like to lie.  So what?  What is the big deal about lying?  I mean, what is truth?  We just had some unit in my stupid history class about (imitates teacher)  'Accuracy in reporting'

(Herself again, laughs)  Like anyone gives a shit!  Oh, sorry, I forgot...can I curse in here?

          (Listens)

Good, because I really don't care what you think of my language, I just know some adults get their asses all bent out of shape when kids curse.  It's funny, these are the same adults who do all kinds of weird stuff....like this one teacher I had last year, she was all strait-laced, you know?  And then she was called out to the hall for something, and one of the guys took her phone off her desk and looked through it, and there were all these naked pictures of her with her boyfriend!  So he sent the photos to everyone on her address book!  Including us in the class!

        (Laughs)

And then when she came into class, he had like, put the phone back, so she didn't know, but in like ten seconds the principal comes running into the room and he's steaming mad and shaking the phone at her and when she sees the photo on his phone, she turns bright red!  Like the color of blood!  Whoa!  That was my favorite day in school -EVER!

       (Calms a bit, listens)

Well, that wasn't a lie, I mean, it really was my favorite day in school ever.....

       (Listens)

Oh, you mean the other stuff.

      (She walks around for a moment, touching things in the room)

Why does everyone care so much about lying....everyone does it.  You do it, too, doctor, you probably tell your wife she looks ok in those pants that make her look fat.  And you tell your kids you're listening when you're probably thinking about how you want to go play golf.....and you tell my parents that talking is going to help me, when we both know that's a super big lie.

       (She listens, then stands up straight)

So what?  So what if I go online and show guys photos of a hot girl and then I tell guys they are gonna get laid when they meet me and then I never show up?  So what!

       (She turns away.)

I couldn't help it if that guy got mad and then went nuts!  I mean that wasn't my fault!  What the hell are these stupid guys doing online?  I'm not responsible for all the assholes that go online!

        (Listens)

(Quiet)  Do I lie to myself?

Interesting question.  Which brings us back to the original question for all eternity - what is truth?

Am I truly here?  What do I honestly think of all this?  What is reality?

        (She runs a hand over one arm)

What the hell is wrong with me that I cut myself when something goes wrong......That I like to see the blood, that is doesn't even hurt when I put the blade into my skin......What the fuck is wrong with me to do that?  And will I do worse?  Would I ever cut someone else?  Or...my parents biggest worry....

         (She takes her finger and draws it across her neck)

Will I kill myself?

         (Takes a deep breath)

What do you think, doctor?

        (Looks at her watch)

Oops, times up!  Gotta go.......

         (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Why do I lie?  .....Because then nobody bothers me, that's why.....

         (She exits.  Not the end of lying)

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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