Saturday, May 31, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 108 by Janet S. Tiger The Invisible Monologue (c) May 30, 2014


Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day # 108 by Janet S. Tiger  The Invisible Monologue  (c) May 30, 2014
    

                              The Invisible Monologue
                                                by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     c) May 27, 2014     all rights reserved
                                          tigerteam1@gmail.com


                (The announcer comes onstage, waving at the audience.)

Wasn't that a fantastic act?  Please, another well-deserved round of applause for Mildred and her dancing monkey!

              (The announcer claps and encourages the audience to do the same.)

And now, for something completely different......and not Monty Python different, just plain old.....(searches for a word).......different......We proudly present......Danny Taylor performing his world famous........can we get a drum roll please?.......Danny Taylor and his..........(Loud ) .....Invisible monologue!

             (The announcer stands aside and 'watches' the monologue, starting to laugh immediately, then getting slowly more hysterical until the announcer is on the floor twirling in a circle while laughing.  Finally, the announcer gets up and indicates the 'performer')

Let's here it for the magnificent Danny!

             (The announcer wipes eyes and waves as the 'performer' leaves. )

You see why we saved the best for last!  That just gets better every time I see it!  And thank you - you've been a wonderful audience......

             (Exits, but looks back)

And you should have seen the rehearsals....they were amazing, too!  You can catch the bloopers on youtube....see you next year!

             (Exits.  The end.)






















Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, May 30, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 107 by Janet S. Tiger 1352 Sabbaths (c) May 30, 2014


Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day # 107 by Janet S. Tiger 1352 Sabbaths  (c) May 30, 2014


                                              1352 Sabbaths
                                                by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     c) May 27, 2014     all rights reserved
                                          tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (A man comes onstage.  He is young, but walks like an old man, and is wearing a yarmulke.  He carries two candlesticks that he puts onto a table.  He has a slight Polish accent.)

Welcome!  I'm so glad you could join me.

Tonight is a special night.  Tonight is the Sabbath.

Friday night, the seventh day.  God rested.

And so should we.

Twenty-six years of Sabbaths I spent in my home in Ozerov.....I was born in the middle of World War I, on Oct. 22nd, 1916, and the thirteen hundred fifty two Sabbaths I spent in Ozerov ended during World War II, when I was deported with most of the Jewish population on my 26th birthday, Oct. 22, 1942.

In the camps, I figured out that 26 years of Sabbaths was 1352 Sabbaths.  One does strange things to pass the time when you know that every minute could be your last.   I used to try to remember the Sabbaths I had spent with my family.  I had no way of recalling the earliest, but I had been told that my first Sabbath was special, that many family members had traveled far, as I was the first boy born into my father’s family in two generations.

First Sabbath.  I could remember many of the Sabbaths, the smells of the challah and the chicken cooking.  When things had gone well at the market, sometimes a roast.  But always some delicious pastry for the end of the meal.  And I could taste the love in the house.  Of course, there were the arguments, too – had we washed our hands, not to bump the table or else the wine would spill, was my sister too friendly with one of the workers in my father’s booth…….

My birthday in 1942 fell the day before Sabbath, on a Thursday.  The day we were taken away on the trains to our deaths.  Most of us.  Of the Jewish portion of Ozerov, I was one of a few dozen survivors.

We celebrated Sabbath on the train, as best we could.  A rabbi said the prayers when someone said they saw the first star through cracks in the boards.

No lighting candles, no challah, no wine…no food or water.  Just the prayers.  And yet I remember that Sabbath as clearly as if it was yesterday.

            (He takes candles from his pockets and puts them into the candlesticks.)

Usually, it is the woman of the house who lights the candles and says the prayers.  But my wife is long gone, so I do this when I am not at one of my grandchildren’s houses.  Usually I am there, but sometimes, I like to be in my own home.  They tell me that’s normal for a survivor,  even after many years of freedom, we  still crave moments of independence, of control.

            (He takes out a match and lights the candles, saying the prayer quietly.)

These candlesticks are the only thing I have left from that time.

They were buried by my mother at the grave of her grandmother, one of the few remaining Jewish cemeteries in Poland, the Sunday before we were deported.  I was with her that day, and as she covered filled the hole with dirt, she told me that one day we would come back and claim them.

After the war, I was the only surviving member of my family, and I went to the United States, not wanting to return to Ozerov to see the ghosts of my previous life.

I married, and had a family, like most of the survivors did.  And I did well for myself, in business, in family.  I was lucky.

One day, after the Communist regimes fell, I had the strangest urge to……go home.  In a strange way, where you are born will always be a home, and Ozerov was mine.  So, with you, my grandchildren, I returned.  For your friends here tonight, it must seem strange.  They have all been born and raised in this sunshine of freedom, but to return to Ozerov, that was different.  We came to the Jewish section, and, of course, there were no Jews anymore, not living ones, at least.  And we went to the cemetery.

Many of the graves had been robbed and desecrated, but not my grandmother’s.  With a small hand tool, we dug around the headstone, and…….no candlesticks.

We dug on the other side, at the foot.  No candlesticks. All these years, had I remembered it correctly?

As it was beginning to get dark, we decided, ganug, enough, and put the earth back in place.

Just as we turned to leave, a woman approached.  She was older, and we had seen her when we entered.

She greeted us oddly, as we knew by the cross around her neck that she was not Jewish.

‘Good Shabbas,’ she said, and when we looked surprised, she asked what we were doing in Ozerov.  When we told her, she explained she knew we were coming, and she wanted to be sure who we were before she spoke to us.

Then she took out a large package, wrapped in paper and string and handed it to me.

‘I saw your mother bury this many years ago,’ she told us, ‘and I knew the paper would not protect anything for long, so I dug it up to save for her.  Your mother was a good woman, she and your father were always fair to us at the market, not like some of the others, who were thieves…’

She spit at the thought.
‘So here it is, may she know that I kept these safe, hidden from the Nazis, then the crazy people after the war, then the Communists……please say a prayer for me when you light them.’

We stayed in contact with her until her death, and now that I approach my 5000th Sabbath, I say a prayer for all those who perished, and all those who survived, and those who helped.

You are probably wondering, how do I look so young, when I am almost 100 years old?  The secret is that on the Sabbath, everyone has a chance to be young, because ......although the Sabbath is the end of the week, at the end of the Sabbath, it is the beginning .....of a new week.  

Shabbat Shalom…….

            (He bows his head, turns to leave, looks back)

And many more.

            (He exits.)




Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 106 by Janet S. Tiger Locked Out (c) May 29, 2014


Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to 
http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
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Monologue Mania Day # 106 by Janet S. Tiger Into Every Life (c) May 29, 2014

                                            Locked Out
                                                by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     c) May 29, 2014     all rights reserved
                                          tigerteam1@gmail.com

        
             (An older woman comes onstage, she is waving a handful of keys on assorted rings.)

Locked Out!  Of course I know that I have been locked out ten times in the last month - for heaven's sake, I was the one locked out!

All of you think I am going senile- and maybe I am, who knows?  But I believe....

          (She leans over conspiratorilly)

............these keys are actually cursed!

I have no idea by whom, of course, but why else would they disappear?  There is no other logical explanation!

Even now, when I keep three sets outside - just in case- they still disappear.  Of course I realize that the unfortunate thing, is that when I use a set, I often forget to replace it in its hiding place outside!  This way, when I get locked out again, I go crazy looking for a set of keys that isn't there in the first place...or maybe it's in the second place......ooh, this is confusing!

          (She holds the keys up to her ears)

I was thinking of having earrings made with them - don't laugh, I've seen bigger earrings on the young people!  Maybe I'd start a new fad, who knows?  But I decided it wasn't a good idea, because if I lost the keys, my head would go with it, and losing my marbles is hard enough, what would I do if I misplaced my head?

          (Shakes her head, annoyed)

All right, I will try not to joke about it.  I realize it is rough for you to come running and make new keys every time this happens.  But at least we have keys....

           (She looks off, she is remembering)

When I was twelve, it was the middle of the depression, and my father was dead, and it was hard for my mother to get enough work as a seamstress to pay all the bills.  So....we had to move a lot, and one time, they actually locked us out.  We came back to our apartment, and all our things were on the street.  Everything.  Even my box of underwear - we didn't have dressers, it was too hard to move, so we had boxes.  the keys didn't work, and one of the neighbors told us what had happened. 

The funny thing is, I thought it was kind of fun, exciting in a way, new - but perhaps that is the difference between twelve and 86!

          (Sighs deeply)

So I suppose - in some strange way -  that is why, my dear children, I am so odd about keys.  And why I give to every charity for the homeless, and why I hope you understand that......I am ready to give up my keys. 

          (Listens, takes a deep breath)

I know you're all happy.  Now you can fight about who gets crazy old me.......this is not an easy decision, but I think, based on this last time, when I almost fell out of the window breaking into my own place, and the police had to help me when I got stuck there........it is time.

So......here they are......all of them.......

           (She drops the keys on the floor)

I only keep one key........

           (She clasps her hands over her chest)

The key to my heart - and that, one, my dear children, you already have all the copies.

         (She turns to leave, picks up the keys, looks at them, then walks off, head high.)




Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8




Monologue Mania Day #105 by Janet S. Tiger Into Every Life (c) May 28, 2014


Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e

--------------------------------------------------------------------
May 28, 2014 Day #105 by Janet S. Tiger  Into Every Life  Monologue Mania

                                          Into Every Life
                                           (from the Book of Teas)
                                              by Janet S. Tiger  
                                     (c) May 22, 2014     all rights reserved
                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (T comes out, carrying a dustpan and broom.  She is shaking her head. She still has a Southern accent, and she sweeps as she talks.)

I don't see what the big problem is with sweepin.  When you are young, sweepin can be so much fun!  I remember my mama making sweepin into a game - and I did the same with my children.  Cleanin the toilets, now that's a different kettle of fish - but the floor is one way you can see results instantly.  Many jobs do not have that advantage. 

Dishes are finished, but then, as if some God has deemed you as a modern day Sisyphus, the dishes re-appear, like magic.  But floors, you can stand back and look at them and tell people to stay off and they will listen.

Now if you are old, sweepin becomes a chore.  As so many entertainments of youth become.  But as long as I do not have to bend, I still enjoy this.  Sweepin has a rhythm, and you can think while you sweep.  Not the same as when you are cookin, where one mistake can be very painful to yourself or the people eating.

You tell me that you are upset, well, upset is normal after a big event in a life.

My Aunt Nettie put me straight about that type of thing.  It was right before you were born, dear, and there was a tornado.  Unusual for these parts, but not impossible, as I found out.  We were lucky, it just damaged the garage, but, just before the tornado, in a fit of cleaning, I had put some boxes of letters from friends and relatives into the rafters. And since the roof of the garage was damaged, a large family of unpleasant rats took up residence.  Our family cat had disappeared in the tornado, never to return.  I guess the term 'flyin' fur' would apply there.

And I did not see that the rats had decided my box of letters was a wonderful place to set up winter housekeeping.  I heard noises when I went to start the car, but thought nothing of it until one day, I saw the Daddy rat - he was a big one, and I took a rake and, using my extreme intelligence, poked up into a hole in the rafters in a misguided attempt to dislodge him and his family.

           (She uses the broom to illustrate)

The poking opened up a larger hole, and the rats - Daddy, Mama and the whole bunch of baby rats proceeded to.....fall on my head!

It's possible they were more frightened than I was, but I doubt that very strongly.  I screamed and everyone came runnin out to see what had happened now to mama.  Oooh, did they laugh!  It was so funny to see me runnin to take a shower to wash the rat pooh out of my hair1  And I was pregnant, remember, so this was yet another great tale to spread throughout the neighborhood.

And the clean-up was the best part - I had to get rid of all the rat pooh, and then the tragedy became apparent, like one of those unfolding Shakespear stories where you find out that just when things were gettin bad, they get worse.

In the dropping of the droppings, my box of letters had fallen - and it turns out rats really enjoy nesting in paper.  The letters were covered in rat pooh.

The decisions were horrifyin.  I had letters that had been peed on by filthy rats - yet how could I throw them out?  And yet what was I to do?  Save these now filthy pieces of paper?  It was a definite conundrum.

I recall sittin and just shakin my head.  My Aunt Netty had come to help with your brothers, and she saw me out there, and wanted to know (as Aunt Netty, rather breathless)  Oh, dear, what seems to be the matter?

I told her, and she said, 'well, dear, into each life, a little rat shit must fall.'  This was a surprise as I didn't know Netty could use language like that.

But Aunt Netty, everything is a mess!  Look at this place!

'As I recall,' she reminded me, 'you have survived a tornado, am I correct?'

         (She nods)

'And when you get right down to it, it's better to be sweepin up rat shit than pushin up diaries......am I right?'

She was right, and if you can remember this wisdom without bein reminded, you will go far in happiness in this life.

Now, why don't you tell me what the problem is in your life.....

         (She holds out the broom)

And we'll see how big a broom you need.

         (End of monologue)


      -------------------------------------------------------------------------  

           Note to actors-

On June 6th, there will be a meeting at Scripteasers, the longest running new-play reading group in the country (maybe the world!) of selected monologues from this first 100plus.  For more info Scripteasers.org, and to read one of these monologues that night, please contact – tigerteam1@gmail.com

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 104 by Janet S. Tiger Senior Junior High (c) May 27, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year!
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Monologue Mania Day # 104 by Janet S. Tiger Senior Junior High (c) May 27, 2014

                                   Senior Junior High
                                                by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     c) May 27, 2014     all rights reserved
                                          tigerteam1@gmail.com

            (This will be part of Donut Diaries - and will require the man to be older, but he comes out using a cell phone like he was a teenager.)

OMG!  Who does she think she is?  I mean, she is trying to make me look bad in front of my friends, and that's not right, right?

You know who I'm talking about, the new girl.  She's the one who just started coming around up here, and she is very hot......she's younger, must be only 75....and does she have money!  Oooheeee!

And the best part - no children!  She was married once, husband died, and now she has all his money....I asked her out to the local Denny's - they have a discount for AARP members, and she said 'yes'!  And we had the most fantastic time!  She likes the $4.00 special, so we got off for less than ten dollars, including tip!  And she drove!

            (He looks sadder)

But now she won't answer my texts, and I think there might be another guy, and he's from France, and I can't compete with that accent!  Do you think....I know this is a hard question to ask someone, and it's been awhile since you were going out, because I mean you've been married for like, forever, right?  I mean, 45 years is forever, don't you think?   

           (Jerks head around) 

What was that noise?  Is that her car?  She drives that fancy Lexus.......that car makes me smile to think about it.......What was I saying?

         (He takes out something from his pocket)

Whaddaya think?

          (Listens)

Okay, I knew you would have some good advice......I'll ask Wild Wanda.....no I don't call her that to her face!.....but she kisses everyone, and she must know about this stuff.....(Secretively)  .....I got it at the drugstore....

     (Listens)

Of course I'll be careful, there's a lot of diseases going around!     Yeah.....it's a big step ........

       (He starts to walk off)

I haven't done anything like this in years........(Smiling)......I want to let her kiss me on the lips.....

        (He turns back)

So.do you know if this stuff tastes good?

         (He puts some on his lips and kisses his arm as he walks off.)

Mmmmmm.....what a beauty!

         (Not the end by any means!  Just the end of the scene)


 

      

  

   


                                             

Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8














Monday, May 26, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #103 by Janet S. Tiger Memorial Day Memories (Senior Channel) (c) May 26, 2014

Monologue Mania  May 26, 2014 Day #103 Memorial Day Memories (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger   
Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day
                                                                        - for a whole year! If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here

Help  a playwright and get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this sit
e
--------------------------------------------------------------------
                                         Memorial Day Memories
                                          (for the Senior Channel)
                                                by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     (c) May 22, 2014     all rights reserved
                                              tigerteam1@gmail.com

        
                             (An older man comes onstage.  He is in uniform and marches proudly, albeit slowly, turns sharply and salutes the audience.)

The Senior Channel has allowed me to come and address you on this Memorial Day.  This is a first for the Senior Channel, as I am the first dead person who will be speaking to you.  From what I have seen on this channel, probably not the last, either!  You see, I died last week.  Today, Memorial Day, they are burying me in the local Army cemetery.....through the magic of television and these newfangled recording devices,  I have something different to say than you will probably not hear at all the parades and picnics and celebrations.

You see, I am not going to talk about all of us dead ones, although I will confess, we do appreciate hearing about ourselves.  No,  today I am here to honor those who did not die, but did give - and continue to give their lives.

When I entered the service, the man in charge of training us - Sgt. Edgar Kaminski was his name - he told us something I have never forgotten - every one in a uniform gives their life.

It was more than a little frightening to  hear that, but then he explained.

Some of us would give the rest of our lives - by being killed in battle or from the result of wounds incurred thereof.  But the rest of us - we would be giving our most precious gift, that of our time, our lives, one year, two, twenty, sixty-five - because by serving, we were giving our days, weeks, months........years .......to preserve the freedom that others had also worked to save.

If we lived through what we were about to go through, and many of  my friends did not, we were being honored on Memorial Day just as surely as all the others who did not live to see these parades and celebrations.

So, if you see a soldier in uniform today - or any day, for that matter - please tell them you appreciate their gift of their life - so that you can live your life in freedom.

They will appreciate - on that, you have my word.

                  (He salutes.  Turns to go, looks back)

At ease.....commence to hot dogs!

                   (He exits.  A big thank you to all those who have given -and continue to give - their most precious gift, their lives, so that we can have a great Memorial Day in freedom!)
      -------------------------------------------------------------------------     
           Note to actors-
On June 6th, there will be a meeting at Scripteasers, the longest running new-play reading group in the country (maybe the world!) of selected monologues from this first 100.  For more info Scripteasers.org, and to read one of these monologues that night, please contact – tigerteam1@gmail.com


Janet S. Tiger    858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8