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Monologue Mania Day # 1808-1809-1810-1811 Please! (5 minute play) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 5- 6-7-8, 2019
Please!
a play in one-act by Janet S. Tiger
(c) Jan. 2019 all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com
(c) Jan. 2019 all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com
Characters –
LIZ
-50s
ELI
(her father) - 80s
Time - before 2010
Setting - Apartment, a bachelor pad of an older man,
but with woman’s touches
Simple,
with kitchen and dining area seen, and an offstage bedroom suggested.
(We
hear birthday party sounds, and a very loud
‘l’chaim’. The party sounds fade
out to quiet as lights come up to daytime and we see Liz coming, sighing heavily
as she puts the key into the door, enters the apartment, looks around.
Shaking her head, she takes a deep breath as she goes into
the other room, comes back out, still shaking her head, looking up.)
LIZ - Well, God, maybe you can
help me out here. I thought I would cry,
but I guess,
since I knew, maybe the tears are just waiting.
Whoa. I never thought it would be like this. A donation to the
medical school, like some ….books we don’t want anymore…….But that’s what he
wanted……..No shiva. He said a memorial service was ok, so…..I
guess, that’s next……Whoa…..All these years. With Mom it was
different. In the hospital. Everyone taking care of things.....The
Rabbi visiting…..Everyone bringing food for a week….But this. ....how did he
get me to agree to do this.....
(As she sits there, still shaking her head, Eli enters. He is
dressed in a suit and tie
and
he
stands
and looks at her for a minute.)
ELI - You look a little upset,
maybe you should have a glass of water.....You can wait a
few
minutes to make the phone calls....
(She
looks up and her mouth drops open, she shakes her head)
ELI – By the way, that was a great
party – and you were right. It was a
good idea to wait
for a few days after….. who wants to die on their birthday!
(She
shakes her head again.)
LIZ - Now I've really lost
it!
(She runs into bedroom comes out, he is still there)
ELI - We need to talk about a couple
of......
LIZ - What's going on? I
mean.....your body is in there….and it’s…cold and……
ELI -Will
you let me finish?
LIZ - You are finished! Oh, my
God, I'm talking to myself.
ELI - Yes and no.
LIZ - Well, that's helpful!
ELI - And that's my girl!
(Liz goes
into bedroom, comes out again, goes back into bedroom)
LIZ – I get it, I’m in shock, I'm
hallucinating.
ELI - No, you're
not.
LIZ - But you're......well, if
you're not finished, then I guess I'm going to be haunted!
ELI - Now you're just
being silly - I came to make sure you get this right, because a mistake
now, there could be trouble, and I don't want trouble for you.
LIZ - Amazing! Even now you're
telling me what to do!
ELI - This is a difficult
time - I'm just offering a little help.
LIZ - Help? (Laughs)
You're gonna help me!
ELI - That's the plan.....
LIZ - What plan?
ELI -
Exactly! Get the list! Follow
the list!
LIZ - Hold on, I think I
remember.......What do I do? Oh, wait..... I need to call 911....
ELI - No you
don't.....here…it’s the cremation place……remember…..
LIZ - (Thinks)......you're
right, I don't need the funeral home...but ....maybe we should reconsider donating the
body......even though it’s a reform rabbi….
ELI -(Getting angry) You
can't do that! Remember? They do an autopsy! That's why I
went to the doctor last week - no autopsy! There is no
autopsy at my age if there was just a doctor visit! No
autopsy! Because they might figure out I have 100 pills in me! As
for the rabbi, at least when your mother died, I knew the rabbi, but this one….he’s
a pisher!...has he even had a Bar Mitzvah yet? .. and who needs a shiva? everyone else is on a diet…..and I certainly can’t eat anything!.... let’s just
follow the plan……You have to hold it together and follow the
plan! Where's the list?
LIZ - Here......
(Opens her purse, takes out list, can't look at it)
ELI - Go ahead,
read it….
LIZ - (Sighs) If I find
you....unresponsive, check pulse, if you are cold.....and you are....
(Runs
to other room, runs back)
LIZ - You are cold!
(Goes
to touch him, can't)
LIZ - But you...you're ...
ELI - I'm not
cold, not hot......Nothing, I'm nothing. Just a memory.
LIZ - Only you're
talking Somehow, even in death, you are still talking....
ELI - You
think memories don't talk? Guess again!
I'm gonna be with you forever.
LIZ - So, there's no escape.
ELI - Just like in that
stupid play you took me to - No
Exit....shoulda been called ‘No End to thisPlay’ because it went on forever! - well, maybe it
had something. All I know is, whenever you need me, I'll be
there...just like that song about the rat... (sings) I'll be
there.....I'll be there!
LIZ - Could you please stop
comparing this!
ELI - Ok, you
got me, this is an incomparable moment.....just want to remember it.
LIZ - Oh, no chance of forgetting
this! I will try ......but I doubt I ever can!
ELI - And when you
go.....and please, don't give me all the stuff about living forever, because you will be crossing the bridge sometime, my dear
daughter, no, when you go, at least I gave you a way to deal with your kids,
when the time comes......
LIZ - When the time comes.....
ELI - And now, it's time.....for
me......
LIZ - For what? Do you do
a magic trick now? Like walk through the wall?
ELI - You know what I mean.....it's
time to......
(She
looks at the list, starts to cry, grabs handful of Kleenex)
LIZ - Ok, I'll call!
ELI - Even now, at the
end, you still can't let me finish?
LIZ - And even now, after all we've
been through, you can't give me a tiny modicum of politeness?
(They both laugh)
ELI - Will you let me
finish……please?
(She looks at him, sighs and is very affected)
LIZ - Can I hug you?
(He looks at her and she goes to pick up the phone)
LIZ –This is so hard to
say……(sighs)…… Bye Daddy.
ELI - How
about......until we meet again?
LIZ - (Sighs) Until we
meet again.
(While she looks at the list and punches in the numbers, he
comes behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, kisses her hair. She
shivers a bit, and he pulls away)
LIZ - Hello? Yes, my
father has......oh, this is harder to say than I thought it would be....
(He turns to exit. She watches him walk away -
if it can be done, it should look like he walks through the wall - this can be
done with lighting and projected wall)
LIZ - My father is
...gone.....
(She
listens, gets annoyed)
LIZ - (suddenly)
No! He didn't run away! He died! He's cold and kind of blue
and......
(From the
other side we hear laughter and then)
ELI - And now, I'm
finished.......
(The
end…. for now)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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