Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Monologue Mania Day # 1808-1809-1810-1811 Please! (5 minute play) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 5- 6-7-8, 2019

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Today is Day # 1803    To look at the other titles - click here

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Monologue Mania Day #  1808-1809-1810-1811  Please! (5 minute play) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Feb. 5- 6-7-8, 2019
           
                                        Please!
                                 a play in one-act by Janet S. Tiger 
                          (c) Jan. 2019   all rights reserved                                                                         tigerteam1@gmail.com


Characters –
LIZ  -50s
ELI (her father) - 80s

Time -  before 2010

Setting -  Apartment, a bachelor pad of an older man, but with woman’s touches
          Simple, with kitchen and dining area seen, and an offstage bedroom suggested. 


(We hear birthday party sounds, and a very loud  ‘l’chaim’.   The party sounds fade out to quiet as lights come up to daytime and we see Liz coming, sighing heavily as she puts the key into the door, enters the apartment, looks around.

Shaking her head, she takes a deep breath as she goes into the other room, comes back out, still shaking her head, looking up.)

LIZ -  Well, God, maybe you can help me out here.  I thought I would cry, but I guess,
since I knew, maybe the tears are just waiting.  Whoa.  I never thought it would be like this.  A donation to the medical school, like some ….books we don’t want anymore…….But that’s what he wanted……..No shiva.   He said a memorial service was ok, so…..I guess, that’s next……Whoa…..All these years.  With Mom it was different.  In the hospital.  Everyone taking care of things.....The Rabbi visiting…..Everyone bringing food for a week….But this. ....how did he get me to agree to do this.....

         (As she sits there, still shaking her head, Eli enters.  He is dressed in a suit and tie
and he
stands and looks at her for a minute.)

ELI -  You look a little upset, maybe you should have a glass of water.....You can wait a
few minutes to make the phone calls....

        (She looks up and her mouth drops open, she shakes her head)

ELI – By the way, that was a great party – and you were right.  It was a good idea to wait for a few days after….. who wants to die on their birthday!

(She shakes her head again.)

LIZ -  Now I've really lost it! 

         (She runs into bedroom comes out, he is still there)

ELI - We need to talk about a couple of......

LIZ -  What's going on?  I mean.....your body is in there….and it’s…cold and……

ELI   -Will you let me finish?

LIZ - You are finished!  Oh, my God, I'm talking to myself.

ELI - Yes and no.

LIZ  - Well, that's helpful!

ELI  - And that's my girl!

       (Liz goes into bedroom, comes out again, goes back into bedroom)

LIZ – I get it, I’m in shock, I'm hallucinating.

ELI  - No, you're not.  

LIZ -  But you're......well, if you're not finished, then I guess I'm going to be haunted!

ELI  - Now you're just being silly - I came to make sure you get this right, because a mistake now, there could be trouble, and I don't want trouble for you.

LIZ - Amazing!  Even now you're telling me what to do!

ELI  - This is a difficult time - I'm just offering a little help.

LIZ - Help?  (Laughs)  You're gonna help me!  

ELI -  That's the plan.....

LIZ -  What plan?

ELI   - Exactly!  Get the list!  Follow the list!

LIZ -  Hold on, I think I remember.......What do I do?  Oh, wait..... I need to call 911....

ELI  -  No you don't.....here…it’s the cremation place……remember…..

LIZ -  (Thinks)......you're right, I don't need the funeral home...but ....maybe we should reconsider donating the body......even though it’s a reform rabbi….

ELI  -(Getting angry)  You can't do that!  Remember?  They do an autopsy!                 That's why I
went to the doctor last week - no autopsy!  There is no autopsy at my age if there was just a doctor visit!   No autopsy!  Because they might figure out I have 100 pills in me! As for the rabbi, at least when your mother died, I knew the rabbi, but this one….he’s a pisher!...has he even had a Bar Mitzvah yet? .. and who needs a shiva?  everyone else is on a diet…..and  I  certainly can’t eat anything!.... let’s just follow the plan……You have to hold it together and follow the plan!  Where's the list?

LIZ -  Here......

           (Opens her purse, takes out list, can't look at it)

ELI   - Go ahead, read it….

LIZ -  (Sighs)  If I find you....unresponsive, check pulse, if you are cold.....and you are....

(Runs to other room, runs back)

LIZ - You are cold!

           (Goes to touch him, can't)

LIZ -  But you...you're ...

ELI   -  I'm not cold, not hot......Nothing, I'm nothing.  Just a memory.

LIZ -  Only you're talking  Somehow, even in death, you are still talking....

ELI   -  You think memories don't talk?  Guess again!
         I'm gonna be with you forever.

LIZ -  So, there's no escape.

ELI  - Just like in that stupid play you took me to - No Exit....shoulda been called ‘No End to thisPlay’  because it went on forever! - well, maybe it had something.   All I know is, whenever you need me, I'll be there...just like that song about the rat... (sings)  I'll be there.....I'll be there!

LIZ - Could you please stop comparing this! 

ELI  - Ok, you got me, this is an incomparable moment.....just want to  remember it.

LIZ - Oh, no chance of forgetting this!  I will try ......but I doubt I ever can!


ELI  - And when you go.....and please, don't give me all the stuff about living forever, because you will be crossing the bridge sometime, my dear daughter, no, when you go, at least I gave you a way to deal with your kids, when the time comes......

LIZ - When the time comes.....

ELI - And now, it's time.....for me......

LIZ - For what?  Do you do a magic trick now?  Like walk through the wall?

ELI - You know what I mean.....it's time to......

        (She looks at the list, starts to cry, grabs handful of Kleenex)

LIZ - Ok, I'll call!

ELI  - Even now, at the end, you still can't let me finish?

LIZ - And even now, after all we've been through, you can't give me a tiny modicum of politeness?

           (They both laugh)

ELI -  Will you let me finish……please? 

         (She looks at him, sighs and is very affected)

LIZ - Can I hug you?

          (He looks at her and she goes to pick up the phone)

LIZ –This is so hard to say……(sighs)…… Bye Daddy.

ELI  - How about......until we meet again?

LIZ - (Sighs)  Until we meet again.

(While she looks at the list and punches in the numbers, he comes behind her, put his hands on her shoulders, kisses her hair.  She shivers a bit, and he pulls away)

LIZ - Hello?  Yes, my father has......oh, this is harder to say than I thought it would be....

(He turns to exit.  She watches him walk away  - if it can be done, it should look like he walks through the wall - this can be done with lighting and projected wall)

LIZ -  My father is ...gone.....

        (She listens, gets annoyed)

LIZ - (suddenly)  No!  He didn't run away!  He died!  He's cold and kind of blue and......

       (From the other side we hear laughter and then)

ELI   - And now, I'm finished.......

        (The end…. for now)




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Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8      



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