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Monologue Mania Day # 1819-1820-1821 Is It In Yet? (one-act) by Janet S. Tiger (c) for Feb. 17-18-19, 2019
Catching up - today will be for Feb. 17-18-19, 2019 ....I will catch up, all I need is a little time......This is going to be part of Senior Channel now
Catching up - today will be for Feb. 17-18-19, 2019 ....I will catch up, all I need is a little time......This is going to be part of Senior Channel now
Is It In Yet?
(For Senior Channel)
by
Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 6, 2011 all rights reserved
Tigerteam1@gmail.com 858-736-6315
(We hear an
older couple, but do not see them.)
HIM – MMMM…
HER – Does that feel good?
HIM - (Moans) Oh, my God. I don’t know if I remember
how to do this
HER – Don’t worry, you’ll remember. It's not THAT
complicated.
HIM – Speak for yourself! What did the doctor say
again?
HER – That doesn’t matter – we can figure it out!
HIM – (Howls) But it hurts! Oh, my God!
HER – Let me help…
(We hear
groaning and moaning)
HIM – Is it in yet?
HER – I don’t think so.
HIM - I don't think you're doing it right.
HER - (Getting exasperated) Look who's talking!
HIM – Maybe a mirror would help....
HER- (Doubtful) Maybe.....
HIM – You’re gonna have to use your fingers to get it in…
HER - (Annoyed) I’m trying! Wait…what was
that noise?
HIM – It sounded like a pop…
HER - That’s what it’s supposed to sound like,
remember?
HIM - I don’t remember that.
HER – It was just three hours ago….
HIM – It seems like forever! And that doctor doesn’t
know what he’s talking about, he’s too
young to understand…giving advice….it’s not HIS bod….
young to understand…giving advice….it’s not HIS bod….
HER - Just focus, we’re almost done!
HIM – How can you tell?
HER – I remember some things! Does it feel good
like this?
HIM – I think so.
HER – Good! It feels okay to me, too….
HIM - Whoa.....that's much better....use more of that
cream....
HER - Here it is....
HIM - Take it out! It's not right...
HER - Almost....have a little patience........there!
HIM -Oh, my God!
(They are
now seen, a little sweaty and disheveled but they are smiling.)
HIM - (Shakes his head) Boy, that was
scary. I didn't think I could do it....
HER – (Concerned) But it’s okay, nothing hurts, does
it? Everything’s ok…
HIM - Until we have to do it again! I am not
looking forward to that!
HER –There's no rush, and don't worry, it gets easier.
HIM – (Worried) Do you think anyone will say something at
the dining room…. Do you think they’ll….know?
HER – And what if they do?
HIM – You have a point….so let’s show off a little!
(They comb
hair, smiling at each other, then put on their coats. She hugs him from behind.)
HIM - That wasn’t so bad after all.
HER – I told you, it’s just like everything else, the first
time is a little… nerve-wracking, but once
you get used to it, it’s even a little fun.
(He turns
to look at her, smiling broadly. She is glowing. Now she takes his
face and turns it towards her.)
HER - Amazing. It was worth every penny.
(She kisses
him, then stares intently at his teeth.)
HER - They do look fantastic.
HIM - Thank you dear, and thank you for helping me put
in...... my first pair of dentures....
(She kisses
him on the cheek and they start to leave.)
HER - (Glowing) It was my pleasure.
(Blackout. The end)
-------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.PlaysByJanetSTiger.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
1 comment:
Funny!
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