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Monologue Mania Day # 1795 Aged Out by Janet S. Tiger (c) Jan. 23, 2019
AGED OUT
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger
(c) January 10, 2019 all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com
(c) January 10, 2019 all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com
(This is an older Japanese actor, but he stands tall and walks smoothly, he is holding a magazine article)
See, it says right here – diversity. Everyone wants diversity. Ha! When they say age diversity, they mean any age, as long as they look like a baby!
(Listens)
Ok, here’s my diversity story, and you as an actor will understand.
So, I am Japanese, you know, that rules me out of 99.5% of all the roles. But on one count, I get knocked out of 100% of all the roles! You don’t know, you’re still young, but when you’re old, hey, you are out!
You know how old I am? Yeah, 78 is what I tell them, but I’m thinking of moving it back to 74.
(Listens)
How old am I really? You can keep a secret, right? I am really 84!
(Smiling)
You never thought it, did you? That was real surprise, not just acting! I can tell. Have a lot of practice with doctors when they first look at the medical reports. First look is the truth. If they smile in their eyes, everything is ok. If the pupils dilate, then they smile that big fake smile, whoa, you got trouble!
(Quickly) No, I’m fine! And if I was sick, would I tell anyone? That’s their biggest complaint, old people will get sick on opening night. How many times does that happen……okay, maybe that big lady with the heart condition when they did Our Town….(listens) Okay, back to my favorite audition.
So, I hear about this incredible part for….(remembering, quoting) ‘Japanese man, 70s, in an internment camp’ Wow! A part made for me! I was born in one of those camps! And I had been watching this playwright, he’s good, I know it’s gotta be a good play!
So I go and get my hair colored, and I have them leave in a couple of streaks of gray– and I stand up straight and I walk in and I aced it! The people listening applauded! You know what that’s like! It was fantastic! I know I got the part! Only two other people tried out – both babies! And one was a white baby!
(Shakes his head)
And then they give the part to……one of the babies! A man who is 39!
Can you believe it? 39! And I know he is really 41, but he lies to get parts! (Very upset) You can’t win! I can’t win! And get this, he won BEST ACTOR in a our local critics awards!
(Laughs, shakes head, calms a bit, turns to leave, stops, looks back)
The best part was, the reason they didn’t pick me....they told me…..…..’I looked too young for the part!’
(Exits laughing and continuing to hope for age diversity!)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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