Monday, August 11, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 180 by Janet S. Tiger The Fallen Aug.11, 2014


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Monologue Mania Day # 180    by Janet S. Tiger  The Fallen  Aug.11, 2014
                   
Note - Robin Williams died today- he  was a great comic and dramatic actor -may he rest in peace..  Nanoo nanoo!
                                               
                                                            The Fallen
                                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com        


              (An older gentleman comes onstage, he is waving at the crowd, then he trips and falls - a very big fall, and he gets up quickly.)

I'm all right!  Don't worry!  No problems!  I'll call my attorney later!  Seriously, this chance to talk to everyone on the Senior Channel is wonderful.....and I won't sue!  That's a promise!

I'm here to talk about something everyone is afraid of, getting cheated.  Scams.  People who are out to put one over on you.  How do I know so much?  Because I am one of those people!

Let me tell you about myself.  People always ask what I do, and I tell them the truth.  I'm in the insurance business.

That usually finishes all questions!  But most think I work for a company - that's not accurate - turns out, the company works for me.

No, I don't own a company......but they do pay me.  In fact, many of them have paid me...off.

That's right, I am.....a faller.  One of the fallen few.....I make my living by....falling.

And it's a family tradition, too, my mother taught me everything I know.

After my father left, things were pretty tough.  It was just before World War II, and I was only about six, but I knew things had gotten.....let's say, difficult for my mother.

I heard her talking to a man about an insurance policy, and even though I had no idea what she was talking about, there was something in the tone of her voice I didn't like at all.

So I decided that, instead of playing with my friends whenever I could, I was gonna keep an eye on her.  I would follow her around, and now I know what she was doing - scouting it out.  The perfect time to step in front of a car or bus.  She studied the lights.....I saw her practicing stepping off just as the red went to green...it was very scary.....and then one day, she told me if anything happened to her, I was to go stay with Uncle Barry and Aunt Sylvia.......and I didn't even know who they were!

So the big day dawned, and my mother hugged me extra hard when she left to go 'look for work' was the way she put it.  'have fun, and don't play in the street.'

I hugged her back and told her I wouldn't play in the street -  which for that day was the truth.

She left, looking at me in a very strange way, and after the door closed I raced to follow her like a spy in one of the movies I would sneak into.

She walked over to one of the busiest streets, and she waited, and I waited.  Then I saw it, a bus.  A city bus.  Big and scary, and she watched the lights and I watched her.....just as the bus approached, the light changed to red for the bus....and green for my mother!

She stepped off right in the path of the bus..... and I ran towards her, screaming.....

         (He runs, yelling waving wildly)

Momma, momma, watch out!

         (He stops, horrified)

She heard and....she turned to look at me......

         (Throws up his hands)

Momma!

         (Breathing hard)

And when she turned, the bus hit her......but just knocked her to the curb!  She was bleeding and battered and people ran to help and the bus driver was really upset and it was the most frightening moment in my entire life up to that point!

       (He sits down, as if on a curb)

And she was.....hurt, but still alive.  Two broken ribs, all her clothing ruined...... And ....the insurance company for the bus paid us $25,000, which, in those days, was a lot of money.

More money than the life insurance policy.   Also, you can only die once, but you can fall a million times!

So a family dynasty was born.......when that money ran out in a few years, my mother had another accident, this time in Macy's......and that money got me through college......where I studied anatomy, and took gymnastics, so I learned how to fall, and that got me out of the military, and my first car.

As I got better at falling, I was able to really do some damage.....to the insurance companies.

But then....I really fell.  Not on cement....but in love.....and that was a costly fall!

It was amazing, and I still remember how good that felt......and we were married for 32 years, and she never suspected that I was one of the fallen, because she thought I was just clumsy!

        (He smiles at this)

Clumsy.  A faller has to be very agile, and look very clumsy.  Unlucky.  But you have to choose where you do this, do the research.  Big grocery stores that have water spilled on a slippery floor, I see that kind of like a big open bank!  With a sign that says - 'come on in!'

        (Starts to rub his arm)

But of course, there is a price....a very physical price.....even though I practiced, there were times I truly did hurt myself.  My left knee, this elbow....ribs and coccyx.... twice   My back is in constant pain, and due to all the falls, I have trouble standing up straight.

 I didn't mind, because my family had it good, better than before my mom discovered the value of being flat on your back!

    (He shakes his head, takes a deep sigh)

Here's the tough thing about falling....in love.  There is just no insurance that will cover...... the pain of losing someone you care about, especially if that someone....is your baby.

Want to hear the funny part?  The baby, my oldest, my precious baby, was not insured against polio.  Most people didn't die from polio, but my first born did - one of the last deaths in this country.

So we collected nothing .....except sympathy.

Go ahead, judge me.  But you should also ask - why is this guy telling me this?  Here's why - I am telling you all this so that you will know about people who might fall on your doorstep, or come to paint your house - and the ladder tips over....like it has at five other houses for these guys.......if someone falls and you have to pay, do a little digging, it's worth having an attorney check it out.....before the fallen are YOUR downfall!

        (He turns to go, looks back)

And also, because.....I love the winter, spring and summer.... but I'm just too old for...the fall!

        (He walks off, almost falls again, gets up smiling, dusts himself off.  The end.) 



Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
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