Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
From an episode of the show a few months later
KYLE - I got two.....my great grandpa.....and me......
(The others laugh at him)
KYLE - Wait a minute! I am 18 and I never had a girlfriend yet....I mean, not a real one, ya know!
All of you have, and been married, and had a life.....so, don't I get a house for that?
JEANNIE - I think he does! And even one more......what about your mother?
KYLE - Well, she's ok, but yeah, I worry about her. She works too much and she does get awful skinny sometimes when she doesn't eat meals.....so, yeah, three for me! Yeah!
ANN - What about you, Valerie? You have plenty on your plate....or your board!
VALERIE - It doesn't seem like this is a game I want to win!
(The others laugh at this and a woman stands who has not been seen before, the others all point and clap for her)
GEORGE - Now, this woman, she has won this game a lot!
ANN - Oh, Ruth, how are you?
RUTH - Well, first, I got two parents to care for.....and both have memory loss.....and they live across town.....
(Nods to George)
RUTH - And I have no help...
GEORGE - Two houses right to start!
RUTH - And you honey....
(She goes over to Valerie)
RUTH - Your husband is in a wheelchair, but does he smoke? With COPD? That's what my baby does! and a few months ago, he almost burned down OUR house! So......does that count extra?
JEANNIE - You didn't mention your son with mental problems.....so we're up to four for you....Ruth
GEORGE - That's a hotel right there!
RUTH - Just the foundation! But wait, there's more.....
(She is quiet, and the others stop laughing)
RUTH - Two weeks ago, my son in Colorado.........(takes a deep breath) commits suicide.....smashes his brand new Corvette into a brick wall......not wearing a seat belt either.....
(The others give condolences, she waves them away)
RUTH - Wait for the rest!.....I said he commits suicide, yes, he's dead, and then, a brand new EMT sees a faint pulse in the carotid, and they work on him for an hour......and he's......kind of alive.......in a coma.....medically induced,,,,,and his liver is destroyed, and he needs a new one, but me and my sick husband cannot donate parts of ours, too sick! So he is on the list....but........because he tried to commit suicide, they may not give him the liver.......until he wakes up and says the whole thing was a stunt gone wrong......he meant to jump out in time......that's why he wasn't wearing the seat belt.....and there was no suicide note (sighs) at least that's what the attorney said to say......so......catch-22 - no wake up, no chance for liver, no liver, no wake up.......and when he wakes up, is there brain damage?
(Turns to Valerie)
RUTH - At least can your husband speak? That's a plus sometimes........So, where do I stand....
JEANNIE - Looks like not one, but two hotels....so we have....
OTHERS ALL TOGETHER- The Winner!
(She takes a bow. Valerie is stunned)
VALERIE - I thought you guys were crazy before, but what THE HELL kind of winning is that supposed to be?
RUTH - This is the only place I can tell my tale of woe and win something! And that's good for everything, honey!
(She turns to go back to her seat, stops, looks back)
RUTH - Especially because....I have the suicide note he wrote.......
first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 - today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here There are now over 1180!
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Monologue Mania Day # 1208 Winner! (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 5, 2017
From an episode of the show a few months later
Winner!
(for Caregivers Anonymous)
by Janet S. Tiger
by Janet S. Tiger
(Jeannie stands and raises a Monopoly game board over her head)
JEANNIE - I think it's time for a game of our own brand of Monopoly - Monopoly of Pain!
(The crowd oohs and aahs!
VALERIE - What kind of a game is this supposed to be?
JEANNIE - Oh, you'll love it! Especially because we have a few more people tonight.....George maybe you explain....
GEORGE - Well, the goal of our monopoly is simple.....the person with the most houses of pain wins, and if someone gets four houses, they get a hotel! Now, tonight, I don't think I'm gonna win, because I got just one house.....but there were days....
(Ann touches his shoulder)
ANN - I remember......
GEORGE - Now, my girl Lena, I miss her, but I have help round the clock, so I even get to play some golf now, go visit the grandkids.....everyone is healthy today, thank you Jesus.....
ANN - Amen!
GEORGE - But you got two houses, now, Ann, don't you?
ANN - Mama passed, but her sister is still kicking, so it's not so bad, just one....
(The others laugh at him)
KYLE - Wait a minute! I am 18 and I never had a girlfriend yet....I mean, not a real one, ya know!
All of you have, and been married, and had a life.....so, don't I get a house for that?
JEANNIE - I think he does! And even one more......what about your mother?
KYLE - Well, she's ok, but yeah, I worry about her. She works too much and she does get awful skinny sometimes when she doesn't eat meals.....so, yeah, three for me! Yeah!
ANN - What about you, Valerie? You have plenty on your plate....or your board!
VALERIE - It doesn't seem like this is a game I want to win!
(The others laugh at this and a woman stands who has not been seen before, the others all point and clap for her)
GEORGE - Now, this woman, she has won this game a lot!
ANN - Oh, Ruth, how are you?
RUTH - Well, first, I got two parents to care for.....and both have memory loss.....and they live across town.....
(Nods to George)
RUTH - And I have no help...
GEORGE - Two houses right to start!
RUTH - And you honey....
(She goes over to Valerie)
RUTH - Your husband is in a wheelchair, but does he smoke? With COPD? That's what my baby does! and a few months ago, he almost burned down OUR house! So......does that count extra?
JEANNIE - You didn't mention your son with mental problems.....so we're up to four for you....Ruth
GEORGE - That's a hotel right there!
RUTH - Just the foundation! But wait, there's more.....
(She is quiet, and the others stop laughing)
RUTH - Two weeks ago, my son in Colorado.........(takes a deep breath) commits suicide.....smashes his brand new Corvette into a brick wall......not wearing a seat belt either.....
(The others give condolences, she waves them away)
RUTH - Wait for the rest!.....I said he commits suicide, yes, he's dead, and then, a brand new EMT sees a faint pulse in the carotid, and they work on him for an hour......and he's......kind of alive.......in a coma.....medically induced,,,,,and his liver is destroyed, and he needs a new one, but me and my sick husband cannot donate parts of ours, too sick! So he is on the list....but........because he tried to commit suicide, they may not give him the liver.......until he wakes up and says the whole thing was a stunt gone wrong......he meant to jump out in time......that's why he wasn't wearing the seat belt.....and there was no suicide note (sighs) at least that's what the attorney said to say......so......catch-22 - no wake up, no chance for liver, no liver, no wake up.......and when he wakes up, is there brain damage?
(Turns to Valerie)
RUTH - At least can your husband speak? That's a plus sometimes........So, where do I stand....
JEANNIE - Looks like not one, but two hotels....so we have....
OTHERS ALL TOGETHER- The Winner!
(She takes a bow. Valerie is stunned)
VALERIE - I thought you guys were crazy before, but what THE HELL kind of winning is that supposed to be?
RUTH - This is the only place I can tell my tale of woe and win something! And that's good for everything, honey!
(She turns to go back to her seat, stops, looks back)
RUTH - Especially because....I have the suicide note he wrote.......
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
