Alert - some objectionable material - not for some younger (or older squeamish) readers
Senior Channel's Mystery Theater
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger
© all rights reserved 2015 tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Actor dressed remarkably like Alfred Hitchcock comes onstage and bows)
Welcome....to the Senior Channel's........ Mystery Theater!
Every night.....a new mystery.......can you figure it out before the detective?
We had a wonderful response to yesterday's mystery of....the missing glasses! Everyone loved our new mantra.....'it's ten o'clock...do you know where your glasses are?'
And last week, even the queen loved our delightful....and based on a true story! - the case of the disappearing donut hole! Who would have guessed - it was blown away!
And tonight we mystify you with the.... 'where is it now' wallet!
And please, keep those ideas for new shows flooding in! We are planning an entire upcoming series of mysterious disappearances titled...simply....Where is it? Where is the item that was..... just in your hand?
(Gets louder throughout) The cell phone that you can hear ringing but never find.....the purse with the cell phone in it, the earrings you were about to wear, the pill bottle you need, the letter you just opened, the pen you loved, the second sock you were about to put on, the stapler you JUST HAD IN YOUR HAND.....where is it? For God's sake......WHERE IS IT?
(Takes a deep breath and gets a little control back)
And most of all....where is that damned emergency button that I always have around my neck getting in my way..... and then I took it off to take a shower .....and it disappeared and I need it because if I can't find something and have a heart attack looking for it I won't be able to call for help and I will look like the people in the commercials and if I died I wouldn't be found until no one could identify me because the cats ate my face!
(Wipes face with handkerchief)
Whew! Sounds like an exciting month! So stay tuned.....if you can find the remote that is! But don't worry, if the remote is missing, maybe it will be our next featured mystery on.......Senior Channel Mystery Theater!.......where our motto is.....now you see it.....now you don't!
(There is a flash of light.....and the actor is gone! Along with many other items......)
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Original post- Day # 853 June 14, 2016
Senior Channel's Mystery Theater
A 30ish second monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Actor dressed remarkably like Alfred Hitchcock comes onstage and bows)
Welcome....to the Senior Channel's........ Mystery Theater!
Every night.....a new mystery.......can you figure it out before the detective?
We had a wonderful response to yesterday's mystery of....the missing glasses! Everyone loved our new mantra.....'it's ten o'clock...do you know where your glasses are?'
And last week, even the queen loved our delightful....and based on a true story! - the case of the disappearing donut hole! Who would have guessed - it was blown away!
And tonight we mystify you with the.... 'where is it now' wallet!
So stay tuned.....if you can find the remote that is! But don't worry, if the remote is missing, maybe it will be our next featured mystery on.......Senior Channel Mystery Theater!.......where our motto is.....now you see it.....now you don't!
(There is a flash of light.....and the actor is gone! Along with many other items......)
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8--------------------------------------------------------------
1 comment:
So funny, and so true!
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