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If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
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Today's post means only 299 to go!
MONOLOGUE MANIA by Janet S. Tiger Day # 66
The Joy of Sox
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) all rights reserved Apr. 19, 2014
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(A
man comes out onstage, he has a very big bag of….socks. Which he opens
up, and dumps on
the ground. He stares at audience in hostility.)
I
know that nowadays, everybody has a fascination with things that, when I was
younger, were never discussed in public.
These
private functions were discussed behind barns and in closets where they
belonged, with snickers and giggles, because the images were funny….and never,
ever referred to in front of…(whispers)
the children.
But
now, things are ….different.
Which
is why I like to return to the simple things in life – the joy….of socks.
Let
me explain why I can discuss this publicly.
Here
is a pair of socks.
(He holds up the pair to illustrate)
They
are happy, perfectly matched. Watch as
they are mated together, to be kept in a warm, happy drawer until they make
someone’s feet very cozy…
(He takes the two socks are puts
them together, opening the top of one pair and enclosing the other, suggestively)
Now
see this sock……
(He picks up a sock with a hole in
it.)
It's got a hole. You ask, how
could this bring joy?
Because
if you look at this sock, you see the years of faithful service…..judging by
the size of the hole, many years!
(He pokes his fingers through the
hole, wiggles them around, suggestively)
And
notice how smooth the material has become, how gentle against the skin.
(He rubs the sock against his face,
smiling)
And
look at all these socks…..black, white, brown, green (happy) even red!......
(He now gets animated, sits down and
starts putting on a new pair of socks, smiling.)
Some
are matched, but others have lost their partners, it doesn’t matter to my feet!
(He picks up the others, holding
them to his chest.)
They
are all different styles and colors, yet they do not fight! They do not start wars, they do not argue
over who did not put the toilet seat down!
They are happy! They are content
to make others happy! They
are…….perfect!
(He pours the socks over his head,
shivering in ecstasy, rolling in them.)
(Going
wild) I love them all! Why can’t anyone understand this? They don’t argue with me, or ask to borrow
the car! Or want to marry drunks! They hurt no one, and they only give joy! And
that is why, I cannot….no…I will not!..... discard these socks. And if my wife wishes me to do that, she
should be coming here to see a therapist, not me!
(He gathers the socks, and puts them
lovingly back in the bag, starts to leave.)
You’ll
have to excuse me….I think I need to go change….my socks.
(He tiptoes off, hugging the socks. The end.)
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