Sunday, December 6, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 663 This is No Drill! (rerun for Pearl Harbor Day) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 6, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 600!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 663 This is No Drill! (rerun for Pearl Harbor Day - Dec. 7) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 6, 2015



                Original post -  Day #298 by Janet S. Tiger This Is No Drill Dec. 7, 2014 

In memory and gratitude to all who have served - including my father - and who serve now.
                                                  This Is No Drill!
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved
                                                      tigerteam1@gmail.com 

              (The flag is seen first, carried by a woman dressed mostly in black, the only color, a flag pin.  She holds the flag and salutes.)

Thank you all for letting me carry the flag today.  I am truly honored.

It is a wondrous event that this day that will live in infamy, still lives on.....it is a day that everyone remembers, and even though I was only seven, that moment is still frozen in my brain.

It was after church.  We were having lunch......I was wearing a new dress for the first time,

        (She whirls around, showing off 'the dress')

................a dress bought for a Christmas play we had just performed about the twelve nights of Christmas.

In the middle of everyone eating, right after I had spilled some cherry punch on the white skirt and my mother said, 'don't cry, it's not that important'..... a man ran into the hall and he was shouting.....the pastor quieted everyone and we heard the words of the telegraph sent from Hawaii....
'Air Raid on Pearl Harbor....This is No Drill.....'

It was as if that instant was imprinted on my brain to this day.....the looks on the faces of everyone there.  The shock, the horror, the anger, the fear.....our world changed in the blink of a telegraph....and within the next few months, my father went off to war.....he was so handsome in his uniform.  My mother was so afraid for him.....It was a difficult time.....

            (She turns away for a moment, gets her composure)

The rest of the war is a blur......but we fast forward 10 years, to my graduation from high school, and my parents had given me a special graduation gift, a trip to the big city of San Francisco, with my friends, chaperoned of course, but after the chaperones went to sleep, we snuck out to visit the fun spots.  We were young and all dressed up, and some sailors started to follow us, they may have been a bit drunk, and all of a sudden, there was a dashing young lieutenant.  (Says it with pride)  Lt. Thomas Montgomery.  He gave one look, the other sailors left, and he took my arm and insisted on escorting us back to our hotel.

I always wondered about when people said, 'you just know' about the person you're going to marry, but when I saw Tommy, I suddenly understood.

Two months later, on leave, he visited and asked me to marry him.  I was young and a little surprised at how fast everything had happened.  Then he said, (imitates him) 'So, Jeannie, what's the answer?'  I stammered, 'Are you sure?'  And he went, 'Of course I am!  This is no drill!'

And that moment now froze in my brain!  Tommy had been at Pearl Harbor, one of the radiomen under Commander Ramsey, and had sent out some of those telegraphs on that fateful day.

It was also what he would say to our children when it was time to do something or get into the car....(Barks)  'This is no drill!'   And they would hop to, and we would always smile....

          (She takes out a package, takes a deep breath)

And so, I bring with me today a last request.  The last day of his life, Tommy was mostly asleep, but then he woke up and looked at me, and asked me to bring his ashes here, back to Pearl Harbor, to join those of his fellow sailors.....those who had died that day, and since.

I asked if he was sure.  He looked at me and smiled.....(whispers)  'this is no drill!'

         (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Thank you, for all those who served and are serving now.

          (She exits.  Not the end of liberty)

-----------------------------------------------
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/american_originals/fdr.html


Radiogram reporting the Pearl Harbor attack, December 7, 1941





             
 ------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315 
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
--------------------------------------------------------


Saturday, December 5, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 662 Choices (part 3) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 5, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 650!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 662 Choices (part 3) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 5, 2015

          For the first two in this, please see Day # 632 and 631

                                                     Choices 
                                       by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

        (This is Marisol, the young Latina girl mentioned in Choices 1 and 2 - but now she's not as young as when she started.  She is dressed provocatively, and takes out a cigarette leaning in for someone to light it for her.  She is many things - confused, worried, but mostly angry)

You got a lotta nerve, doing what you just did.  Asking me to do this for you......You think I don't know you been nice to me to get to Xavier?

         (Listens, shakes head)

No, I didn't tell him about you because ,,,,,I didn't want him to hurt you.....he don't like other guys talking to me, taking me out....., 'specially when they don't pay....he gets real .......upset about that.....

        (She takes a big drag of the cigarette, blows it in the face of the person who lit her cigarette)

You should learn to smoke, Jorge, it would help you make more friends.....you look cool when you smoke.....

You tell me that he's using me.  Yeah, I know, I got that.  My family doesn't like him....but that don't matter to me, because where were they when the boys don't talk to me.....or when the girls in school are mean to me,   Do you know what Xavier did to one girl who shoved me at school?  (Proud)  He went, and after he talked to that bitch, she was different, you know.  She came up, and she was real nice to me!  I noticed, she had a big bruise on her wrist, and she tried to cover it up, but I knew.

         (Touches her own wrist, rubs it)

Xavier's real strong...... she never bothered me again!

Nobody ever took care of me like that!  Ever!  In my whole life!  My Daddy was killed when I was ten, and my mother... she works all the time.  My brothers, I gotta  watch them, and I don't paid nothing for that, so the money I get from what I do, that's my money.  And maybe I share it with Xavier, but that's my business, right?  Not yours!

You say he's using me, but you want to use me, too.....to get information ......(gets upset)...and then who's gonna take care of me?  You tell me!  Is it gonna be you?  Let's say you arrest him, he'll be out in two hours, that's all it takes, he's got the best lawyer!  (Almost yelling)  So what happens to me?  Can you protect me?   And watch over my family?  Are you gonna put me in the witness protection?  And give me a big house?  And make sure nobody comes and kills me?  You gonna do that, big man?

           (Listens, laughs)

I didn't think so.......

            (She drops the cigarette, crushes it violently)

That's what he'll do to me if he thinks I'm ratting him out......and I don't think it matters which policeman it is....even his own brother!

            (She exits. Blackout)




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, December 4, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 661 Stand Up (part 2) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 4, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 600!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 661 Stand Up (part 2) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 4, 2015

           This is the monologue that responds to yesterday's piece.  The entire scene is below

                                    Stand Up (part two)
                                       by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

1973 dress     (Her mother, mid 40s, dressed for a trip, puts up her hand and the daughter is quiet)

MOTHER - (Loud)  You talk about turns, well, you had your turn to speak, now it's mine.  Your wonderful words helped me make a choice that looked difficult into one that is actually very easy.

Now I may have regretted some things.in my life...like that purse last year that fell apart after one month.....or trying to wear those high heels on the beach!  But many years ago, I made a choice....to marry your father. I have never regretted that choice, not for one single moment in my life.

And now, with your words so very clear in my head, I realized.....tonight I have to make the same decision.  Which is more important?  A 3 day trip to Washington for a convention - or my marriage of over twenty-five years?  When I hear it in simple terms, it is actually a very simple decision to make - the same one I made all those years ago.


I still love your father. Yes, he is annoying, he is sure he's always right and he is as stubborn as an Archie Bunker mule!  But...he is still a good man....and I think we can work out our issues - and if he is successful in getting to be nominated for governor, I will still be getting a trip to Washington - and perhaps a bigger chance to change things that need to change.

So.....for now, I choose to compromise......because I have found that politically, it is a very useful tactic that....over time......has served me very well......

Now for you dear girl, I am offering you my seat at the table of the future.....you are going to take my place at the convention...

        (She holds out the tickets to her daughter who stares at them in amazement)

You are the future..... .....marry, not marry, have children, I hope.....or not, these will be your choices......and you have the chance to choose......and the chance to change the future.......I hope, no, I know you will choose wisely, because that's what you have been taught in this home.....

        (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

And I'm glad I taught you to pack quickly - because the car will wait for you - but the plane won't!

        (End of monologue)

------------------------------------------------------------------

The entire scene is below with yesterday's monologue first, and additional dialogue for bridging


  (The woman is in her 40s, circa 1973, and is dressed very well, prepared for some kind of trip, seen by the hand luggage she carries with her.)

           (She listens)

MOTHER - Yes, I heard you......(trying not to show the upset) if I go to this convention, you, my faithful husband of almost 30 years.....will not be here in our home when I return.  It was very clear.  The legal degree I helped you get has made your verbiage very accurate.  Thank you....I think.

           (Her daughter has overheard this conversation and is very upset)

DAUGHTER - Mom, are you kidding me?  Where do we go from here?  Did you understand what he said....what he's asking you?  This is exactly what I've been talking about for years!  Dad is trying to control you....and if you stay home now, he wins!  Didn't anything in the meetings get through that hairspray you use around your brain?

Do I need to get a jackhammer to drill through all the layers of oppression you have circled yourself with?  I mean.....who do you think you are?  Edith Bunker?

And even she stands up to Archie sometimes!  This is a textbook case of why every woman should be able to control her own life.....not have her father, or a brother....or a husband tell her what to do...no....DEMAND that she do his bidding!

This is 1973, and if you aren't going to fight back now, you'd better give up, because you will have chosen to turn back the clocks a hundred years, back to when women were just chattel, back to when we didn't have a vote....back to a time when you HAD to take his name when you married......come on, Mom!  Are you even listening to me?

         (She goes to her mother and holds her arms, looking into her eyes)

More important....are you listening....to you?

      (Her mother takes her arms and they look deeply at each other, then the mother breaks away)

MOTHER-  Thank you, dear, for helping make one of the most difficult decisions of my life.

       (The mother turns to walk out the door, and her daughter runs to get the suitcase)

DAUGHTER-  Mom!  Don't forget this!

MOTHER - I haven't forgotten anything.....

DAUGHTER-  But you love to have fresh underwear!

MOTHER - Yes, I do.....but I have plenty in my dresser....

DAUGHTER - (Not understanding)....But.....

MOTHER-  I don't need the suitcase to go outside and let the driver know I've changed my mind.....

DAUGHTER- Changed your mind?

MOTHER - And I will not be attending the convention.....and then I'll call Adele.....

DAUGHTER -- But...Mom.....

         (Her mother puts up her hand and the daughter is quiet)

MOTHER - (Loud)  You talk about turns, well, you had your turn to speak, now it's mine.  Your wonderful words helped me make a choice that looked difficult into one that is actually very easy.

Now I may have regretted some things.in my life...like that purse last year that fell apart after one month.....or trying to wear those high heels on the beach!  Many years ago, I made a choice....to marry your father. I have never regretted that choice, not for one single moment in my life.

And now, with your words so very clear in my head, I realized.....tonight I have to make the same decision.  Which is more important?  A 3 day trip to Washington for a convention - or my marriage of over twenty-five years?  When I hear it in simple terms, it is actually a very simple decision to make - the same one I made all those years ago.

I still love your father. Yes, he is annoying, he is sure he's always right and he is as stubborn as an Archie Bunker mule!  But...he is still a good man....and I think we can work out our issues - and if he is successful in getting to be nominated for governor, I will still be getting a trip to Washington - and perhaps a bigger chance to change things that need to change.

So.....for now, I choose to compromise......because I have found that politically, it is a very useful tactic that....over time......has served me very well......


Now for you dear girl, I am offering you my seat at the table of the future.....you are going to take my place at the convention...

          (Her daughter looks at her stunned.  She holds out the tickets to  Shelley who stares at them in amazement)

LAURA -You are the future..... .....marry, not marry, have children, I hope you have, but whatever you choose..... these will be your choices......and you have the chance to choose......and the chance to change the future.......I hope, no, I have faith you will choose wisely, because that's what you have been taught in this home.....

SHELLEY- (Very touched) Mom, I don't know what to say...

MOM - Not a lot, because you will only have a few minutes to pack!  The car is waiting, but the plane won't!

SHELLEY-  But what if they won't accept me as your replacement!  What if they try to make me pay for all these expenses......I mean, this is a first class ticket!

HENRY -  Don't worry about that now.....we'll cover it.

SHELLEY -  (Amazed) Are you sure, Dad?

HENRY -  Look, we may be on opposite sides of the fence, politically, but I have always believed that a good fence has a gate......so neighbors can get together.....and.....

         (He looks at his wife)

HENRY- and......(hard for him to say) ....compromise.....

            (Shelley hugs her parents and exits to pack.  Fade out) 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 660 Stand Up by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 3, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 600!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 660 Stand Up by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 3, 2015
                                       
                                    Stand Up
                                       by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (A teenager in 1973 has overheard a conversation between her mother and father and is very upset)

Mom, are you kidding me?  Did you understand what he said....what he's asking you?  This is exactly what I've been talking about for years!  Dad is trying to control you....and if you stay home now, he wins!  Didn't anything in the meetings get through that hairspray you use around your brain?

Do I need to get a jackhammer to drill through all the layers of oppression you have circled yourself with?  I mean.....who do you think you are?  Edith Bunker?

And even she stands up to Archie sometimes!  This is a textbook case of why every woman should be able to control her own life.....not have her father, or a brother....or a husband tell her what to do...no....DEMAND that she do his bidding!

This is 1973, and if you aren't going to fight back now, you'd better give up, because you will have chosen to turn back the clocks a hundred years, back to when women were just chattel, back to when we didn't have a vote....back to a time when you HAD to take his name when you married......come on, Mom!  Are you even listening to me?

         (She turns to leave, stops looks back)

More important....are you listening....to you?

         (Her mother's response will be tomorrow's monologue)


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 659 Once Before I Die by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 2, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 600!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 659 Once Before I Die by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 2, 2015

            You may want to read Day # 657 - Darwin's String - to understand this one!

                                        Once Before I Die
                                 (for the Senior Channel)
                                       by  Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (An older lady dressed for travel enters with a firm step, she is determined.  She shields her eyes against the lights and stares out at the audience.)

Hello, hello!  I can't see anyone with all these lights in my eyes, but I know you're out there, because I have sat in this audience at Senior Channel many times!  I never thought I'd be up here, but this is the only way I can see to do this, so here goes......

         (She takes a deep breath and then remembers, taking a paper from her pocket, opens it, starts to read, then remembers to get her glasses)

This is for my kids, mostly, but maybe...just maybe it will help others in the same position.

I have these notes....

         (She waves the paper)

....in case I forget....sometimes I do forget....Sorry!...it'll happen to you, my dear children........I have spent 67 years working to raise a family....first you, my direct progeny.....I changed your diapers- lots of them!  And took you to school, and events, and sports, and to the ocean, which was a thousand miles away, and to Disneyland, which was two thousand miles away in those days.....but I did it, all.  And most of the time, with a smile on my face!  Which is more than can say for all of you after two days in the car!  But that's another story......Now you are all grown, and I saw you through college, and boyfriends and girlfriends and cars, and now....because you all work, I take care of YOUR children, too!  So you can have....(mocks) ...the good life!

Well, I want something, too.  Something before I die......because I deserve it.  I want to do something that I have dreamed of doing since I first read about it in the paper years ago......

        (She stands very tall)

I want to see ......the giant ball of string!

There, I've said it.  It's only a two day trip, because I am no longer able to drive straight through in one day.......so we would have to stay in a motel one night, and the return trip would be the same - with one day in the town of Darwin, Minnesota to see this giant ball of string.....so a grand total of five days!  That's what I want for Christmas!  And I want you all.....to go with me.

There, that's not too much to ask!

        (Listens)

Why do I want to go?  Good question.  I could say it's because I want to see the result of someone's life work.....and I don't have the energy to head to Italy to see the Sistine Chapel.  Or I could say that I want to see the result of a hoarder who is not in my family!  Or I could say that I want to tell everyone when they ask what I got for Christmas - I got to see the giant ball of string!.....(Darker)  Or I could say....it's none of your goddamn business!

        (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Or...... I could just tell you the truth......(deep breath)....I'm going....because I want to!

        (She exits, waving the paper, on her way to a new adventure)
   


-------------------------
This is from a true story - http://news.minnesota.publicradio.org/features/200008/11_helmsm_twine-m/about a real......person......and a really big ball of twine!


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Monologue Mania Day # 658 The Last Roll (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 1 , 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 600!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day # 658 The Last Roll (revised) by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 1 , 2015

                                    This is a revised monologue - 
from over 628 days ago -originally published  Day #29 Mar. 13, 2014  -
during the first month of this monologue marathon.  Thank you all for reading - and commenting!



                    The Last Roll   

                        by Janet S. Tiger  (c) all rights reserved 2014 revised 2015
                           tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (A man comes onstage carrying a roll of....you probably guessed from the          title!...toilet paper.  He is in his 50s, maybe 60s, but he walks and talks like a much younger man tonight.  He holds out the roll to the crowd, almost as if to make a toast.  He has a very thick Russian accent.)

Hello, my friends, sank you for coming here tonight to celebrate our anniversary - not our wedding, vee married so long, vee cannot remember sat day!  No, anozer big day in our lives - the day vee first came to America!

And now, I lift zis roll in honor of forty years in zis great country!  Let me tell you a little story about zis roll, and vy it is so special......

When vee lived in Russia, vat vas called Soviet Union, but always vee call it Russia, when vee lived there, nobody had toilet paper.  I zink you could say toilet paper.....(searches for the right words).. vas like national treasure! 

Actually, most people didn't have a lot of things...except of course for the leaders, they had plenty.  But for most of us, not so much good stuff.  And hard to find, and when you find it, not easy to get.  Lots of problems, and ze fact ve wanted to leave, zat did not help eezer!

But vee worked, and vee waited, and worked and waited more.  Then, vee got the lucky.  Vee get the word, after more zan four years waiting, vee can go.  Zey have decided vee have no state secrets, so....vee can go!

Vee start to sell all our things to make ze money for a new life. Not easy, but it vas an amazing time.  To look back now, I do not know how vee did it.  Family, friends, they helped, but it vas not an easy time.  

      (He wipes his eyes, it is hard to remember, yet.... good) 

And when vee ve are coming to move, I packed up the rolls vee had saved, hoarded - which vas actually against the law! - and put zem into one of the two suitcases I vas allowed to leave Russia with.

My wife, you know Anna, everyone, am I right?...she sinks I'm crazy!  Maybe she is a little right, too?  Vell, I tell her - vat if vee get to United States and zey have no toilet paper?  

She tells me...(imitates her voice)  'Gregory....vee just buy some in Italy!'

But I am nervose, I cannot take zis chance!  To be wizout toilet paper, zis is a terrible nightmare for me!

(Animated) You in zis great country have not an idea vat it's like to have no toilet paper!  You think no toilet paper means someone didn't bring ze toilet paper into the bathroom from the closet!  Or worse, you forgot to buy at store.....but zis is not the worst, I can tell you........(laughs).... from bitter experience!

           (Listens)

All right, Anna, I will not go into too much detail!

Anyhow, so vee leave behind many zings...(he looks as if he is actually seeing these items, still moved by the thought of losing them)......books that are gifts from my grandparents, clozing that mean something special, letters from my family....all because I want to make sure vee never run out of toilet paper.

            (He is very affected, suddenly remembering those days, slowly gets a hold              of himself)

And so vee go to Italy to wait for papers to come here.  And ven ze guards open up my suitcase and look and see all the toilet paper…they laugh!  And the other passengers, they laugh!  But I do not care….and I do not use the toilet paper from Russia....just in case.

And vee get ze papers, and vee come here to California, and vee start a new life....and my wife starts using the toilet paper.  And I get very mad!

(Quickly)  But not in ze bathroom!  Nooooo, she prefers the nice soft paper from the commercials on the television!  The ones with the silly man who squeezes ze toilet paper!  She says what I bring from Russia is too rough…she will only use the toilet paper from Russia - to clean up spilled things!

And I don't mind, because I have this one last roll, saved here in my dresser, so she vill not find it.....

            (Listens)

I know you knew it vas there, Anna!  It's a story, you have to make a story a little bit different - or else it's .....just the news!

Anyhow, I saved this roll here......

            (He waves the roll in the air around his head)

...I saved it to remind me vy vee came.

And it has been a good reminder of all the sh........

            (Reacts as if someone slapped him)

......all right Anna, I'll be careful for the grandchildren!..  a reminder of all the crap vee left behind to come to this amazing, crazy land.

And now vee  are citizens, how many years is it?  Thirty-five!  Sometimes, with all the sh.....(says it carefully)  ...all the crap here, ze arguing, ze fighting, ze crazy people.......it can be easy to forget exactly vy vee did come, ....then I look at my children, at my grandchildren....at you, Anna, at all my friends ...and I am grateful all over again.....But when I look at zis....zis roll.....

            (He holds it up again)

When I look at zis beautiful roll...(chokes a little).....I remember.

I remember that I vaited for 6 hours, in the rain, the very cold rain, to get this roll and the others.  I remember that I would think, vile I vas waiting, about who vas making zese rolls, in vat prison camp....I mean factory....and vas the person still alive who made these.  Now they are probably gone.....and I hope zey lived long enough to see the end of ze  Cold War...but they probably did not.  

So I have to live for them - all those who could not make it to the day of freedom, ze day, when, even in Russia, you could buy as much toilet paper as you want - as long as you have ze money!

            (Holds it up as if to toast)

Is great country, yes?

            (He lifts the roll high, like a famous statue we all know)

Ven vee sail into New York City, I see that great lady you have waiting for us, the tired and poor and huddled....vatever that means.....and it is like a....

            (He waves the roll, takes deep breath, almost overcome with emotion)

It is like ....like she is waving at me!

            (Gets control)


To ze United States!

Sank you, America!

            (He is almost crying, and looks at the roll, takes off a piece and wipes his eyes.  He now    smiles and throws his head back)

Amazing!  After all these years!  Still…just like sandpaper!

            (He continues to wave the roll as he carries it out.  Truly.....Ze end.)


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This piece is dedicated to all the Russian immigrants who came over to this country - from the 1800s through the 1980s.  Our family was lucky enough to be able to help several families acclimate to this grand place we call the United States during the 1970s - I will never forget their faces when they saw the first really large grocery store - it was a look of total awe.  It helped me appreciate even more what is so often taken for granted about this country - our incredible choices and our remarkable freedom!
                                     


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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monologue Mania Day # 657 Darwin's String by Janet S. Tiger Nov. 30 , 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.


If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     

     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 600!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
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Monologue Mania Day # 657 Darwin's String by Janet S. Tiger Nov. 30 , 2015

                                        Darwin's String
                                                by 
                                        Janet S. Tiger    
                                © 2015  all rights reserved 
                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (It's big, whatever the man is rolling in, very big, requiring energy to push, and much larger than the man himself, who is no longer young.  He stops, looks up at the ball and wipes his forehead with a handkerchief that is very well used.)

I think that'll do it.....you can see it from the road.....

          (He runs to the back of the audience and nods)

Ah, yeah, I can see it.  Now what sign should I put up?  Or does it need a sign?

          (He runs back onstage and stares up at the object)

Whatever it needs, it needs a little house to protect it.....

           (He looks around, takes out a paper and pencil, starts measuring)

What is it, you ask?  It's my greatest achievement...oh, I know I seem a little crazy...but....

           (He coughs, takes the handkerchief and spits in it)

Sorry about that.....the dust from all these pieces of string gets into my lungs and makes me cough a bit.....they call it emphysema, but I just say....it's a cough.......and it's going to kill me, but I don't care, I am the first man to roll a ball of twine this big, and ain't no one gonna take that away from me!  No sir!  I may never have married, I may have spent four hours a day rolling all the twine into this amazing ball!  But I am the king of twine.....and that's how I'll go down in history.....and when I die which is coming up in 1989.....I plan to leave this 19 feet tall ball of twine to the town of Darwin where I live, and ........so it is my legacy.....

       (He stares up in love and awe)

Come on, we can take a photo together.......you stand right over here next to me.....

        (He points into the crowd and then stands tall)

Because I leave this giant ball of twine, the town of Darwin will not disappear....the town will survive and flourish because.............I may be crazy, but there are enough crazy people who want to come see this...just like you!

        (He holds his arm out and there is now a bright spot on him.  Blackout)

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This is from a true story - http://news.minnesota.publicradio.org/features/200008/11_helmsm_twine-m/about a real......person......and a really big ball of twine!


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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8