Monologue Mania

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #115 by Janet S. Tiger c) June 7, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

                      - for a whole year!If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #115 by Janet S. Tiger c) June 7, 2014

   Procrastination
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) June 6, 2014 all rights reserved


(The actor does not come on immediately, but is cautious, entering with a very ashamed face.)

I'm sorry I'm late. And I'm sorry, but I also do not have the first act memorized yet.

(Listens)

Yes, I know it's a bad habit, and I have a little story to tell. When I was in fifth grade, the teacher told the class we had to learn one expression a day, and that the first day's expression was, (imitates a woman's voice) "Procrastination is the thief of time"

And I raised my hand and she called on me and I asked (in a child's voice)- " What does procrastination mean?"

And she replied..."There is the dictionary, go look it up!"

This was in the era where you looked up words in a big, really big.....

(Illustrates with arms)

book, on a special stand for this really big book......and I looked at it, and thought, "I don't remember how to look up words, I'll have to read every single page, and that will take me forever, and I'll never graduate and get away from this horrible teacher. So, I told her, "I'll do it later"

And I never did. And that is why I have never learned the meaning of the word,,,procrastination.

(The actor turns to go, stops and looks back)

But I will have it all memorized.....by tomorrow!

(The actor exits. )

-------------------------------------
Sorry about this! After a crazy week, I, too, have fallen into the Procrastination Pit - yes, I've been moving, but I could have done this, say, three hours ago, instead of at 16 minutes to midnight! Better one tomorrow....

Janet S. Tiger   858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, June 6, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #114 M-Day by Janet S. Tiger c) June 6, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #114 by Janet S. Tiger M- Day c) June 6, 2014

M- Day-
Moving Day
by Janet S. Tiger
(c) June 6, 2014 all rights reserved

(A woman comes onstage. She is carrying a bag. She is smiling)

We did it. We moved. And I am home.......thank you God.......

Today our family moved - from a house we'd been in for 26 years. It was not easy, but we did it.

Not enough boxes, too much stuff. Too many decisions....a tsunami of decisions. And, like a tsunami, the weeks, months of anticipation, the horror of the impending event, the sucking back of the sea as everyone runs for the hills, never fast enough, never enough boxes, always too much stuff. Then the wave hits, and the power is amazing, the strength of the elements pouring on you......time gets shorter and shorter and as the wave of the move fully hits, you are just struggling to stay alive, with no way of holding onto anything concrete (as all the concrete has sunk) and only boxes are floating by.

Then the wave is gone - and only the debris remains. The items that should have been thrown out, back on your shore. Other treasures gone forever. And the most valuable lesson of working together to succeed is the finest memory you have.

Not to compare moving with anything very serious - like an illness or death.

Perspective.

Today was also the anniversary of an incredible day - D- Day, and no problems with moving - nothing I could write ever write - could come close to the experience those people went through on that incredible day. A day that changed the world forever.

Just like this move will change my world forever.

Something to think about.

(She starts to exit, looks back)

Now where the hell are my glasses?

(She shakes her head and goes to look for them.)

(Not the end - the beginning of a new chapter.....a huge thank you to family and friends who helped us during this incredibly difficult time. We have a safe roof over our heads, and we are ready to face the future with renewed faith in our fellow human beings. You are awesome - and you know who you are!)

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Monologue Mania Day #113 by Janet S. Tiger Moving On (c) June 5, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #113 by Janet S. Tiger Moving On (c) June 5, 2014

Moving On

by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A woman comes onstage, holding a phone to one ear. She is listening, with almost no reaction, as the other party keeps speaking. She sits heavily.)

(Flat) Yes, Suzy, it is difficult to move, I know, especially when you didn't want to........the kids will get used to the new school. .......well, new puppies are like that, they get nervous in a new place.

(Listens)

Perhaps if you get an older dog next time, maybe one from the pound. (She is trying hard to keep it together) They can watch the animals for awhile......get to know them. See ....if anything is wrong. .....(Sharper) .No, I am not blaming you for getting a new puppy........

(Takes a deep breath)

Well, actually, Suzy, everything is not all right.

(Another deep breath, this is difficult) Last night, Terry, you know.... my oldest, the one who just got back from Afghanistan....last night.he.....he committed suicide.

(Holds phone from ear.)

I did find him. And no, it was not pretty.

He had the TV on very loudly, but we didn't like to....bother him......He shot himself, with a silencer so as not to wake anyone. He was always a considerate young man..... And he even used plastic tarps....so there wouldn't be too much ......mess. I guess they trained him well in the Army.......Preparation is half the battle, he told me his sergeant would say.....But I guess...... some things, you just can't prepare for....

(Listens)

Well, yes, Suzy, that's very nice of you to offer, I can use help....with the children, the dogs.....Thank you....
You must be tired from the move.....I'm sorry to bother you with anything.....

(Trying not to cry) When could you come over.......

(She pulls the phone from her ear.)

I guess when she says 'right now' she means it! But I had one last thing to ask......Could you bring him back for just a minute........

(Holds the phone by her chest)

I just want....to say goodbye.......before he .....moves on......

(She takes the phone and walks off. The hardest way to end.... a young life.)

Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 112 by Janet S. Tiger Whose Dog's Life is It Anyway? (c) June 4, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 112 by Janet S. Tiger (c) June 4, 2014

Whose Dog's Life is It Anyway?

by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A woman walks onstage, shielding her eyes from the lights. She stands, as if listening, looks behind her and straightens up, suddenly smiling. If a light can be flashed, this will help, but otherwise, she can turn sideways, so it is clear she is taking mug shots.

After she finishes with the pictures, she will move to a part of the stage with a chair on it.

She sits, looking around, then straight into the audience.)

Hi! I've seen enough TV to know someone is behind that big mirror, so, hello!

(Stops to think) I just realized, 'hello, is really, 'hell' oh! God, I can't believe it, I'm how old, and I just figured that out, wow!

Since you probably will keep me waiting awhile to try to crack me, I will save you all a lot of time. I am guilty.

That's right, I hope you had the tape machine on......did you hear?

I AM GUILTY!

That should make it simple for you - I don't need an attorney.....

I just want to get one phone call....I'm entitled, that's the law.

And you know who I'm going to call? No, I just told you NOT an attorney.

I am calling the newspaper.....(thinks) or wait a minute, maybe I should call one of the TV stations......or one of my friends to have THEM call ALL of the TV stations!

There, that's a plan........Wait! what if the person is not home? Do I get a second call?

Anyway, I told you I was guilty, but the fact is, you should have arrested the other guy, too!

That's right.....I may be guilty...(she says this with great drama)...I took the dog..... but I was doing it for the dog's protection!

I have been watching that guy for weeks, maybe months....he has the dog off his leash! Ok, I know that it's a leash free zone in the Kumquat Park.....but he let's that dog run into the street! And it's a busy street! The dog could bit hit by a car! It could be hurt! Or worse! Killed!

(She starts to take deep breaths, gets a hold of herself.)

Sorry about that, I am very affected by wounded animals. I am a volunteer for the Wounded Animal Program through the local humane society....yes, some might call it the ....(says this with disgust) ...RoadKill Patrol, but many of the animals live for awhile, and some can be saved, but it just makes me even more aware of how important each animal life is!

And I may be guilty of some stupid law, but not another, more basic law - the Constitution! That's right, his dog has rights! Put down in the Constitution by our forefathers - Washington, Franklin, Lincoln, and Roosevelt.....

(She counts on her fingers. Yeah, that's four)

And those rights are inalienable! That means for every one on earth, but not aliens!

And that every dog has the right to be happy, and taken care of, and fed properly....I'll bet that if that guy lets the dog run into the street, you have no idea what he's feeding that poor dog!

He probably gives it table scraps! Or....(more disgust)....chocolate!

(thinks, side-tracked) Hey, isn't it getting to be dinner-time? On TV, they always offer something to eat or drink! Where's my food!

And MY dog, who's gonna feed MY dog! I wanna see a lawyer!

I have changed my mind - I can do that, can't I? I may be guilty, but I reserve the right to plead innocent like all those murderers who are found chopping up their relatives, but plead innocent!

(Starting to get desperate)

I'm sorry I took the dog, I just wanted to get your attention! I just wanted to make you see you weren't paying attention to .....your dog!

And what kind of a name is Rosie for a dog that is not red? I mean, she's a cute little cocker spaniel, give her a name that fits....like Lulu, or Snickers.....and she got along great with my dog, who I named Bailey in honor of that great American hero from that Wonderful Life movie. Because he likes to help people.....the way I do!

(She is trying not to get emotional, not succeeding too well.)

But you never noticed! You never noticed anything!

How I brought along those books to help you with raising your dog, and training your dog not to run in the street....like those homemade cookies for you and your dog......

(She looks around, realize she could be talking to herself.)

Okay, I'm getting a little nervous in here...what if you forgot me? Have you forgotten me?

That dog's owner never paid attention to me! ......(Thinks) Yes, I know his name.........the owner......it's......(says it with affection, even though she's trying not to) ...Bryan......with an 'a' not an 'o'

I just wanted him to pay attention! To .......me! I mean the dog! (She stops, thinks) I mean....me. I wanted him to see that I wanted him to pay attention to....me. In reality, he takes pretty good care of that dog, that's why, I think he's not such a bad guy. I never see any sign that he treats that dog badly - it's well fed, no bruises or marks.....it's just he doesn't pay enough attention.....(s if listening) .and maybe ....I did this to get his attention....maybe.....(back to herself) or maybe I just love dogs!

(Hears a noise, turns)

What? I can go? The charges have been dropped?

(Listens and smiles)

By Bryan? Yes, that was nice of him.

(She goes to leave the room, waves at the audience in the mirror.)

Well, this was an interesting day. Better than finding a dead skunk on the street.......

(She turns back)

.(Thinks) Maybe I'll make him some more cookies.....I mean I'll make his dog more cookies.....

(Smiles and exits. The end.)

Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 111 by Janet S. Tiger But Wait, There's More (c)June 3, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 111 by Janet S. Tiger But Wait, There's More (c)June 3, 2014

But Wait, There's More

by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(An actor comes out onstage, she is smiling - because she had very little to memorize.)

(Loudly, and with great emotion) But wait, there's more!

(Stops and thinks for a moment)

No, there isn't.

(Turns and exits - really the end.)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of this monologue - more tomorrow.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

This piece is designed to end a show - and it should!

Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monday, June 2, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 110 by Janet S. Tiger Update (c)June 2, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 110 by Janet S. Tiger Update (c)June 2, 2014

Update (for Senior Channel)

by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A woman comes out onstage, she is holding a pile of letters.)

This is wonderful, I just love how ordinary people like me can come onto the Senior Channel and complain. No one else likes to hear me complain, so this is very nice!

(She holds up the letters)

My complaint has to do with updates people send, especially around the holidays.

These are the Christmas updates from my cousin Louise. She's been sending them ever since she was first married. I have that one right here.....

(She holds one up)

I'm not going to read them to you because that would take a lot of time, and then someone would come on complaining about me!

So I will just say that her updates were always in rhyme - she took weeks to write them, and, as her family grew, they got longer.....

(She holds up one that is many pages long)

I have heard many people complain about these updates - and that is my complaint. Not the updates, but the people who complain about them.

Why? Because last year, my cousin Louise was hit by a truck, and she died instantly, which was good, I suppose, because had she lived, it would not have been easy. So Louise will not write her update this Christmas, and I will miss it. And those who complain can just throw the letters out if they want, because if I had my way, I would be happy to read Louise's update.

(She turns to go, looks back.)

Unless of course, she figures out how to send one from heaven! And if anyone could do it, Louise could!

(She smiles and exits. The end of Louise's updates....we think.)
---------------------------------------------------------
This one honors cousin Debbie - may she rest in peace. We will always miss her wonderful yearly updates - in rhyme!

Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 109 by Janet S. Tiger Moving Day Blues (c) June 1, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 109 by Janet S. Tiger Moving Day Blues (c)June 1, 2014

by Janet S. Tiger

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A teenage girl comes out onstage - dressed in black, very upset.)

I am in black and I don't care! I am in black because I am mourning my old home and no one cares! So I don't care if we just moved to a better neighborhood, grandma, I miss my old neighborhood! I miss my old friends and my old school, and my old everything! And no one understands me!

(Listens)

Grandma, I am sorry to interrupt you, but I HAVE heard this story before - about a hundred times! About how you moved and it was great and after you got used to it, everything was just GREAT!

Well, grandma, you are not me! Even if we like the same ice cream, and even if our hair is the same color, I still hate this place and I always will! I liked my old room better! Even though the new room is bigger, I don't care - did you hear me? I don't care! And I know it's nice to be closer to you and grandpa, and we can help drive you places and we can go to the movies together, but it's still not the same! I like the same! Even when I was little, I liked the same! I hated to go to the next grade, because it meant a new teacher, and I hated to buy a new coat, because then I would have to like the new coat, and the old coat would feel left out, so no matter WHAT you say, nothing will change my mind!

(Listens)

What? No, I haven't met anyone here yet.......

(She looks out the window.)

Yeah, she looks nice. And she has a cute boyfriend, just what i don't need, a new friend with a cute boyfriend and if he asks me out she'll hate me and spread rumors about me all over the Internet!

(Listens, looks out the window again, do we see a hint of a smile?)

Oh, that's her brother. Well, that's different then.

(Listens)

Well, maybe if you know them, I mean you are neighbors and all....okay, we can go and meet them. But it won't change anything!

(She turns to go)

What did you say his name was?

(As she leaves, we hear her ....)

That's a cool name......

(Exits - the beginning of the end of hating the new place)

Janet S. Tiger 858-274-9678
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8