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first year - Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015 second year - Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016 third year - Feb. 13, 2016 fourth year Feb. 14, 2017- Feb. 13, 2018 - now in year five - Feb. 14 - today!
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Monologue Mania Days # 1772, 1773,Happy New Year! (part two) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30, 31, 2018
The monologues below - and the two posted yesterday - all deal with the New Year - and I am reposting them and wishing all a wonderful, Happy, Healthy New Year! Thank you for reading and sharing!
Where it Goes
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2015 tigerteam1@gmail.com
(Onstage drifts the actor, in no apparent rush, smiling, without a care in the world)
Hello, I am so happy to see you! I love being me! I have the best job in the world! What do you mean, you don't understand where you are?
You asked for it, with your incessant questions, your constant complaints, I'm surprised you have questions! I'll give you a clue........see over there.....
(Points into the distance)
That is the valley of wasted......and over there is very misty......misty water colored memories of course!
(Lifts a bottle from a pocket)
And of course, this is the bottle......where some is kept.
(Smiles and hums a bit of 'If I could keep time in a bottle' then waltzes to another side of the stage)
Ooh, the beautiful clothing over there is .......all in a timely fashion......
(Head falls, sighs deeply)
But beyond is the graveyard......where it has been killed....and just past that, wounds that have healed...or is it......the wounded heels!
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger © all rights reserved 2015 tigerteam1@gmail.com
Hello, I am so happy to see you! I love being me! I have the best job in the world! What do you mean, you don't understand where you are?
You asked for it, with your incessant questions, your constant complaints, I'm surprised you have questions! I'll give you a clue........see over there.....
(Points into the distance)
That is the valley of wasted......and over there is very misty......misty water colored memories of course!
(Lifts a bottle from a pocket)
And of course, this is the bottle......where some is kept.
(Smiles and hums a bit of 'If I could keep time in a bottle' then waltzes to another side of the stage)
Ooh, the beautiful clothing over there is .......all in a timely fashion......
(Head falls, sighs deeply)
But beyond is the graveyard......where it has been killed....and just past that, wounds that have healed...or is it......the wounded heels!
Guessed yet?
Yes, you have come to the land of WhereTimeGoes.......you asked for it, you got it!
That's why I am in no rush - ever! Because there is always plenty of time here, because this is where time goes....after it has been wasted, and killed, and lost and misspent....piles and piles of it here....the sands of time......and I, you may have figured out.... I am the timekeeper....
(Turns to leave, stops, looks back)
And, of course my favorite....time flies like an arrow......fruit flies like a banana!
(Skips offstage leisurely......where did the time go from this last year?)
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First posted Day # 1416 Where it Goes by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30 , 2015
First posted Day # 1416 Where it Goes by Janet S. Tiger (c) Dec. 30 , 2015
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End of Year Memories
by Janet S. Tiger
© 2015 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(An older man enters, holding a 3-oz paper cup, staring at it in awe)
(Over the top Shakespeare-ish) Alas, poor cuppy, I drank from him well!
(He takes the cup as if to crush it, then stops)
Why am I holding this silly little useless cup? I mean, it wasn't useless when I used it to rinse my mouth out a few minutes ago, but now, it is merely detritus.....which is to be distinguished from mere garbage by the way.....and, as it is no longer sanitary, and it is all wilted from the water, by rights I should be discarding it.....my wife has told me...often!....that I need to discard it.
She has told me when I forget to do so.....and sometimes, even when I remember, she reminds me of the...according to her...THOUSANDS ...of times that I have...forgotten.
That is what makes this innocuous little cup so formidable. For, when I do forget, which happens...even more as I age and have a legitimate reason to forget.....when I forget, she reminds me....because this cup represents not just this cup....but ALL the things I have forgotten.
It is a ...what's the word... a SYMBOL...of my many and varied mistakes over our 42 years of marriage. Depending on how irritated she is....we could go back as far as our wedding, where I insulted her cousin Wilma by not dancing with her.....even though the hairs on Wilma's chin were longer than my beard......no matter....still remembered!
And let's not forget the horror of our 25th wedding anniversary, where she had hinted for weeks, no, make that months as the story grows over the years, like a tree of Missed Knowledge.....she had hinted that she wanted this special pearl necklace where the pearls were etched in a BRAND NEW method to say 25 years if you looked at them just so in the right light......but I....I was foolish, and missed these hints, only responding to the fact that our refrigerator broke the day before our anniversary, and I bought a new one and had in installed with a bow on it!
I still don't know why she was so mad......but she has spent the last 17 years trying to explain it! As I'm sure all the women in this audience will be trying to do to their spouses......
And let's not forget the ongoing issue of the cup itself......I take a sip, and I am supposed to put the used utensil into the garbage pail about three feet away. (Smiling) Sometimes I do....and sometimes......ooh, sometimes....I do not....and sometimes she throws it out without saying a word. That's when things are calm on the ocean, when we are laughing and having fun.....but the other times...oh, that's when I see the clouds in the distance, scudding across the sky.....ready to dump their wrath on me!
And so....I make the grievous error of......
(He puts the cup down as if on a counter)
.....not discarding! And then......the clouds burst!
I am entreated to every memory of my forgetfulness! This is the end of the year, and all the stations do their.....'big events of the past 12 months' well, my wife does 42 YEARS of memories ......of my mistakes! I have no worry about her mind slipping because I doubt if any one transgression has been forgotten! Me, on the other hand, I can't remember any of them until she reminds me.....because, to me, they were never that important! And when I tell her that, it is as if - in the midst of the hurricane - she stops to develop a tornado!
I wait until the winds have whipped into a fury, and then.....then I tell her she's always most beautiful when she's angry, and, just like that day 42 years ago, during our first big fight after being married, she stops, and starts to smile, and then she laughs, and the storm is instantly over, and the sun comes through.
(He holds the cup high)
To discard, or not to discard....aye, there's the question......
(He turns to leave, stops, looks back, listens,)
Why not just throw it out now? Now what would be the fun in that!
(He exits, still contemplating the cup and smiling....to another year of memories - wishing everyone a Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year!)
© 2015 all rights reserved
tigerteam1@gmail.com
(An older man enters, holding a 3-oz paper cup, staring at it in awe)
(Over the top Shakespeare-ish) Alas, poor cuppy, I drank from him well!
(He takes the cup as if to crush it, then stops)
Why am I holding this silly little useless cup? I mean, it wasn't useless when I used it to rinse my mouth out a few minutes ago, but now, it is merely detritus.....which is to be distinguished from mere garbage by the way.....and, as it is no longer sanitary, and it is all wilted from the water, by rights I should be discarding it.....my wife has told me...often!....that I need to discard it.
She has told me when I forget to do so.....and sometimes, even when I remember, she reminds me of the...according to her...THOUSANDS ...of times that I have...forgotten.
That is what makes this innocuous little cup so formidable. For, when I do forget, which happens...even more as I age and have a legitimate reason to forget.....when I forget, she reminds me....because this cup represents not just this cup....but ALL the things I have forgotten.
It is a ...what's the word... a SYMBOL...of my many and varied mistakes over our 42 years of marriage. Depending on how irritated she is....we could go back as far as our wedding, where I insulted her cousin Wilma by not dancing with her.....even though the hairs on Wilma's chin were longer than my beard......no matter....still remembered!
And let's not forget the horror of our 25th wedding anniversary, where she had hinted for weeks, no, make that months as the story grows over the years, like a tree of Missed Knowledge.....she had hinted that she wanted this special pearl necklace where the pearls were etched in a BRAND NEW method to say 25 years if you looked at them just so in the right light......but I....I was foolish, and missed these hints, only responding to the fact that our refrigerator broke the day before our anniversary, and I bought a new one and had in installed with a bow on it!
I still don't know why she was so mad......but she has spent the last 17 years trying to explain it! As I'm sure all the women in this audience will be trying to do to their spouses......
And let's not forget the ongoing issue of the cup itself......I take a sip, and I am supposed to put the used utensil into the garbage pail about three feet away. (Smiling) Sometimes I do....and sometimes......ooh, sometimes....I do not....and sometimes she throws it out without saying a word. That's when things are calm on the ocean, when we are laughing and having fun.....but the other times...oh, that's when I see the clouds in the distance, scudding across the sky.....ready to dump their wrath on me!
And so....I make the grievous error of......
(He puts the cup down as if on a counter)
.....not discarding! And then......the clouds burst!
I am entreated to every memory of my forgetfulness! This is the end of the year, and all the stations do their.....'big events of the past 12 months' well, my wife does 42 YEARS of memories ......of my mistakes! I have no worry about her mind slipping because I doubt if any one transgression has been forgotten! Me, on the other hand, I can't remember any of them until she reminds me.....because, to me, they were never that important! And when I tell her that, it is as if - in the midst of the hurricane - she stops to develop a tornado!
I wait until the winds have whipped into a fury, and then.....then I tell her she's always most beautiful when she's angry, and, just like that day 42 years ago, during our first big fight after being married, she stops, and starts to smile, and then she laughs, and the storm is instantly over, and the sun comes through.
(He holds the cup high)
To discard, or not to discard....aye, there's the question......
(He turns to leave, stops, looks back, listens,)
Why not just throw it out now? Now what would be the fun in that!
(He exits, still contemplating the cup and smiling....to another year of memories - wishing everyone a Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year!)
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First posted Day # 687 End of Year Memories by Janet S. Tiger Dec. 30, 2015 I think.....it's possible after so many years, I may be getting a teensy, tiny bit confuddled...or is that befused?
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* Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty
Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315 CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8
