Monologue Mania

Monday, October 27, 2014

Monologue Mania Day# 257 by Janet S. Tiger Dis Pair Oct. 27, 2014

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Monologue Mania Day# 257 by Janet S. Tiger Dis Pair    Oct. 27, 2014

                                             Dis Pair
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

               (A well-dressed black man enters, he holds a bag with a box in it. He has a slight Southern drawl.)

Son, on the wondrous event of your twentieth birthday, I am truly concerned about you....

            (Raises his hands)

No, don't try to argue. You can deny it, but 'de- nile- is not just a river in Egypt.' Sorry, you know I love these awful puns, it is a curse and a blessin'......I think it's genetic.......

Now I understand that bein' a young man in these times is not easy. And bein' a black young man is even more difficult.....

So, on this day of your birthday, early, before anyone else is up to start huggin' and handin' over gifts you really don't need, I am gonna give you a present my daddy gave to me when I was twenty, and his daddy gave to him when he was twenty, and his before him, all told, eight generations of the Mason family. Over one hundred and fifty years. An heirloom. Truly special.

It is a gift which I feel has stood our men well over these many years, held us together when times got tough, and boy, they have been tough. I only hope you can pass this along to your son when he turns twenty, because chances are good, he will need it, too.

So, without further ado, I give you.......dis pair..... And I hope dis pair will change your life forever...

           (He removes a box from the bag, which he opens to show his son)

Dis pair....get it? Dis pair....of shoes! Oh, how we love these silly puns!

          (Holds up the box)

Dis pair will help you know the truth about life, about other people, and how to be a man.....

          (Laughs)

That's right, I'm talkin' about dis pair.......of old shoes....but not just any old pair of shoes, no, this pair is THE pair of shoes that was worn by your great-great-great-great- and five more greats but you know what I mean......your truly great grandfather on the day he was freed from slavery, at the end of the Civil War.

Pretty ugly, huh, dis pair......but lemme tell you, they were even uglier when he wore them as a slave.

Now....you get to wear them. One mile you get to walk in these shoes before we put them back into the box so they stay nice and dry for your son one day. One mile so that you can feel what it felt like to be a slave.... and then free.

   (Listens, nods head)

When my daddy did this for me, I thought he was nuts, too, but I put on dis pair, and he and we walked together for one mile down by the creek. We can do the same thing if you want, or we can go into town, or take a ride on the bus or train, whatever mile you want, son, it's your choice, because you are a free man.

And these shoes are for rememberin' that we weren't always free, and that it is our job, each of us, to keep that freedom so many have died to get.

When I walked in these shoes for that mile, I was just twenty, and I had just come back to visit after I had been ....how had they put it so politely?.....asked to leave college. Kicked out. Full scholarship and I had blown it, just as you are about to do now with those friends of yours, those friends who go to college, too, but waste their time smokin' and drinkin' and playin' those stupid video games. Not that I didn't play those games back a few years ago, but these shoes are no game. Life is no game.....

And you have your whole life ahead of you, and I want you to know what life could have been....so you might re-think some of your choices. Now just like you are thinkin' right at this minute, I thought my daddy was nuttier than that cashew tree, but somethin' happens when you walk in... dis pair....

           (He walks slowly around the stage, head bowed)

....it's almost as if...as if you are back in that time, that you can feel the chains on your soul, the whip on your back........

           (He shudders as he moves)

We finished our walk and I put away the shoes, and got into my car and drove back to college and begged the dean for one last chance. I said I wanted to be outta my fraternity, away from all the temptations! I would live anywhere else, on the dean's back porch, I would wash his car, but I would cut out all the crap and finish college. And I did. And the next year was the year our team got to the Final Four...first and only time we ever did......because of ....dis pair........and because I was seen by millions on TV, I got dozens of offers of jobs, and I have had a good life, just like you can, if you take what you learn to heart. And to soul….(smiles) especially the soles of your feet!

            (He holds out the shoes)

I have faith you can do this, son......let's go, it's time for us to take a walk.

(He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Dis pair. The best mile you will ever walk is in...dis pair.......

          (He laughs as exits...not in despair)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Sunday, October 26, 2014

Monologue Mania Day# 256 by Janet S. Tiger Mother's Choice Oct. 26, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

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Monologue Mania Day# 256 by Janet S. Tiger Mother's Choice    Oct. 26, 2014

                                               Mother's Choice (from Frozen)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(This is a mother, and it shows. She is no longer young, but still has fight left in her. She is tired, and yet, there is a great strength that burns in her, and she is telling the doctor what fuels that strength.)

People ask me if this is my worst nightmare. I tell them my worst nightmare was thinking that my baby boy was dead. Now that I know he's not, this is not a nightmare, it is a journey.

All lives have a journey. Every journey is different.

Is mine worse than a mother who finds out her baby is dead inside of her and that she can have no more children of her own?

I don' think so. I have had my Tommy for 28 years - five have been in this coma, but before that, he was a lively fellow, and I was very proud of him. He was the star running back on the football team. He is a tough but funny young man who loves to laugh.

I say 'is' because I know he is still in there. I can feel it. If I for one moment felt he was dead, I would have let them pull that plug at the very beginning.

But I knew then, and I know now he is my Tommy, and even if every person on this earth told me I was wrong, I would not care.

It's funny, at the very beginning, when he was still healing from the crash, I could tell he didn't want to be alive. I could hear it in my heart. And I would cry when I got home because I didn't want him to see me with doubts. But that was just the pain talking. I knew there would come a day when he would realize that life is better. That every person has a reason for living.

That's why I come every day to talk with him.

Sometimes at the start I hired other people, but I realized that they did not believe like I do, and I never wanted him to feel he was alone.

(This builds) Today he may be unable to move one muscle in his body. He may have to have every physical need attended to by strangers. He may have to eat with a tube and be subjected to every kind of human indignity possible - but he is in there! And one day, he will be better, because I know that there has to be another person who believes like I do, that where there is life, there is hope! I know now that is not you, Dr. Evans, but that does not mean I will give up!

(She takes her coat and puts it on, still angry. She turns to go, stops, looks back)

And if I have to spend every last day of my life to find him, to get a doctor who believes like I do, then that is what my life is to be - that is my journey.

(She exits, end of scene.)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Saturday, October 25, 2014

Monologue Mania Day# 255 by Janet S. Tiger Operation Firefly- opening scenes Oct. 25, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

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Monologue Mania Day# 255 by Janet S. Tiger Operation Firefly - opening scenes    Oct. 25, 2014
    Another monologue from this movie is on Day #58

   Operation Firefly (opening scenes)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

             (It is dark and there is the sound of men breathing, then the sound of something...is it a person running? The visuals are fast, frightening, soldiers running, a glimpse of something, then the face of a frightened soldier, and another soldier who is in charge. Everything stops suddenly, breaths are held and there is a shot that rings out. Blackness.

            Then laughter, and we see the soldiers, all black, around a campfire, roasting a small animal, enjoying a story that will grow over the years. One of the men takes a bite off a stick, and is very happy. This is Jonah, and he is a big guy, and he waves the stick in the air)

Whoooeeee! Well, this is the best meal I've had since I been in this here army! Mmmmm.....and this is the most excitement we have had since we have joined this here army and come to this goddamned place in the middle of nowhere!

Damned rabbits! At least we get a midnight snack, well, I for one will not be here for much longer, my friends......

(The others are amazed and respond with surprise)

That's right, my friends, I am gettin' outta here, to some place better'n this! And I am gonna get to jump outta planes!

      (He illustrates by leaping to his feet and then going to a rock and jumping off)
The others laugh and point. He listens, laughs)

I heard you, Walter. (Imitates a high pitched voice, mocking) 'Drop outta planes? What the hell you talkin' about? They musta dropped you on your head when you was a baby!'

You heard me - I am gonna be a paratrooper, jump into the middle of the German lines....or the Japs, and I am gonna kill me a million of 'em. And I'm gonna write back to alla you here, on this goddamned hot desert and you are gonna wish you signed up with me!

It's a buddy of mine, from back when we were in school together, and he wrote me and told me it was a top secret mission, and they only want us. Can you believe it? Only us. So I said 'hell yeah!' anythin' to get me the hell outta this boilin' hot place with food so spicy and no decent ribs for a thousand miles! I would sign up with the devil himself to make sure I was gonna get outta this place!

And I am givin' alla you the same opportunity!    We can sign up together! They need a whole 10 platoons - 300 guys! We can do it! Come on! Are you gonna sit here and sweat out every night on this border knowin' that not one Jap is tryin' to sneak through these damn cactusus when they have perfectly good submarines!

Are you gonna wait for another damn rabbit to give you a tiny bit of excitement and a story you gonna make up for your family? Are you gonna be men....army men? Or are you gonna be......

             (He stamps his foot down and picks up a small animal by the tail)

Mice?

          (Next shot will be of Jonah and his friends in a truck, with his buddies shaking their heads. End of scene)

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Based on a true story - http://triplenickle.com/history.htm Another monologue from this movie is on Day #58

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Friday, October 24, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 254 by Janet S. Tiger The Sad Tail of Lord Ratburn Oct. 24, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

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Monologue Mania Day # 254 by Janet S. Tiger  The Sad Tail of Lord Ratburn Oct. 24, 2014

The Sad Tail of Lord Ratburn
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A man comes on stage, dressed in gray. Very gray. All gray. Gray hair, beard too, he has on perhaps a grey grey suit and grey hat and a very gray tail that he is holding in his hand. He is smoking a cigarette. He has a veddy British accent.)

Well hello hello my name is Lord Ratburn...that is correct... Ratburn, not with an 'h' like Rathburn, although I am filled with the grapes of wrath. (Louder) Rathburn! You see, I come from a very long and illustrious line of rats. My ancestors crawled in the castles of kings and queens!

Now, some people might think that rats are not worthy of living on this earth.

But, I remind you silly humans on this senior channel that there are more of us than there are of you ...so keep an eye open when you sleep at night! that rustling you hear may be one of us.....one of my family. Well, maybe not my descendants.

(He is very affected now, wipes a tear away)

Why do I cry? It is simple. I am here today because I have a sadness on my family. I am the very last of my line, my other relatives- every last one of them.....(very dramatic) ....DEAD! Murdered by your delicious treats that are filled with horrible chemicals that make us dehydrate horribly - it is a terrible death!

The only reason I live is because I am for some genetic anomoly, I am immune to your poisons.

I have watched my family decimated, parents, siblings, all my wives! Yes, I tried to procreate but it seems that the same ability to resist your poison also renders me sadly.....unable to reproduce.... impotent.

Not that I haven't tried....many times. To no avail. It is a blank legacy I leave behind....andI am sure you are all happy to hear this. I am NOT.

But I hereby inform you that I will, to my very last moments on this fair planet (thinks) oh, what a fair planet! But until my last breath I will search up your yummy foods that you keep in your cupboards..... I will sleep in the clothing in your closets..... and I will poop where ever I please .....maybe even in your drawers!

And I will say that the death of my family will be avenged because you will never know where I will be seen. I have lived for many years and I will leave behind a legacy of insurrection second only to that of the colonies so many years ago. A regular rat revolution!

(He indicates the lighter for his cigarette)

You see this?

This is a weapon as well as a warmer. One of my dear relatives was caught by a horrid little man who thought it would be very amusing to light my uncle's tail on fire and watch him burn alive. Is it any reason I am cynical? Angry? Ready to kill?

And then my uncle, who was a very smart rat, saw his tail was on fire and jumped onto the horrid man, who became very upset, and kicked my uncle onto the grass of the back lawn.

Which was very dry, and my uncle ran through the grass, lighting it afire! The horrid murderer was also screaming, as his shirt was burning through, so he could not catch my uncle when my uncle ran into the horrid man's house, and proceeded to set the entire place ablaze!

It was a feat of great daring, bravery and wisdom, as my uncle's final act was running up the tailpipe of the man's car.

The explosion finished off the house and garage - and it is a tale told often around many a cheese.

Why do I tell you this? Because it is time you humans realized that you have been vicious, and hurtful and nasty and not particularly nice to your fellow animals.....and now we want you truly understand that.... you .(says this loudly and clearly)......are...... not alone!

One day we, that is all of us! All the animals and insects will put aside their differences, and work together, and humans will not have a chance. Between the ants, and the birds and we rats, combined with the billions of other insects and animals......we are superior! We just need to take a lesson from your American Natives - we must forget our past of fighting each other, and we must stop eating each other, and focus....on eating all of you!

(Very loud, very angry)

We will not go quiet into that good night! We will Rage, rage against the dying and my plight.....this is a rodent's story, full of sound of furry......

Think about it the next time you put out one of those horrid traps....or the dreaded poison that decimated my entire clan.......

(He takes his tail grandly and turns to leave, stops, looks back)

We are watching you.....

(He takes the lighter and goes to light his tail as he exits....end of scene, but not of ....Lord Ratburn's legacy!)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 253 by Janet S. Tiger Backstory Oct. 23, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

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Monologue Mania Day# 253 by Janet S. Tiger   Backstory Oct. 23, 2014

   Backstory
   (for the Senior Channel)
                             A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (The wheelchair rolls on and the man in it is bent over. He faces the audience with great difficulty, removing his hat, he has a very slight Southern accent.)

Hello, my fellow old people on this senior channel.....please forgive me for not getting up, I no longer have that option, but as you can see, I have removed my hat out of deference to the kind ladies watching.

And, unlike others I have heard on this channel, I will also be careful not to use language that would offend those innocent ears.

I am here today to give you my backstory.....as I am an actor who loves to still be the center of attention when I can.

My back story is simple....I was born, I lived life to its fullest, and my back is killin' me....literally. I have some awful thing that has spread to my spine, which sounds bad enough, but it also allows me to receive some heavy duty medication. Medication that, when I used it in my youth, almost put me in jail!   But I was lucky, and only ended up in a hospital, where I met a nurse....could you see that twist?.....who became my first wife and the mother of my children. Some who give me great pleasure, others....well, we all know that part of the story.

As an actor, I know that the climax is the most vital part of the story. As in many life events, people will put up with almost anything for a great climax!

So, for those of you waiting for my funeral, and I know there are a few, I plan to have all my money spent sayin' goodbye to all the friends and some of the family I loved so well.

For all you watching, you are invited, too! Please keep tuned to this channel for the latest, I hope to see you all there!

          (He sits up straighter and starts to wheel out, stops, looks back)

Because, my friends, I plan to attend my funeral while still alive!

   (He rolls off laughing....to a great end.)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 252 by Janet S. Tiger The Lobster Story Oct. 22, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

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Monologue Mania Day # 252 by Janet S. Tiger   The Lobster Story Oct. 22, 2014

   The Lobster Story
                               (from Time Travel Cafe - expanded today for a fuller backstory)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Guy walks out and takes a big drink of coffee, puts down the cup, wipes his mouth)

(Hard to say) You see, my Dad walked out on us when I was five, and I swore I would never do that to my kids. And now look at me, I'm doing the same thing. Ok, my boy's 10, does that mean I get a prize for waiting an extra five years? But I can't stay with her! I mean, I don't think I can.....I feel like, like a ……a lobster....

(He looks at the waitress)

I see you laughing, but you know how they cook lobsters in fancy restaurants? They put em into warm water, so the lobster is happy, cause it's like a hot tub, and the lobster starts looking around - look at all these cute girl lobsters! What a great night! For a very few minutes everything is just perfect, the water, the girls......no one ever knows what's about to happen....

And then the heat is turned up....

(He takes off his tie.)

And the lobster starts thinking, hmm, forget about the girls, better get out of here, it's getting too hot for me, and he tries to climb out and .......

(Getting desperate)

….there's no way out! The walls are too slippery, and it's damn hot now.....and then...

(He is frantic now, looking for a way out, his shirt is off)

And then, you feel it's getting beyond hot, that you have that mortgage, and your wife wants a new car, which you can't really afford, but you say yes because maybe one of those girls in the office who just got outta school, and she's real cute maybe you want her to see you in a new car......

(He puts his hands on a wheel, drives around the stage)

So you give your wife your old car.....and then.....and then she takes the car one day and finds something in there ....under the seat maybe......

(He takes a pair of fancy lady's underpants from his pocket)

And that's it....you're boiled. It's the same story, the same lobster........

(He goes to the table, sits, his head is heavy)

You know how it ends.....delicious for someone, but.....

(His head is almost on the table)

Not so good for the lobster......

(His head drops on the table. Lights out. End of scene)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 251 by Janet S. Tiger Changes Oct. 21, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

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Monologue Mania Day # 251 by Janet S. Tiger Changes Oct. 21, 2014

(Special note - to watch a video of this monologue by Sunny Griffin, please click here and yes, it is the Sunny Griffin. Sunny has appeared in two productions of my work - Tiger's Tales in 2019 and Starlight in 2025. This video is from the 2025 production. For more info, please check out my website janetwtiger.weebly.com)

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A woman comes up on stage, confident, she smiles to the audience.)

No, it's all right, my name is Amanda Hatch and I'm not nervous. Not anymore. I used to be very afraid of speaking in front of an audience. In fact, there were many things I was afraid of - meeting people, flying, sleeping in a different bed.....but I have made a lot of changes recently and it was all because of a visit to the doctor.

It was just my regular annual check-up and they did the regular things, .....and a mammogram. (harder to talk about) Those are never fun, but....this time....(Snaps out of it) Anyhow, I felt perfectly healthy. No problems.... So it was a complete surprise when they told me I had cancer, and that it was a very unpleasant kind and that there was a good chance that....(swallows hard) I was going to die.....very soon. It felt like...you know those pendulums in clocks like Big Ben? Like that hit me......and then kept hitting me as if it was 100 o'clock!

Well, let me tell you, if that doesn't change your life, I don't know what will! Suddenly, talking in front of a crowd seemed much less worrisome!

And so I decided if this was the end for me, I was going to make some big changes. The next day, I called up, and I went skydiving.

I've always been scared of heights, and the one time I flew in a plane I was sick the whole trip. I even took the bus home so I wouldn't have to do that again!

And now, I have actually jumped out of a plane! (Happy) Usually it takes awhile to get to jump, but I explained what happened, and they took me up right away with an instructor holding me all the way down..... And it was amazing! I loved every minute! I don't remember even being a little afraid, and the sensations! Like a bird!

And once I did that, the next change was that I quit my job. I always hated working for Mr. Delbing - he was cheap and he didn't appreciate how much I did for his company! But now, I had my excuse. Funny thing, once I quit - he called me up to tell me how much he missed me - even offered me my job back with more money! Ain't life weird?

But the biggest change was talking to people. I'd always been nervous to speak with someone new - to be honest, even people I'd worked with for years! Now, it didn't matter what they thought of me - I found out, I just didn't care! What freedom! What exhiliration! and this was all in the first three days after the results!......(Sighs)

And then...... I got the phone call....(Shakes her head in disbelief) It was a mistake. It seems that, in an odd coincidence, there was another A. Hatch, and she was the one who was sick, not me.

So, have I made all these changes for nothing? Hell, no! I realized that I could change without something horrible happening, and so now I try new things all the time. I'm even going out with my skydiving instructor and....... Mr. Delbing! So my advice - don't wait for a pendulum to smack you in the head. Make those changes today!

(She starts to walk offstage, then turns back)

Oh, and I did change one other thing -...my doctor!

(She exits. Definitely not the end)

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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