Monday, September 21, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #586 No Coupon! by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 21, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #586 No Coupon! by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 21, 2015

                                        No Coupon!
                                   (for the Senior Channel)
                               A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     © all rights reserved

         (The small Asian woman who comes onstage is very excited, almost vibrating.  She comes to the edge of the stage and peers out at the audience)

Hello!  Hello! 

They tell me to say hello to everyone watching on Senior Channel!  Am very happy to be here!

         (Hears something from the side, listens)

Okay, I tell story now.

         (Faces audience again, smiles)

I work at store as cashier now over five years.  Good cashier.  Work hard.  Very hard.  Many hours on feet.  Work at 99 cent store, always busy.  Never enough cashier.  Sometimes no break for HOURS! 

But get lots of days to work, so I can help family back in Cambodia.  My mother still in Cambodia.  She tell me, always tell truth, but when she ask, how long before we can come to America, I tell her always....soon.  Because that is the truth in my heart.......I tell her I work hard to save money....she ask if I like where I work.....I tell her the truth.....I am glad to have job.

          (Listens, nods)

Okay, getting to rest of story.  99 cent store not like other store, people know.   But some people not very smart, they forget 99 cent not like Von's

So one day, lady come through my checkstand.  Older lady like me.  You think older lady mean she get smarter, but that not always true.

She put all items on stand, and I go through them, fast, like always.  Time to pay, lady, cash or card?  And she poking in purse, so I pack her bunch of things up in bags.

She still looking, then she get big smile on face, like she won lottery.  (Imitates woman)  Oh, I found it!  (As herself, sneering)  Like she found diamond or something!  But no, she wave paper at me.  Not money, paper.

(Imitates)  I have a coupon!

(As herself)  No coupons.  I tell her.  99 cent store no take coupons.

(Imitates woman)  But it's for the V-8!

(As herself)  No coupon.  Not for V-8 or anything.

Big line now behind woman.  Always big lines, but sometimes bigger.  And this woman she not care at all.  I don't like that!  I like my line to go fast.  I take pride in good work, fast check. Have many friends who come through my line because they know I do good job!

But lady don't care!  She wave coupon in front of me like I am animal!  She asks to see manager.  I no want manager!  Look bad!    But she getting loud, manager come over.  He young. Name Bobby. Not like when line slow down.

'What problem?' He ask.......I tell him and he say...'no coupon'  and now lady getting mad.  She want us to take coupon! 

Manager Bobby point to sign on register.  Sign say..'no check'  'no cash back'..'no coupon'   Lotsa no, but lady, she wanna hear 'yes'

Manager start looking at me and I get scared.  Need job, don't want to look for new job because stupid lady stupid! 

And I am tired.  Long day!  Lotsa people, bags breaking, babies crying!  One minute, I am calm, next minute..... something happen to me!  I start yelling at stupid lady, I yell - NO COUPON!  Can't you hear lady?  NO COUPON!  It 99 cent store!  We never take coupon!  Go to Von's and pay five dollah for V-8 bottle and they will take your stupid coupon for 35 cents!  But if you want to shop here....

      (She indicates the audience join her)

(Screaming)  NO COUPON!  NO COUPON!  NOOOOOOO COUPON!

      (She calms down a bit and takes a breath)

Even though all customers join in.....manager fire me! 

Fire me for yelling at stupid customer!  I tell him - I need job, but I don't care anymore!  You stupid like her, you take her coupon!

      (She wipes her hands together forcefully)

I leave checkstand and go to get things!  And the people they start to cheer me!  One man say, look....and he show me his phone.  He record me.....and all over world....people like me!  They say I am right!  After all these years listening to stupid people and saying  (fake sweet)  ok, m'am, ok sir, no problem if you stupid like cow, I be nice......when I tell truth, people like me!

And they call me...'no coupon lady' - and owner of 99 cent store see me on youtube..he hire me back! turn out lotta people hate waiting behind people with coupon!...- they do big ad campaign!  All because I tell truth....

      (She turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Do you remember what truth is?  Do we take coupon...NO.....NO COUPON!

       (She exits waving at crowd.  The end.....for coupons at 99)


--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Sunday, September 20, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #585 Stolen by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 20, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #585 Stolen  by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 20, 2015

                                               Stolen
                                   A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     © all rights reserved

            (The woman comes onstage - she is a teenager, dressed in 1940s clothing, very upset, slight European accent)
 
I'm so sorry!  I didn't mean to do it......really!  I never took anything before.....I just....wanted something new....something pretty....it was just a photo frame I took, nothing fancy.....
 
(Begging)  Please.....I don't want to go to jail....I'm so embarrassed.....I did it just because....well, on my social security I can't buy many things, everything is so expensive.....
 
          (She looks around, seeing a different time)
 
Years ago....when I was young, the Nazis came and I had to leave my home, in Austria....to go far away, without my parents.  I had a doll, a favorite doll, a beautiful doll, and it was the only thing they allowed me to take that wasn't clothing or underwear.  I held that doll on the train, but then I fell asleep, crying, because I wondered when I would see my parents again. 
 
I woke up to find that someone had taken my doll, I ran around crying and yelling and looking for my doll, and they told me to stop crying, not to make noise....to be quiet.  It was dangerous to make noise....
 
So I stopped crying.  I learned.....to keep quiet.  Not to be noticed.  But inside, something happened to me. 
When I got to England, the first time I was able to get away from the family that took me in, I went to a store in London.....and I stole a doll.  It looked a little like the one I had, but not really, just enough to cry over.  I hid it from the family so they would never know that they had taken in a thief.
 
(Trying not to cry)  That stolen doll represented everything that I was losing......my parents, my friends, the life I knew.....if everything I loved could be taken from me, what difference did anything make? So what if I took some silly doll?  Or lipstick?  Or a five-dollar bill from a purse left open next to me on the bus?
 
(Almost in tears)  But I'm not really a thief.....I'm 87 years old now, and I really didn't want that nice shiny photo frame ....the frame with the picture of that nice family ......I just....want back....all those memories that were stolen....from me....
           (She bows her head.  Lights down.)
      

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Saturday, September 19, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #584 Of the Earth by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 19, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #584  by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 19, 2015

                                Of the Earth
                                         A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                             © all rights reserved

       (A man comes onstage dressed in the clothing of a time long, long ago.  He carries a bag and is holding a small container which he waves at the audience.)

Come, my friends, come see.....I have traveled a far distance to bring you this amazing wonder!  Behold, one and all.......

       (He opens the container and shows it to the crowd)

I have here the finest merchandise in the entire world!  This is what I have brought from the land of....Bulgaria.....from the ancient mines of Solnitsata.....the best for all your needs......for preserving your meats, for saving your fish and even trading with your neighbors who could come here today to this fine market.....

I offer you the chance to have this amazing material......and I can tell you that even a few grains could save a life, as I myself have done.....for I have changed the course of history with my goods.....

Just a few years ago, I was traveling on a dusty road many miles from here, in a country which had just endured a terrible war.  Although the armies were not too near.....the people needed my wares, which is why I was there.  But perhaps I was there for other reasons......for I encountered on that hot day a group surrounding and protecting an older man who was very ill. 

Although he had a strong physique, he was laying on the ground, shaking as if in a storm.  His eyes were wild, and his skin burned.  They had given him water, but he was delirious.

I offered my assistance and some did not want me to come near the man, but the others knew he was very ill, and so they took a chance on a simple traveling man.

And they were lucky, as I had seen just his ailment during a terrible heat wave in the deserts of Egypt, when souls are lucky to survive during the windstorms that suck the life from all.

For the man was suffering from the lack of.......

       (He waves the box)

Of.....salt.....a few grains in a glass of water.   I told them it was magic that I had carried across the world......he took a sip and within moments, his eyes cleared and he sat up, a new man.  The others treated me with respect, and he took me in his arms and told me that I had saved a king.

You heard me correctly....a king!  A man whose salvation saved a nation, and in so doing, altered the very course of the history of this world!

All for just a few grains.....

So.....you now have the chance to be the one ....the one who can work miracles....

        (He smiles at the crowd, waves)

Come one, come all......I have my stand over here.....I give you that very opportunity for a very small price....only a tiny bit of gold......for a few grains.......it is so very little to ask.....

       (He turns to leave, indicating they should follow)

For the salt of the earth.....

       (He exits.  Lights down)
        
--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Friday, September 18, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #583 Lies (the Rabbi's Mother) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 18, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #583 Lies (the Rabbi's Mother)  by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 18, 2015

           This monologue is designed to work with tomorrow's monologue as a duo - but each will stand alone.

                                                 Lies
                                     (The Rabbi's mother)
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                     © all rights reserved

        (The older woman enters, this is the mother of the rabbi from Day # 582, dressed in the style of the 30s-40s, moving slowly, she is not well.  Eastern European accent)


Thank you, Mona, for coming over.....I have a big favor to ask you.....have a seat, I'll get the girl to bring some coffee and pastry.....fresh from that new bakery....still good and maybe even warm!

(Sighs)  I'm tired. 

          (Waves her hand)

Don't worry about me....I'm not afraid.  It's my time soon.....I just....want to ....how can I tell you?  It's about a lie.  No, not a lie I told......

My son lied to me....he is lying to me every day.....

How do I know?  I know.

He told me that his brother, David.....you know the one who went to Israel......he tells me David is alive......when I know.....David is dead......

         (Puts up both hands)

You know what I mean!  David is dead for many years now....five I think.  How do I know that?  You have children, Mona, you know there is a fine string from our hearts to their heart.....and when that string breaks, you know.......I may not know the details, maybe I never want to know them....but one night, just before my son left for California to see David, I woke in a flash......and I knew I would never see David again.

My boy is a good boy, he sends me letters and checks....forgeries...all supposedly from David......and I know it's all a lie.....and by having to pretend he's still alive, by not having to grieve......I suppose I could not get depressed like when Yossel died....so I continue to pretend one day I will see him again.....and now I know that time is near.....

          (Listens)

What do I want you to say?  I want you to tell me if I should let him know....that I know.  So that the burden will be off his shoulders.......

This will be my last big decision before I die.........to tell or not to tell.....

         (She turns to look at the rabbi on the other side of the stage)

Except for the other big decision.....what I am wearing to my own funeral?

         (She laughs as the lights freeze on her.  End of scene)

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8









Thursday, September 17, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #582 Lies (The Rabbi) by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 17, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #582  Lie (The Rabbi) by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 17, 2015

                This monologue is designed to work with tomorrow's monologue as a duo - but each will stand alone.

                                                  The Lie
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                © all rights reserved

           (The rabbi is dressed from the 1950s orthodox, with a long coat, beard, yarmulke.  He enters hesitantly, nods.  Eastern European accent)

Thank you, my friend, I'm glad you could see me.  It's funny, sometimes you, a priest, come to me, a rabbi, and now, I come to you for advice.  Life is strange, don't you think?

        (Listens, nods)

A cup of tea would be nice.....and yes, something stronger would be nicer......

        (He paces)

It's funny, the ten commandments are interpreted differently ....for you, it is 'thou shalt not lie'...for us, thou shalt not bear false witness.....lying under oath is against the rules.....but a little white lie....a wife asks is her hat pretty.....yes, it is.....because why hurt her feelings?

(Sighs)  But at what point is it.....a lie.  Not little.  I told my mother a lie.  Yes, when I was child I told her lies, all children do, but I'm talking about now.....five years ago.

I lied to my mother......I told her that her son.....was alive.

There were three of us brothers......the oldest brought us all here to the United States, after my father died, before the war. 

Yossel caught a fever one day, he was dead two days later.  Buried on a Friday.......my mother disintegrated....I thought she would die, too.  But Yossel left a wife, two small children, it kept her busy. 

Then David moved to Hollywood, to go into the movies.  He was never as religious as the rest of us.  

        (He takes a sip of tea)

I got the phone call when I was preparing my sermon......the sermon was on carefulness.....to be careful while studying, to look at each word to find the meaning.  I remember because the call was to tell me my brother had been hit by a bus in Los Angeles.....dead.  A bus.  In New York, people are killed all the time by busses....but in Los Angeles?  Who knew they even had busses?

        (He puts his head in his hands)

I was going to tell her....I swear!  But she was still upset about Yossel.....and....I just couldn't.  I thought I would do it after I got back so I told her David needed to see me about a career move, and I was going to visit him.

David had given my number and address for emergencies.   So when I got there, it was easy to pretend he was still alive......

Who calls from 3000 miles?   Maybe one day, it will be cheaper to phone people up......but my mother never expected a phone call.  Even now.....But letters.......I wrote in David's handwriting....forged.....I did that when we needed papers before the war.....I was very good.....but the letters....how my mother loved them!

And because he was hit by a bus, there was a settlement from the city.  I took some of the money and sent it to my mother.  She was so proud to have a successful son/  And so I told her.....he had done well, and was moving.....to Israel.

She was very upset, but also very happy for him, especially when his letters told of his love for his new land.  Why didn\t he see her on the way to Israel?  Because he went via Hawaii....and Asia.......and he continued to send money......as a rabbi, I have many friends who travel....many people who helped in my deception......I told some of them, but not others.....the lie spreading like honey......catching me in its sweet stickiness....

Did I lie to just protect her?  Or did I lie because I was afraid she would be so hurt to know the truth?

        (Listens)

So what's the problem?  What is the problem.......the problem is.....my mother is dying.....a cancer eating her from the inside.....and she wants to see her son......one more time before she dies.....

What do I do, my friend?  Do I tell her the truth?  Or keep sending letters that say David is not well enough to travel?  Where will the lie end?

I'm sorry to burden you.....although I know you've heard much worse.......I suppose, it's hard for a rabbi to admit that he has made such a mistake.....or is a mistake?  Has she been happier not knowing he's gone?  ......Or does she know?

I'm not asking for an answer now......we have a little time......just think about it, and let me know what you would....if it was your mother......

          (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

 When I was younger, I used to think that if I studied hard enough, I could learn anything.  But as I get older, I realize......the more I study, the less I know.  Perhaps one day, I will awaken to realize, that I know absolutely nothing.....about everything.....

         (Lights down on him.  End of scene)

--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8








Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #581 Does This Photo Make Me Look....by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 16, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #581 Does This Photo Make Me Look....by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 16, 2015

                    Does This Photo Make Me Look....
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                © all rights reserved

           (The man is older, and he has a scarf around his neck that he is playing with as he enters)


There you are....thank goodness!  I can set all the records straight, oh, maybe that isn't the best word to use now........you want to know if I am really truly gay or straight....well.....the answer is a definite....'yes'!  I have been straight - when I was married for over 30 years....and I have been gay....since the day I was born.......so I hope that answers your question......

           (Listens)

Am I upset?  Definitely and completely!  .It's not that they put this whole thing on page 1 of the local news....it's not that they spelled my name incorrectly...it's not even that they outed me in front of all of my friends and family...because at age 79, everyone has known for years that I am gay.....

           (Listens)

What is it?  It's that photo!  Why did they have to pick that photo!

           (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

It's not that I look so gay in that outfit....I am gay.......it's just that......(sad)  ....Doesn't that photo make me look so....old?

           (He exits to a new life of honesty - thank you, Joel Grey)


--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8







Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #580 Cheat Code by Janet S. Tiger Sept. 15, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 13, 2015
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - 
click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, 
click here  There are now over 565!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - 
MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -
            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #580 by Janet S. Tiger  Sept. 15, 2015

                                           Cheat Code
    
                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   
                                                © all rights reserved


             (The teenager runs onstage with a controller for a video game following the game all over - into the audience, back up to the stage.)

Come on!  Stay in the game!  Jeez!  I thought this would be easier, especially since I got the code.....

          (Jumps up, lands and rolls)

Why did I think I could win even with the code.......damn cheat code!  It's hard even with the code!

          (Plays furiously standing in one spot, then leaps and cheers!)

I did it!  I beat the game!  I won! 

          (Sits down heavily, still happy)

It was worth every penny!  Jeez......my whole allowance!  But I won, I succeeded.....no matter what they call me in gym class.....or at lunch....or....anywhere......they can't take this away!

         (Gets up, slower now, looks at the control, shakes head)

I guess I could play again, but.....maybe tomorrow.....

         (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I just wish......I could get a cheat code.....for life......

         (Exits.  Don't we all.......)

-----------------------------------------
Cheat codes for games are real -
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheating_in_video_games#Cheat_codes

Cheat codes for life.....still in the works....



--------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315
JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8