Monologue Mania Day #753 The Senior Channel - first show intro by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 6, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     
     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here  There are now over 730!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #753 The Senior Channel (first intro) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 6,  2016 

        For those who have asked about the origins of The Senior Channel - here is the very beginning.  

  

​

For those tuning in for the first time, the Senior Channel is envisioned as an internet TV show produced for & by seniors about issues relating to aging--often with a humorous twist.  Currently it exists only in the mind of playwright Janet S. Tiger & is manifested as an ongoing collection of interconnected monologues. For other monologues from the Senior Channel, please see Days #  9, 20, 22, 36, 46, 49, 50, 54, 57, 60, 61, 65, 67, 68, 79, 86, 88, 180, 195-6, 312, 328, 379, 398, 401, 403, 414, 416, 503, 505, 553, 575, 586, 684, and 751 

                                        The Senior Channel (first show intro)

                                     A  monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                                                                       tigerteam1@gmail.com  

         (A distinguished man enters, well dressed, with top hat, which he removes and sweeps at the crowd)                    
                                          
Ladies and gentlemen, I am Mr. Senior....or as they will say on the Spanish feed - Senor Senior!

Welcome to my show...the Senior Channel!  I am starting this show to showcase the talents, abilities, and stories of seniors.....and there are those who wonder about the origins...well.....with a name like Senior, I had to wait for years until I reached my potential......50 years to be exact.  Because I use the AARP yardstick for senior - 50 years old and you get your membership card.   Not to be confused with all the other cards in your wallet, your AARP card gives you access to all things old and wonderful......and this show will help you find, understand and appreciate the joys of aging ....all ten minutes of them.

So now, without further ado.....I will introduce you to our very first guest......someone with a good idea.  And I hope you come to join us with your good ideas!  

        (He turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Even if they're not good, we still will put you on, because, from what my grandson told me.....there is no limit to how much empty space there is for more junk on the Internet!

        (He exits.....and so it began!)

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

Monologue Mania Day #752 What's Good for You (revised for The Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 5, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     
     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here  There are now over 730!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #752 What's Good for You (revised for The Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 5,  2016 

      This monologue was first posted on Aug.27, 2014, Day  # 196 

 For those tuning in for the first time, the Senior Channel is envisioned as an Internet TV show produced for and by seniors about issues relating to aging.  For other monologues from the Senior Channel, please see Days #  9, 20, 22, 36, 46, 49, 50, 54, 57, 60, 61, 65, 67, 68, 79, 86, 88, 180, 195-6, 312, 328, 379, 398, 401, 403, 414, 416, 503, 505, 553, 575, 586, 684

                             What's Good for You (alternate ending)
                                         (for THE SENIOR CHANNEL)                                          

                                     A  monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved                                                                                                       tigerteam1@gmail.com  

            (An older man comes onstage, carrying a stack of books and magazines, hard to carry, but he's doing it.  He is very irritated)

Hello everyone!  Like a bad dream and last night's cabbage..... I'm back!

And I have more truth for you all!  Here it is!

          (He opens a book)

Right there, in black and white!  If you eat too many eggs, you will die.  Okay, the book has more pages and a detailed explanation of cholesterol and how it clogs your arteries, and how eggs are bad for you, but the bottom line is - if you eat too many eggs, you will die!

And look at this....

          (He opens a magazine)

Meat!  I have eaten meat since I grew up on a farm in Ohio - and now I find out that meat will kill me, too!

First chickens and their damned eggs, now..... cows!

And let's not forget.....

        (He pulls out the books rapidly now)

Tuna has mercury!  Asbestos may stop your house from burning, but you get cancer from it!  Sugar is bad, sugar is very bad, salt is bad, and smoking is the devil's own hell!  If you stand too long, the blood pools in your feet - no good!  But if you sit too long....now that's even worse than smoking!

       (He grabs two books shakes them at the audience)

One doctor says lay the baby on its back so it won't suffocate when it's asleep - this one says put the baby on its stomach!  I say put the baby on its head!  There, problem solved!  Or, better yet, let sleeping babies alone!   

        (He throws the books in the air)

It's all awful!  Everything we eat, and everything we do and everything we learned and even everything we think is all wrong and bad and the only conclusion I can reach that is even slightly logical is that.....life is bad for you!  Life will be the death of us all!  So..... give up before you start!  Die now and avoid the rush later!

       (He stops, breathing deeply, reaches into his pocket and takes out a cell phone)

Now this horrid thing, this will be the death of me yet!

       (He answers it very annoyed)

Why did you call me now?  I told you I was busy!  I am in the middle of......

       (He perks up, listens)

What did you say?  Oh, my God, I can't believe it!  Are you sure?  Wasn't that a little early?  Two weeks late?  Oh....I'll be right there!

       (He punches the phone, then kisses it.)

You beautiful thing!  You'll have to excuse me, folks, but I just became a great grandfather!

       (He starts to walk off, leaving the books, turns back)

Life may be the death of me yet - but a new baby.... that is the reason why we keep on living!

       (He skips off now.  The end of this, but the beginning of some new life!)

                                                                        

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

Monologue Mania Day #751 Election Year (Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 4, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     
     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here  There are now over 730!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #751 Election Year (for Senior Channel) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 4,  2016 

   
    For those tuning in for the first time, the Senior Channel is envisioned as an Interent TV show produced for and by seniors about issues relating to aging.  For other monologues from the Senior Channel, please see Days #  9, 20, 22, 36, 46, 49, 50, 54, 57, 60, 61, 65, 67, 68, 79, 86, 88, 180, 195-6, 312, 328, 379, 398, 401, 403, 414, 416, 503, 505, 553, 575, 586, 684 and today's

                   

                                          Election Year

                                                           (for The Senior Channel) 
                                                     A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                  © 2016 all rights reserved 

                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

              (The actor emerges draped in a flag, marching out holding a scroll, opens it,it is very long)

Hear ye!  Hear ye!  In this election year, I have to join the crowds of candidates....and let all you in Senior Channel land know exactly where I stand on all the issues!

On the issue of national security....on the issue of abortion....on the issue of gay marriage.....on the issue of immigration....on the issue of whether or not we should all get more social security....

I...very sincerely and absolutely.......DECLINE TO STATE!

And I wish for my fellow candidates to do EXACTLY THE SAME!

           (Turns to leave.....stops, looks back)

And by doing so, we will certainly solve one problem - NOISE POLLUTION!

              (Exits waving to a cheering crowd)

                                                                         

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

Monologue Mania Day #750 For Osculation (or Love and Math in the Time of Chemistry) by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 3, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     
     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here  There are now over 730!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #750 For Osculation by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 3,  2016 

        Other monologues from Osculation (or Love and Math in the Time of Chemistry) are on
                                                                                                 Days # 308, 470, 490, 698
    

                                            for Osculation

                                      For Osculation (or Love and Math in the Time of Chemistry)
                                              (Not)      A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                  © 2016 all rights reserved 

                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

         (Ariana is looking at the blackboard where Isaac is writing)

ARIANA -  Still don't get it.

ISAAC -  Okay, we have x....

ARIANA -  No, you have x, and I have a headache!

ISAAC -  Just pay attention!  We only have a few days left!  Now let's go over this again....

             (He starts writing on the board, and she watches him, shaking her head)

ARIANA -  I have a theoretical question......

ISAAC -  (Surprised)  You do?  Really?

ARIANA - Hypothetically, what if there were a girl, represented by the letter x, who came to a new school and got onto the Academic Decathalon team so she could avoid detention...

ISAAC -  (Having fun)  I think I can do this!

ARIANA -  We'll see......and what if....this girl, x, had a hypothetical friend from her old school....let's call him....y......and she got a call from this hypothetical friend....who was.....

ISAAC - (Getting worried)  An old boyfriend?

ARIANA - Who was a blackhat.....

ISAAC -  A hacker?

ARIANA -  Hypothetically.......big time.....

ISAAC -  You don't have to say hypothetical anymore, I got it.....it's all ...pretend...

ARIANA -  And what if...that old friend....had hacked into the locked files of a big, upcoming competition....

ISAAC - (Sarcastic)  Like, for example....Academic Decathalon?

ISAAC/ARIANA -  Hypothetically....

         (He walks away from her, turns back)

ISAAC -  And you would consider......this?

ARIANA -  Hypothetically....only on the math.....the rest....I get.....you, on the other hand could use it for the English part......

ISAAC -  (Still stunned) But......but....

ARIANA -  So....you think it's not a good idea?

ISAAC -  I can't...I mean....are you seriously thinking about.......(hard to say) cheating?

ARIANA - Cheating is such a harsh word.  I prefer......choosing .....to help ourselves.....Anyhow, remember... it's all purely hypothetical - you understand that, don't you?  X and Y don't have to tell Z.....and Z doesn't have to tell T, which stands for....Teacher.....

ISAAC -  Remember when we talked about lines?  And when lines...intersect.  And when two lines are parallet....and then .... there's a factor of when the distance between two points, two lines, two anythings....when that distance is reduced by a factor of one-half, every time....the two points, the two lines.....the two....will never touch.  Because the distance is halved......and there is always distance.....even if it is so tiny you can't see it........There is a point you can't step over.....a line you can't cross.....because it's wrong.....

ARIANA - I thought math wasn't right or wrong....it just.... is.....think about it, Isaac.....all that glory, and you don't have to do anything.....just let me do it all.....

           (Isaac shakes his head and turns to leave, stops, looks back)

ISAAC -  (Trying to remember the quote)  I've been trying to remember that quote from the ham and eggs guy.......

ARIANA - Hamlet......

ISAAC -  Hamlet......To be or not to be.......there's one line in there I kind of remember, not at the beginning....but closer to the end......'Thus conscience does make cowards of us all'.....See, you weren't the only one who could learn something new.....

          (He exits as she watches.  Lights down.  End of scene)

                                                                         

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

Monologue Mania Day #749 No Fault Lines by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 2, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     
     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here  There are now over 730!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #749 by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 2,  2016 

        

                                        No Fault Lines

                                                    A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                  © 2016 all rights reserved 

                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (Actor strides on, takes hand and ceremoniously points it at the audience)

It's your fault!

           (Points elsewhere)

You are the reason this happened!

           (Points elsewhere)

If it was up to me, none of this would have occurred!

            (Points elsewhere)

You are always wrong!

            (Points elsewhere)

You never get it right!

            (Points elsewhere)

And you never take the blame!

           (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

I have to go, because all those fault lines are about to....... start an earthquake.......

           (Exits to avoid the crumbling)

                                       

                                                                         

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.  

Monologue Mania Day #748 For Dark Eyes by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 1, 2016

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!

                                                                    first year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015
                                                                                           second year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2016 
   *********                                                         third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop, so if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.

If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues-
     
     For a list of the titles and blurbs from each day, click here  There are now over 730!
 
Get  more great  award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com

 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -

            How to Write a Monologue in 10 Easy Lessons (Well, maybe not so easy)

Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day #748 For Dark Eyes by Janet S. Tiger (c) Mar. 1,  2016 

        For Dark Eyes  To read the earlier parts of Dark Eyes, please see Days #  738, 739, 740

                                         For Dark Eyes

                                                                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger 
                                                    © 2016 all rights reserved 

                                                        tigerteam1@gmail.com

                 

         (We see the woman sitting on the bench, waiting for a bus in a small town.  A young man walks by, slowly.  He looks at the woman, nods, she nods back.)

Hey.....  You visiting someone here in town?

        (She smiles, doesn't say anything, nods)

Can you hear me?

         (She nods, smiles)

You're a stupid ugly old thing, aren't you?

          (She nods again, smiles)

And you're deaf as that post over there.  Mind if I sit down?

         (She nods, smiles, he sits next to her)

Guess you don't mind.......You look like my Aunt Terry.....she's stupid and deaf, too.  And has a dress just like yours.  She loved to tell me I was gonna grow up to be no good if I didn't listen to my Daddy.  Guess she was right, huh?

        (She nods and smiles as he talks)

My Daddy loves guns.  He's the sheriff here.   I dunno why people think guns are so great.   Most boys like guns, but maybe.....I dunno, maybe I never touch guns because he wanted me to.....so, I guess, all kids wanna do the opposite of what their parents tell 'em.

But if you wanna kill people, guns are stupid.  How many can you kill with a few guns?  Ten, fifteen?  If you get lucky and no one ducks and no one calls the cops, and the cops don't come....maybe, thirty, forty.....a hundred.

(Sneers)  So what?  So they bury 'em and in five years, no one remembers anything.  You use a bomb, maybe you get a few more....or not.

          (He takes a small glass container out of a pocket)

But poison, now there's a way to do things right.....one vial of the right stuff.....and you put it in the water.....hey, in a town like this,....small town... twenty thousand people......you could get most of them on the first day......you pick a Sunday morning, when people are getting up for church, which is all you can do on a Sunday morning anyhow in a small town.

You put the vial into the water into the reservoir....the lake....the aqueduct....after the outflow point....it goes into 5000 homes.....it only takes ten minutes, and because you put it after the outflow, the testing system is bypassed......it doesn't take much to figure this out......it's all there, right on the Internet......all those people who made fun of you when you went to school, because you couldn't read so good, and your Daddy was the sheriff, but you hated guns.....all those kids, all their parents.

And you can stay to watch, or leave before anyone figures it out.....follow the news on the TV in some motel someplace, where you register under the name Smith, and no one asks for ID.....and you cut your hair, change the color of your hair, shave off the mustache, put in some contacts.....change your clothes.....buy a new car.....and become another person.....a person you killed and buried....and you took their ID because they had no family....

           (The woman continues to look and smile)

And you watch the news, and read the papers, and you see how many are dead.  A hundred.....that's just the first few minutes......a thousand.....until they figure it out, that's it the water.....it could be most of the town....except for the people who only drink booze!  They'd be the only survivors!  A town full a drunks!  What a perfect ending!

          (He looks into her eyes and her face is kind, smiling)

If I thought you could understand me, I'd have to kill you, too, wouldn't I?  But you know that, right?

           (He laughs and slaps his knee, so she laughs harder)

Well, it's been nice talkin' to you, ma'am.....hope you have a nice trip....(hisses) ...don't stay in this town......

           (He tips his hat to her, gets up and walks off.  She smiles and waves at him, but as soon as he is out of sight, her face changes, and she drops her head, sighs deeply.  She takes a small device from her purse - we see it's a tape recorder.  She removes the tape and puts it into an envelope, and we see her writing on the envelope...'Sheriff'....end of scene.)

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Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315

JanetSTigerMonologueMania.blogspot.com

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

* Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.