Monologue Mania

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 235 by Janet S. Tiger Day of Atonement (2) Oct. 5, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

                      - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please
scroll down for the previous days or go to http://www.monologuestore.com/ -click on the Monologue Mania button please scroll down.
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
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Monologue Mania Day # 235 by Janet S. Tiger Day of Atonement (2) Oct. 5, 2014

Day of Atonement (2 - not from the play)

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(An older woman comes out, she is carrying a bird cage, which is empty. She looks at the cage, then sets it down, looks up)

Yom Kippur. I never thought I'd see another one, did I? Written into the Book of Life, was I? I guess...you just never know.

(She looks at the cage)

I miss Mushke, she was a sweet bird. Stupid, but sweet, like all of them.....She was not written into the Book of Life....I guess her death reminded me of all those years ago....

(She looks up again)

I just wanted to talk with you again, Beryl, and you, too, Dovid......oh, I know you wanted to be called Barry, and David, but you're both dead thirty years, so who cares? I'm almost dead and I don't care.

But I do care about one thing. Amazing, all this water under the bridge, and here I am, worried about a stupid bird.

Not Mushke......she was the latest, I'm talking about your bird, Beryl. Your little parakeet......Tweety bird. Remember her? Remember how you loved her so much, and how you warned Dovid that he must never ever open the cage, because she could get out, and that would be it......what am I asking if you remember, of course you remember. Once you die, you remember everything.

So you must remember when Tweety escaped and you blamed Dovid, and he denied it....which he always did whenever he did something wrong, he was very convincing, too, maybe that's why he became a lawyer, I don't know.

But you beat him up because the bird was gone, and I was little, and you, Beryl, you knew it had to be Dovid.

But maybe, you don't know everything.

This was back when I was four years old. And I was alone in the room with Tweety.....(remembering) Tweety the sweetie, you used to call her.

(Remembering)

And I knew you loved that bird, you would come home from that office you worked in, and you'd be so tired from the subway, and that bird would sing as soon as you came in the door! And you used to tell Dovid, (imitates) Don't you go near Tweety! If anything happens to Tweety, I'll kill you!

(Hard for her to say, she pantomimes what she is telling)

I climbed up on a chair and opened the cage, and Tweety flew out, and out the window.....and I was so scared I hid in the closet. And then you came home and saw Tweety was gone, and you beat up Dovid.....for what I did.

(She takes a handkerchief out and dabs at her eyes)

And no one suspected me, because I was so little, and I had moved the chair back, and no one thought I could do anything like that......and I watched you hit Dovid and I was afraid, you might hit me.......you never did, for anything, and I always felt bad that I never told, so that's why, on this day, today, I'm telling you both.....that I'm sorry.

(Sighs deeply)

I never meant to have Tweety get away, and for you to get beat up, Dovid.

I just wanted to hear her sing....for me. That's why, I guess, I've had birds my whole life.

(Takes a deep breath)

And so today, that's why I wanted to ....what would the word be? Apologize? Confess? Make amends?

I am sorry, Dovid, and Beryl.......I hope you both forgive me. I figure, I'll be with you in person soon, so I wanted to clear this up before I join you.

How is up there? I hope we all get along better than we did down here.

If we don't, maybe I can visit cousin Yankel and the Gallagher boys down below. (She laughs) I'm sure they're not up there with you!

(She touches the cage)

I'm not sure if I should get another bird. What if I'm not sealed into the Book of Life and the bird has to go to a new home? Is that fair? Does a bird care what's fair?

(She picks up the cage and starts to walk out, stops, looks up, smiles.)

All the troubles in the world, and here I am, worried about a bird that's been dead for over 60 years! Thank you, God, for a life that had such boring problems!

(She exits. The end of Yom Kippur for this year.....L'shanah Tovah)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Saturday, October 4, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 234 by Janet S. Tiger Day of Atonement Oct. 4, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

                      - for a whole year!
Note: A few words about 'free' - all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty info.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues, please scroll down for the previous days or....
     To start at the beginning - Feb. 13, - click here.
     For a list of the blurbs from each day, click here
Help a playwright and get more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monologue Mania Day # 234 by Janet S. Tiger Day of Atonement Oct. 4, 2014

Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement in the Jewish year. The following monologue is from my play DAY OF ATONEMENT. It is adjusted a bit so that is can be a monologue - so technically, it is a new monologue! For those interested in getting the entire play, please click here to purchase. Wishing all a Happy, Healthy and Successful New Year!

Day of Atonement (from the play)

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(Frieda and Molly are in their sixties, old friends through marriage. The play concerns a special Yom Kippur that brings up old memories. Although Frieda is giving the monologue near the end of the play, this section involves Molly's inability to accept her daughter's choices.)

FRIEDA - We’re not in Poland anymore, Molly - you can let up a little.

(Listens, laughs)

FRIEDA - You say it was easier? Ha! You mean dying from typhoid and starvation

and easier having the Poles have their dogs chase us down like

animals? Which easier do you mean?

(Imitates Molly, taunting her) Easier because we knew who we were.

Everyone was born and they knew what they were going to be. If you did
something wrong, against God’s law, no one talked to you. You knew who you were going to

marry and what your children would be when they grew up....and it was easier!

(Now she is getting mad) No one knew that everyone was going to grow up to

be dead! No one knows now, either, Molly, that’s why each day is so

precious! (Quiet) What do you think life is about, Molly? What are our lives? We’re not rich or famous like Madonna.

We never got Nobel Prizes or invented a cure for cancer! What are we here for? We avoided the hell in Europe, we had children and raised them and only because God blew over a candle? Are we the minutes like the fire - fast and gone in ashes and smoke with just a breeze? Or are we the decisions we make that last us a lifetime? Do you think God is so bored that he has time to worry that you ate a chocolate eclair on Yom Kippur? Do you think God is sitting up there today ready to sign you into the Book of Life because you haven’t spoken to your own flesh and blood for 6 years? Don’t you see that we are the last of our town and you are the only one who can tell your grandchildren what it was like to live back then! God didn’t have us go through all of this just to watch it die out! You must choose life, Molly! Choose life! Call up your daughter! Call up Susan! You don’t have to do anything except say hello! Please, Molly!

(She bows her head. Lights down)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Friday, October 3, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 233 by Janet S. Tiger Thud (version 2) Oct. 3, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

Monologue Mania Day # 233 by Janet S. Tiger Thud (version 2)Oct. 3, 2014
Note- Thud (version 1) is on Day # 232 - I like to see which version works best - please let me know if you have a preference- thanks!

Thud (version 2)

   tigerteam1@gmail.com

             (The man who walks out is holding a piece of clothing in his hands. He rubs it on his face)

Yes, doctor, I know why I'm here. Everyone says I need help.

            (He sniffs the clothing again, then puts it down)

Who knows, they may be right.

They say I'm still obsessed with Jody. But that's not true. 'Still' means that I was obsessed with her the whole time we lived together. Thirty-two years. No one is that obsessed.

We had our ups and downs, fights and battles and everyday arguments over important things like how to tie up the garbage.

           (He illustrates what he now discusses)

Jody was a strict proponent of the twist and tie method, where I firmly believe twist and ties allow leakage, so the only real way is tying up the top loosely, then squishing out the air, with a final tightening that prevents all odor and bugs from entering.

That was one of biggest ongoing battles. (Thinks) How much time did we spend on that vital part of life! Okay. Maybe I was a bit obsessed about that. But once Jody and I passed the honeymoon stage, passed the children and money troubles times...... then we were friends and lovers, but not obsessively so. We traveled together, but also apart. We worked together, but we each had our own friends. It was a perfect life.

          (He sighs deeply, then rubs the clothing on his face again)

And then she got sick. At first no one knew what it was. We went to a million doctors, all told us the tests were fine, and then they basically told us it was all in her head. That's always a delight to hear. Until she collapsed on that cruise to Alaska, and we had to air lift her out, back to Los Angeles.

And then we found out that the doctors had really been right, it was all in her head.......specifically (says this very carefully) .....malignant glioma, inoperable and not particularly pleasant.

The last year was a nightmare, but every minute together suddenly became precious. (Hard for him to say) I have such guilt that I didn't appreciate all those other minutes! All those other years!

But the hardest part was the very end. We knew it was close, and it was hard to keep Jody at home, but she wanted that, and so did I.

           (He holds the clothing to his heart)

It was a Monday morning....ooh, how I played 'Monday, Monday' for weeks afterwards! Can't trust that day!

I was getting breakfast, and Jody was slowly walking in from the bedroom. Not that she ate very much at that point. She spent her whole life on a diet, but this was the time she got thin.... so very thin......

         (He is reliving the moment)

I don't know which I heard first, her gasp......(He gasps loudly)......or the thud.....

         (He falls to his knees)

But in that instant, I knew. By the time I got to her.......she was gone. My beautiful Jody! ....(Trying not to cry)...... I didn't even call 911.....saved myself the cost of the ambulance! Wasn't that clever!

It's funny....I'm guilty about not appreciating the time we had, but now...now I have lots of time to think about all the things I'd saved money on....not getting the cabin with the terrace.....Jody wanted to sit outside and watch the sunsets, but that extra would have cost another $1500!.....or the fancy faucets when we redid the kitchen.. Who needs Waterworks when they cost an extra $3000?

I don't. But I wish I'd gotten them for her. What do I need with that money now?

But I need her. I miss her. And I will never forget that last moment, with all the regrets of a lifetime.

          (He holds out the clothing)

See this shirt? It was Jody's, of course it was Jody's. It still has a tiny bit of her smell on it. Her perfume.....Chanel number 5 .....and a bit of her makeup from when it rubbed off when she was playing tennis.......

So. if I'm obsessing now, I'm sorry it bothers everyone. They'll just have to get used to it......In some ways, I think I'm a bit better.

     (He turns to exit, stops, looks back)

You see, I used to carry around her old underwear.....

      (He exits, laughing, the end for now)

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Thursday, October 2, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 232 by Janet S. Tiger Thud Oct. 2, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

Monologue Mania Day # 232 by Janet S. Tiger Thud Oct. 2, 2014

Thud

Who knows, they may be right.

They say I'm still obsessed with Jody. But that's not true. 'Still' means that I was obsessed with him the whole time we lived together. Thirty-two years. No one is that obsessed.

We had our ups and downs, affairs with others, fights and battles and everyday arguments over important things like how to tie up the garbage.

           (He illustrates what he now discusses)

Jody was a strict proponent of the twist and tie method, where I firmly believe twist and ties allow leakage, so the only real way is tying up the top loosely, then squishing out the air, with a final tightening that prevents all odor and bugs from entering.

That was one of biggest ongoing battles. (Thinks) How much time did we spend on that vital part of life! Okay. Maybe I was a bit obsessed about that. But once Jody and I passed the honeymoon stage, passed the move-in stage, then we were friends and lovers, but not obsessively so. We traveled together, but also apart. We worked together, but we each had our own friends. It was a perfect life.

          (He sighs deeply, then rubs the clothing on his face again)

And then he got sick. At first no one knew what it was. We went to a million doctors, all told us the tests were fine, and then they basically told us it was all in his head. That's always a delight to hear. Until he collapsed on that cruise to Alaska, and we had to air lift him out, back to Los Angeles.

And then we found out that the doctors had really been right, it was all in his head.......specifically (says this very carefully) .....malignant glioma, inoperable and not particularly pleasant.

The last year was a nightmare, but every minute together suddenly became precious. (Hard for him to say) I have such guilt that I didn't appreciate all those other minutes! All those other years!

But the hardest part was the very end. We knew it was close, and it was hard to keep Jody at home, but he wanted that, and so did I.

           (He holds the clothing to his heart)

It was a Monday morning....ooh, how I played 'Monday, Monday' for weeks afterwards! Can't trust that day!

I was getting breakfast, and Jody was slowly walking in from the bedroom. Not that he ate very much at that point. He got so very thin......

         (He is reliving the moment)

I don't know which I heard first, him gasp......(He gasps loudly)......or the thud.....

         (He falls to his knees)

But in that instant, I knew. By the time I got to him.......he was gone. My beautiful Jody! ....(Trying not to cry)...... I didn't even call 911.....saved myself the cost of the ambulance! Wasn't that clever!

It's funny....I'm guilty about not appreciating the time we had, but now...now I have lots of time to think about all the things I'd saved money on....not getting the extra long bed.....Jody was tall, but that extra long would have cost another $500!.....or the fancy speakers when he got his new car. Who needs Bose speakers when they cost an extra $300?

I don't. But I wish I'd gotten them for him. What do I need with that money now?

But I need him. I miss him. And I will never forget that last moment, with all the regrets of a lifetime.

          (He holds out the clothing)

See this shirt? It was Jody's, of course it was Jody's. It still has a tiny bit of his smell on it. Sweat and a bit of his favorite Ralph Lauren aftershave that he would splash everywhere.

So. if I'm obsessing now, I'm sorry it bothers everyone. They'll just have to get used to it......In some ways, I think I'm a bit better.

     (He turns to exit, stops, looks back)

You see, I used to carry around his old underwear.....

      (He exits, laughing, the end for now)

--------------------------------------

Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Monologue Mania Day # 231 by Janet S. Tiger A New Show Oct. 1, 2014

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day

Monologue Mania Day # 231 by Janet S. Tiger Oct. 1, 2014

Parental alert - very weird ideas!

A New Show

   tigerteam1@gmail.com

(A woman comes onstage, carrying a banner inspired by Day #230. She waves it proudly)

Hello, hello, hello! I am a proud member of the new group suggested by the gentleman with the wonderful banner!

(She waves it wildly, the toilet paper fluttering in the breeze)

It is inspirational how people can think of such new and incredibly amazing things! That's why I was inspired!

And so, I have created a new show, which I am proud to announce right here, on the Senior Channel! A show that will have everyone talking - a show inspired by a great tradition in television....the lowest point means you can't fall down!

You see, first there was The View, where today's topic was getting a vacuum cleaner to provide an orgasm....then there was THE CHEW, where women discussed Vagina Cookies....and now.......drum roll please, I mean, toilet roll!.......THE POO!

That's right, you heard me! A show all about the unmentionable......and our motto is.....'the more you know, the more you go!'

Why be shy about anything anymore? Life is full of crap, why not celebrate the real stuff! The stuff that dreams aren't made of......come visit us on THE POO and meet our hostess...Whoopee Cushion, with her first guest, that famous actress who has exposed her intestinal issues for years as the spokesperson for Go-Go-Gogurt.....Jaimie Loo Curtis!

Our slogan is always....Just Do-Do It!

And our first show will feature a special that will be on every week, one that everyone can enjoy...our version of the real, the true.....the actual....Game of Thrones!

For those interested in other facets of this, we've got fashion Hair Do-Dos and another very special guest, the Poo-purri lady, Bethanny Woodroughage!

We will be exploring poo throughout the ages - from...ancient poo from the King Toot era through the modern time's Remains of the Day!

Thought television couldn't possibly get any worse? Think again! Now you can tune in to a tasteless show where we have all the top stories about....bottoms!

So please join us as we put a magnifying glass into the potty.....and what we find will have you just tooting for air!

Flush away all your old ideas! This is the rear end of the line!

No matter what you do, please remember to watch THE POO!

             (She turns to exit, stops, looks back)

Bottoms up!

(She exits to the limbo music - 'How Low Can You Go')

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315

www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com

Member Dramatists Guild since 1983

Playwright-in-Residence

Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

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