Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1147 In the Land of UsedtoBe by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 4, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1130!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1147 In the Land of UsedtoBe by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 4, 2017                             
                                         In the Land of UsedtoBe
                                                    (for The Senior Channel)
                                                      by Janet S. Tiger
                                                © 2014 all rights reserved
                                                   tigerteam1@gmail.com

           (Older actor strolls throughout the crowd, no rush, waves leisurely)

Hello, my dear friends in senior land.  Or should I say our real location, shh, don't tell anyone, but of course, it's no secret.  If you are watching this, you are either a resident - or friends of a resident - of the mighty land of...Used to Be!

Now this is not where we were born, of course.....we are born into the very fast and furious world of Here and Now.....a place which has the fascinating paradox - everything is moving at light speed - when we are born into this place, we are learning a million things at once- every minute of every day is packed with excitement!  What is that large roundish thing coming at us?  Is it ....a face?  Of someone who loves us?  And all the incredible sights and sounds and experiences!  Amazing - a ribbon, the sky....ooh, a box!  What delights!  And the paradox - is that with all the newness of every day, the time drags by!  It takes forever to reach the station of one's birthday!  They say it's a year, but that has to be wrong!  It feels like....a million years!

Then something happens.....and we get a bit older, and suddenly, we take longer to do things, but.....those slow minutes.... start to race.  We turn around and see the land of Here and Now fading into the distance, filled with our youth......and we start forgetting things and worse.....we start remembering things that never were!  The jobs we hated become filled with memories of friends, and the family we swore we'd never speak to again....dies, so we cannot speak to them.  And we wake up one morning and things are aching, and dear ones we loved ....are available only in our imaginations.....We look around and the train has stopped for what seems like ages in....the Land of UsedtoBe......a place we once glimpsed when speaking with our elders, while we squirmed and wished they would JUST STOP TALKING for a moment so we could GO OUT AND PLAY in the land of Here and Now.......a location that has misty water colored atmosphere......a place that is not at the beginning, and not at the end, a place where the time races by... but every day is slow, because everything that used to be easy, like putting on your shoes, now takes hours......

        (Illustrates by trying to take of a shoe, gives up, smiles)

So, stay awhile in the Land of UsedtoBe, things are pleasant here.  Everything you are or once were is a lovely memory.  The sands of time have smoothed the rough edges of youth, and many things that irritated are now dead and gone.  Like old bosses, and horrid teachers.....and those who were ......not nice to us.

And we.....we are all PP here!  Previously Perfect!  For the older we get, the better we were!  We were so wonderful!  Beautiful and strong, never a pimple!  And we were able to work for days on no sleep, and dance until dawn every night with our many loves, and we knew everything......all of which we have forgotten.....because forgetting is one of the only ways to get to....the Land of UsedtoBe.

Aches and pains?  They will ease away like the rest of everything else long forgotten.  Because once we forget, we are happy here in this little plot of land, this island of calm before..... the approach to our final destinations.  Sit awhile, heck, you can sit forever.......and wonder why we still say words like 'heck' when everyone else curses like stevedores!

 But I digress, which is one of the many lovely places here....Digression Alley, Repetition Lane.....and the always popular stroll down the ....'Avenue of When I Was Younger.'

And please, do not rush to send me letters and emails that life is better now that you are older!  This belief will lead you back to the station,  and before you know it...... (sad).....you are taking a side trip  on the UsedtoBe train.......(shudders).... to a special side-trip location that is the inspiration for many a TV show and book... the Nation of the Undead....

            (Shakes warning finger) .

(to scare).......inhabited by zombies, the living impersonation of humans who no longer can remember anything except how to eat!  And they only suck out the brains of those who love them, so I warn you my friends, you really do not want to ask for this destination!  Enjoy your stay here in UsedtoBe land, and I wish you a wonderful journey for the rest.....

               (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)

Because even though this is a one way trip, you don't want to miss it!  All aboard!

              (Exits.....for the next stop)

----------------------------------------
First posted -Day # 429 by Janet S. Tiger In the Land of UsedtoBe (revised) April 17, 2015
     In the Land of UsedtoBe  (revised -first seen Apr. 15, 2015, or to use the tax terminology - amended)
         
----------------------------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monday, April 3, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1146 Geometry of Lines in the Sand (for Osculation) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 3, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1130!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1146 Geometry of Lines in the Sand (for Osculation) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 3, 2017                          
                                    Geometry of Lines in the Sand 
                                     (for Osculation) 
                                 A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2017
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com       


          (Ariana has asked Isaac to help her cheat and he is upset by this, but now they are about to leave for the decathalon, and he takes her aside)
 
ISAAC -  You asked me to think about something, something I didn't ever want to consider....

ARIANA-  And you've thought about it?

ISAAC -  Yes.  All night....I couldn't sleep....

ARIANA -  I'm sorry....

ISAAC -  Are you really?

            (She bristles, turns away)

ISAAC -  I have one last thing to share before we start.....

ARIANA -  From the look on your face, I imagine it has something to do with math....

ISAAC -  Geometry.

ARIANA -  As if there's a difference!

ISAAC -  You offered me something, and I.....was tempted to because......winning is tempting.

ARIANA - So I guess the answer is no....good guess, huh?

ISAAC -  Geometry is based on lines.....and a line is .....

ARIANA -..... straight....has no thickness and extends in both directions without end......see, I did learn something.....

ISAAC -  Infinity.  But sometimes....you have a line ....in the sand......and it has....a beginning and an end, right where you put down your foot, where you make your stand....this is where I have to make my stand......and I'm not sorry....

          (She shakes her head, turns to leave, stops looks back)

ARIANA -  You missed a good chance, my friend.....see you at the winner's table.....

           (She exits, and he watches)

ISAAC -  But I am sorry.....for you.....

           (Lights down, end of scene)

         
----------------------------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1145 Three (one-act) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 2, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1130!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1145 Three (one-act) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 2, 2017                             
                                                              Three
                                                               (one-act)
                                        (Not)   A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2017
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com       
Set – Simple, a home, some chairs

Characters – 2  1 male 1 female

ROSE – 30s attractive (British accent)

            JOHN -  late 30s (American accent) 






               (Rose comes in, she is in her 30s, dressed in a lab coat.  She has a file,
which she holds close to her chest.  A man is watching her from the side of the stage,
shaking his head as she speaks when he disagrees.  This is John, her husband)

ROSE - (British accent, educated, she speaks slowly, thoughtfully)  One, two three.  Granny
ate a flea.  She roasted it, and toasted it and had it for her tea..... Mum used to tell me that when she wanted to make me laugh.  It always worked....until now.

Outside of the Holy Trinity, I cannot think of anything else with three that is prominent, that can take my mind off of this.....


 (She looks at the file, then throws it down)


Three.  Wait.....Three sheets to the wind.....(Smiles) That's how the first came about.....poor thing....


Easy as 1-2-3- well there's a lie for you......Two's company, three's a crowd, well, not when the two are married and want a third.....or maybe just one of the two wants a third.


Genetic defect.  Mitochondria.  It's so funny.  I never liked biology.  Math.  Numbers. From when I was little, I understood numbers.  They were....my friends.  They never lied.  Everywhere I looked there were numbers!  The number of windows in the church, 18. the number of squares on the floor.  400 minus the place where the counter cut in -372.  The number of children in the class.  27.  Even when it got more intricate, pi – always the same ratio!  Then physics, such beautiful symmetry……all based on numbers!  They were always clear and simple.  No matter how difficult, it always comes down to numbers.

            (She looks at the man, almost seeing him)                                                        

ROSE -  But.....it doesn't.  Not now.  Maybe it never did.

He doesn't want to take a chance with this new technology - and it's funny, he's the biological engineer!  He says he doesn't want someone else's baby, and that's what we'd get - when I tell him it's just the mitochondria, he shakes his head and walks away.

            (He now walks away)

ROSE - Yet he would adopt.  That's all right, because we would get to meet the parents.  That's
all right.  When I say, this would be our baby, his and mine....he says....and a third.  There'd always be....a third.  

It's my fault of course.  Always mine.  The DNA in my mitochondria is....faulty.  

(We now see the man at another point on the stage, holding some framed photos)

JOHN –(American accent. Takes a deep breath)  Leigh's syndrome.  Our first died at three
months.....Elizabeth was her name.  Sweet Beth..... Our second......Angela....Angie she would have been, she made to nine months.   She doesn’t understand that I’m not just worried about the baby, but about her…….

(He hangs his head)

ROSE - (Very hard)  He's worried .....that I might not survive the third....that another loss might
finish me off.  I did go through some postpartum, and having your babies die, well, that can be a bit depressing, but....he just doesn't want to take a chance on the new.  Scientists we are, and yet he won't try the future.  So we will leave the planet without a future for us.....

JOHN -  (Remembering) Future….when we started, we had such a bright one…..maybe we
shouldn’t have waited those extra years…..although they said her mitochondria were probably defective all along….mitochondria…..I remember when I heard that word, it was my science teacher, Mr. Keefer, he was fantastic…..(Imitates)  Mighty Mitochondria!  The power house of the cell!  Without our mighty mitochondria, nothing!  Organelles, that’s tiny organs….(back to himself)  I loved that word organelles!  (Back to being Mr. Keefer)  The ORGANELLES take the nutrients and digest them and make energy rich molecules so that all of you can do the twenty pages of homework for tomorrow!  (Laughs)  But it was only one page, and it was simple, so simple.  Just like everything, it works or it doesn’t…now, why it doesn’t work, that’s another problem…..

(He looks at his wife)

JOHN  - Do we still work?

(She looks at him)

ROSE - What do I do?  I still love the man, but.....I want a child.  My child.  Someone who
will look like me......Unlike numbers, there was something amazingly....real about what grew inside of me!  (Choking up)  I loved those babies, even before they were born.....and now, I have a chance to have another.  Before my time is up.  I won't mind raising a child not born in me....but later, after I have a chance for one to make it....past a year......

But…what do I do with him?  Do I try to convince him?  How long will that take - if
ever?  Do I leave him?  Search for another love?  (Laughs)  It took me 30 years to find him!  Do  I get a donor?  So my baby would be, part me, part stranger, part...strange woman with healthy mitochondria.  

JOHN -  It isn’t that and you know it….if you listened, you would’ve heard.  First, there’s the
odds against it working….as a lover of numbers, you didn’t like those numbers at all.  Yes, others have succeeded, but it took years.  Yes, they just approved it here in England, but will we be chosen?

There are so many questions!

(Takes a deep breath)  And what if, what it goes wrong?

(Lights are on Rose now as John goes offstage.  She is talking to the audience as if a friend was there)

ROSE -  I’m so glad you could come to help out……I guess you didn't know, did you?  That's
what happens when you go away across the pond for a few years!  After the second baby with Leigh's syndrome, we did some checking.  No one in my family had it, never, all babies born strong and healthy!  My Mum had a great deal of pride in that, she did.  But that was my family.... that raised me..(takes a deep breath)..my real family now they had problems....a bunch of dead babies......and me, I was the lucky one who lived and was healthy.....and given up for adoption because no one wanted to see if I turn up dead in a few months.....after all that work of giving birth.....and feeding me.....so they left me with the church.....

Was lucky I suppose .....that when we went to find my biological family one of the sisters remembered the name...and where to find them.........so the secrets come out.  The sins of the fathers and all that....but in this case, it was....the sins of the mother's ...mitochondria.


I knew my Mum loved me.....but had she told me the truth, maybe.....well, things would've been different.  She was a proud woman, proud of her ignorance, and yet proud I was smart.....so unlike the others in the brood.  How she kept them all from ever telling me, I still don't know.  Sheer force of will I imagine.  How I wish that will had seeped into me, because I do need it now.....


          (She nods at the audience)


Sorry to hit you with all this in one shot, but. you tell me, my friend - what should I do? 


          (Listens, shakes head.)


No answers?  Not surprised!


          (Turns to leave, stops, looks back)


Funny, I always loved ....the power of three....now, is the third time a charm?  Or is it just.....three strikes and we're all out....


           (She exits, end of scene)
Scene 2  
(John enters, holding a briefcase, and some files in his hand.  He sits heavily.  Rose enters and they do not kiss.  He hands the papers to her)
JOHN -  They seem in order.  I’ll sign them when I get the strength.
ROSE -  You make it sound so ominous, it’s not like divorce papers, it’s just the….
JOHN – I know what it is, it’s us asking for something……
ROSE -  Asking for a baby…..
JOHN -  No, that would have been the adoption papers, this is different.  This is laboratories, and petrie dishes, and the centrifuging of our future baby into some other woman’s DNA….
ROSE -  Just the mitochondrial DNA….
JOHN -  How can we be sure?
ROSE – You’re the biology expert!  You should know!
JOHN -  I was fifteen and it my first laboratory.  My mother had a friend, and they let me use the
spectrophotometer, and the autoclave, and I was in heaven!  And I got to know all of the
other real scientists!  I was so happy…..and then….I was working late, and I saw Peterson carrying a tray of petrie dishes, and….he dropped them, and they fell, and it was awful…..and I felt terrible for him….and I went to help him clean up and he said…..’how about if we keep this our little secret?’  And I watched him put the dishes back on the tray, and he put it into the refrigerator……and I never told.  But I learned something about science that day…..

ROSE -  That numbers are better?  That’s what I’ve always said!


JOHN -  That – in biology – you never know!   Whether the person told the truth about the
results, whether they were accurate….that’s why I believe in the proving and reproving of experimental results…..before you try something new…..

ROSE -  Before you try something new on humans…..animals you can experiment all day and
night, but that’s ok, right?

JOHN -  This isn’t an animal!

ROSE -  We are all animals!  And we want to have our own progeny – just like any moth or
Monkey!  We want our own!  Something that looks like us! And sounds like us – and
smells like us!  Not another moth or monkey – but our own individual smell!  Your eyes
my skin….your love of biology, my love of music…..

JOHN -  Love……are you saying you couldn’t love a child we adopted?

ROSE -  I could and I will…..but not now!  Not while I still have a chance! 

JOHN – And if this chance…..doesn’t work?

ROSE -  I’ll still love you…..

            (She takes the papers from him, goes to sign.  He takes the pen from her hand.  Blackout)


Scene 3

            (Lights up on  John – now with a basinet in the room.  John looks into the
Basinet, then goes and takes a suitcase.  Rose enters.  He hands a file to her)

JOHN -  I think everything is signed in the right place.

ROSE -  I wish you didn’t have to go. 

JOHN -  As I recall, this is your choice.

ROSE -  It’s biology, you should understand.

JOHN -  I haven’t understood very much in years, have I?  But you got what you wanted, didn’t
you? 

ROSE -  Three – I wanted it to be three.  And there’s still only two.

JOHN -  You got to be famous with this.  Forcing me to help you have the baby you wanted.  A court case, a landmark decision.  Everything you wanted.  How is that biology?

ROSE -  Survival of the fittest – in this world, the fittest need good lawyers.

JOHN -  Thank you for letting me see our girl as she grows up……

ROSE -  Thank you for your part in this…..

            (He leaves, and she goes to the basinet, smiles)

ROSE -  So much for numbers, I guess it’s just the two of us…..and of course, your other contributor…..

            (She turns to the audience)

ROSE -  Who would know we’d fall in love?  And over something so simple as a baby?

            (She exits….to a brave new world)
 
----------------------------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Monologue Mania Day #1144 April Fool's Gold (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 1, 2017

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free* monologue a day- -and still going!
  first   year -  Feb. 13, 2014 - Feb. 12, 2015  second year -  Feb. 13, 2015 - Feb. 12, 2016  third year -  Feb. 13, 2016 -  today!                 
I've continued with a monologue a day until the spirit moves me to stop - if you have any ideas for a monologue you want me to write, please let me know at tigerteam1@gmail.com.
If you just started this blog and want to read the earlier monologues- for a list of the titles and blurbs from each                                                                                                                    day, click here  There are now over 1130!
Get  more great award-winning monologues - MonologueZone.com
 If you'd like to write your own monologues, I happen to have a book for that -   
Thank you for your comments - and for liking and sharing this site.  Wishing you much success!
- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Monologue Mania Day #1144 April Fool's Gold (for Caregivers Anonymous) by Janet S. Tiger (c) April 1, 2017                             
                                                     April Fool's Gold
                                           A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved 2014
                                                     tigerteam1@gmail.com       

             (This would be Gemma speaking - and she is annoyed someone has questioned her love of aliens - maybe even going so far as to suggest she is an April Fool)

April Fools!  Yeah, that's what I like - the idea that the aliens are enjoying a day like today.  Lotta fun, lotta silly stuff.....

           (Listens, shakes head)

What would you have me do?  Cry all day?  I do that all night, and it gets me tired, so maybe you just need to think that just perhaps you have no idea what MY life is like.

Maybe I talk about aliens because aliens are safe, politically unimportant - not a chance one of them is going to launch a complaint against me because I made a joke about anal probes!  Maybe I like aliens because talking about them makes people smile!  Maybe I like that!  And maybe you could learn something from the aliens!  Maybe they are here amongst us, and maybe not, but either way, no one laughs at what you say, except behind your back.  And I'll bet if the aliens were here, they'd be laughing, too!

You think because I come in and laugh and make jokes I don't notice that I have a whole plate load of shit?  You think I'm that stupid?  Well, no argument.

         (Goes to sit down, looks at the person who annoyed her)

 No, I did not agree with you. I said...no argument......(Smiles)  You see, I just don't argue with fools......

          (End of scene)

   
----------------------------------------------

Note: A few words about 'free' -  all these monologues are protected under copyright law and are free to read, free to perform and video as long as no money is charged. Once you charge admission or a donation, or include my work in an anthology, you need to contact me for royalty 
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Janet S. Tiger    858-736-6315                CaregiversAnon.org
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8