Monologue Mania

Monday, August 3, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #537 The Death Report (updated) by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 3, 2015

Welcome to Monologue Mania- one new free monologue a day- for a whole year-and still going!
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Monologue Mania Day #537 by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 3, 2015

This was actually in my first week of monologues, (from (c) Feb. 18, 2014 all rights reserved Day #6) but after watching tonight's newscast, I have revised it a bit because it is- unfortunately!- still relevant.

The Death Report

tigerteam1@gmail.com

                       (A man comes out onstage - he is dressed in a suit and tie - he looks like a news             reporter, because he is! - with the standard smile and perky attitude.)

Hello, my faithful fans on the nightly 11pm KRP Death Report!

Tonight is a great night for death because it's been a great day for death! What's our motto? What are you when you're finished with life?   (Joyful) Dead! Dead! Dead!

As always, we are your 24 hour death station - we have all the most important deaths from all over the world -

                      (He indicates a 'screen' behind him)

And all over this country......

                      (Indicates the screen again)

........and great state....

                       (He points and zooms in)

......and best of all.....every single death in this city! That's right - all the people who have died here in your own very town - (ecstatic).....maybe, if you're lucky, you will know someone in your own neighborhood or street!

Now, due to time restrictions we can only show the famous deaths right now- but we have every single one of the ordinary deaths on our online site - just click the 'Who Died Today' button for all those details.... but for what everyone is tuning in for - murders....that's what we have tonight!

And today was a great day! Must be the full moon, my friends....(confidential) and for those who are accusing our channel of encouraging murders around the full moon each month, that lawsuit is still pending so we cannot comment!

But tonight is big....(he builds on this) we have ......shootings, stabbings, drowning, bludgeoning, electrocution, decapitation, tampering with the brakes, pushing in front of a train and even a whole group poisoning! What a night!

And...Joey...our skateboarding dog!

                      (He watches on the 'screen' as the dog skates past with a cape that has a skull and crossbones on it)

Stay tuned.....we even have our weather report - with predictions where the next murders might be most likely to happen!

                      (Takes a deep breath)

And, as a special event....yes, for those who have been watching me for these last ten years, you know that my contract is up, this is my last evening as the newsman of the Death Report, and tomorrow you will have a newer, younger and better looking person....right here!

In exchange for this fantastic 10 years of fame and fortune....and all the women, drugs and debauchery I could take!..... as per the original contract, I will be doing something spectacular for my last night here!

Yes, folks, you've seen it before, but tonight, I join all my former newsman in the spectacular final show - I will be ...that's right, me! I will be committing suicide - ON THE AIR!

                     (He throws up his hands - relishing the applause.)

Now you have seen the others, and most have chosen the traditional suicides - gun, hanging, poison – BO-RING! I say those are the past! Old school! And, since it is my choice how to do this, I have chosen a new way - one that you haven't seen before on this channel! That's right, folks, get ready....because I am going to commit suicide ........by police!

How am I going to do that? Simple - I'm going out right now, into our beautiful city and start a shooting! That's right - everyone in the audience has the chance to be part of this!

I have accumulated guns, grenades - all types of blow-uppy things! And you could say - (Laughs) Sorry for the bad joke but.......I'm going out with a bang!

I am going to be traveling around shooting people - maybe even you!

                     (He points at the crowd)

In a theater, a mall, a store, (singing) on the street where you live!

                     (He indicates the side of the stage)

I'll have all my camera people with me -so if you see our KRP news truck - that's right, the one with the Grim Reaper on the side! - if you see us, come on by - you could be on the news....tonight! That's right, YOU could be famous!

                      (He turns to leave)

....and I have to get going now before the police come for me!

                      (Runs offstage, stops at the edge.)

And thank you all for making this the best rating of my life! Say it with me one last time.....What am I going to be when I finish..........Dead! Dead! Dead!

                       (He exits. We hear a blast of bullets and an explosion. The end)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #536 The Good Book of Teas (for Book of Teas) by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 2, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #536 by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 2, 2015

For more monologues from The Book of Teas, check out
Days # 15, 41-53, 69, 84, 96, 105, 118, 156, 173, 175-8, 181-5, 269, 331, 452, 506

The Good Book of Tea

(for The Book of Teas)
A monologue by Janet S. Tiger (c) all rights reserved

tigerteam1@gmail.com

(T comes out holding a thick book, yes, she still has a Southern accent)

Preacher Jackson was more than handsome, he was very wise.

That day, I fell in love not just with him, but with everything he loved, which was the Bible.

He introduced us to The Book of Job.

Now some might think this is heavy for children, but not the way he taught it.

When he gave us the candy, after we had run off some of our child energy, he then handed out a thin book, no bigger than the readers we used to learn how to read in first grade.

It was a paperback, and it had a picture of Jesus on the front.

But first he told us not to read it - he had a question.

Who wants to be rich?

Everyone raised their hand.

And who wants to have a big happy family?

Again, hands up.

Okay, now we can read.

And we discovered the sadness and glory that was Job.

After we got through all the horror, he made us put the book down, even though there were still two pages left.

Who wants to be Job? he asked.

Not a hand.

That's funny, you all wanted to be Job a few minutes ago.

No one wants to be Job, I blurted out.

Well, of course you all did.

The protests were vehement.

Who wants to have all that misery?

But Job started out with lots of money and a wonderful family - remember?

A light was starting to shine in my brain.

You all wanted to be rich, as I recall. And have a life - just like Job's started.

The concept of this dilemma spread through the class like a visible ripple. You could see everyone struggling with the concept.

He let us think.

It's good what you're doing now - you are - here's a fancy word for you - cogitating. That means thinkin hard.

And that is what the Bible is for.

When someone asks you what you want, it's a good idea to think about your answer for awhile.

Why do you think I brought you this book? You are young, why should you have to worry about such things? Because I think even children can learn to think about the Bible - which is just another way of saying think about their lives.

And here's somethin you need to know about Job - we are all Job.

There was almost an audible gasp from the class.

Even our regular teacher, Miz Gillespie, gasped. I could see that she, too, was spellbound by this handsome preacher.

In our lives, we have great riches - you all sit here and have a school and a church and clothing and food - in other parts of the world, you would be considered very rich.

And yet, even now, here, some of you are going through great pain - you have already learned what it means to lose - maybe someone you love, maybe a pet....At this, several of the children started to cry a little. For a moment, even at that age, I knew others in that class were in pain they did not share.

But everyone, at some time, faces troubles that are so big, and they are comin like the balls of hail in a thunderstorm, that you have no idea what to do.

And just when you think - how could anythin worse happen - it happens. Somethin else horrible.

Your car breaks down on your way to an interview for a job you really need to pay the bills so your family can eat. Or money so your children can go to a doctor.

And then, just when you are thinking you would like to talk to your oldest friend, she calls you, and you are so happy to hear her voice because they will truly understand what you are going through and they will run over and help…… and you find that friend is movin away, and that is when you wonder - when will this stop?

And that, my young friends, is what God is for.

And that's when he had us read the last pages, where Job's faith in God pays off - Job has his riches restored, he gets a new family, and through it all, his devotion is unwavering.

Mesmerized, we listened to this man, who had opened our eyes to something far greater than our own problems.

There will be good times, and bad times - everyone is Job sometime - but when you believe there is more than just you - when you have God to turn to - even if no one else is there - you are not alone.

I remember looking around the class. For a moment, the secrets were written on faces, almost as if there was a light shining on them, revealing the truth. Preacher Jackson was right, some of us were Job already.

What were these hidden pains? It wasn't until years later that I would learn what some of them were that day - the boy whose brother would beat him if he didn't do the brother's chores – a girl who's father drank, and used her as a wife because her mother died in childbirth. The story of Job lived for me, and after that, I read the Bible, like a book, and with my heart. It was not Gone With The Wind - but I grew to love it in a different way.

Gone With the Wind was only partly true - I knew that as a child.

I never felt that the Negroes, sorry, African Americans, of that time ever wanted to stay as slaves. Even at age 10, I knew that couldn't be true.

But the Bible, with all its crazy, was in a different way, true. Preacher Jackson had opened that door for me.

Here you go.....enjoy yourself...this is truly a good book...

(She hands the book to the other person, then turns to leave, stops, looks back, listens and smiles)

What a good question! What happened to the preacher? It appeared that Preacher Jackson not only taught the Bible, he lived it. It turned out he and Miz Gillespie had a torrid affair, even though the preacher was married with seven children.

But this was something I did not learn until years later, and it in no way affected my love of the Bible, as it was clear that a man that handsome was going to break some hearts.

(She smiles in her memory, then walks off slowly as the light dims on the scene)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #535 The Ripple Effect by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 1, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #535 The Ripple Effect by Janet S. Tiger Aug. 1, 2015

THE RIPPLE EFFECT

tigerteam1@gmail.com 858-274-9678

(A man comes out onstage, he's dressed all in one color - black or dark blue.)

Drop. (Illustrates with his hands)

Drop.

A pond.

Quiet.

The water never moves.

(Smiling) It's pretty.

Very pretty

The sun is warm.

Like a smile.

Nothing changing.

Until.......

Someone comes and

DIVES IN !

(Imitates diving in, he's angry)

And ...changes everything!

(He is truly upset now)

Now there are ripples...

EVERYWHERE!.......And...(hard to say)

And she likes him better.....

Because he's new to ....(with disgust)....the pond....

And he swims faster.......and I......don't swim.

And I...

I'm just here...like always, like a...(spits it out) like a frog ....sitting on the riverbank....

and she never even notices me anymore

she's too .....busy....with the ripples they make together

(Remembering fondly) Every morning I used to look forward to getting up

Going to work...

seeing her....

.smelling her perfume when she leaned over my desk

…..watching her eat lunch with her friends

….it was so good.....

Now....

I don't……

Maybe.... maybe this is the wrong place for me now.....

Maybe it was .......never the right place...

(Much darker) Or maybe.....it's the wrong place... (takes a knife out of his pocket)

for them.......

(He smiles and walks offstage)

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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Friday, July 31, 2015

Monologue Mania Day #534 Intro (for Crime) by Janet S. Tiger July 31, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #534 by Janet S. Tiger July 31, 2015

      This is the intro to Day # 190 and 193 - Value
Other Crime monologues are on Days 171-2, 219 - 223, 239, 320, 393, 409

                                  Intro
                                         (for Crime)
               (Not really) A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com

                  (The detective stands and looks at the crowd)

DETECTIVE - Murder, suicide, mayhem, death, accidents of every variety, rape, battery, assault, robbery, theft, vandalism.....I've seen them all. Truth. After looking at a lot of dead bodies, I guess you start to doubt. And you start to wonder does anyone tell the truth. The whole truth.....nothing but the truth.

I remember the first day we met. It was a neighborhood you don't usually go to for a questionable death.....middle class, trimmed lawns. But I'd been a detective long enough to learn death is a virus that can strike in any place, so when I arrived, I did what I usually did. I parked off to one side, and I took a look at the crowd. There's always a crowd. People come like vultures when there's a death....or maybe flies to rotting meat.....who died? Who did it? Our neighborhood is no longer safe......there is gossip and worry, and, very often, if there is a killer, the killer is in that crowd.

So I watch. Who is standing to one side? Who looks uncomfortable? Who is very excited by all the excitement - and is anyone crying? If someone is crying that tells me the dead person was loved by someone. That's important to know. Because often, we kill the ones we love.

And as I'm getting out of the car, along comes a lady.....

          (He indicates a woman in the audience, who comes up onstage)

She walks right up to me and says,

ERICA- Are you the detective on the case? Or is he inside already?

DETECTIVE - 'Why would you ask me that?'

ERICA - Because you're not from this neighborhood - I know everyone here. And you have on a suit, and.....I'm sorry, I thought you were the detective.......'

DETECTIVE -   I am. Detective Joe Halton.

ERICA - Mrs. Erica Walton

DETECTIVE - So, did you used to work with a police department?

ERICA - (Laughs) Not exactly. I was an archaeologist when I got married....so I've seen a lot of dead bodies......

DETECTIVE - Did you know the lady inside?

ERICA- Mrs. De Palma? Yes. She was a sweet lady, always gave the children good candy on Halloween. Nice presents at Christmas. A nice person. Her husband died , oh, I think it was three years ago.

DETECTIVE - Do you know the son?

ERICA - Ricky? (She is hesitant) He's ...got some problems......drugs.....it's been worse since his father died. Mr. De Palma could keep him in tow, since he died, well.....

DETECTIVE - (Thinks) Do you have a minute, I'd like you to come inside, take a look around.....

ERICA- Me? Why?

DETECTIVE - I dunno. Just a feeling. I've learned to go with my gut.

ERICA - I suppose.....the kids are my husband.....I didn't think it was a good idea for them to see this....

              (He leads her over and points at the ground)

DETECTIVE - You're right......if this bothers you....

ERICA - Not really, it's a little fresher than I usually get, much more flesh.....

            (She looks around, he hands her gloves)

DETECTIVE - The photos have been taken, you can touch with these.....

             (She kneels, pats the body)

ERICA - She was a nice lady....

DETECTIVE - Do you think....the son could've done this?

ERICA - Oh, no, not at all.

DETECTIVE - Really?

ERICA - Well, she was hit from behind, and, my instinct tells me that, if he hurt his mother, it would have been in a rage, fueled by the drugs. Face to face, he would hit or push.....and, it looks like the killer took money from her purse, am I right?

DETECTIVE - Looks like it.

ERICA - I think - if he'd killed her -Ricky would have been too upset to think about money. And if he took money, he'd have no need to kill her. He did love his mother. He may have hurt her in a fit of passion - which I doubt, too - but never from behind, and never to rob after. No, I would imagine this was one of his meth head friends, and the friend will not care if Ricky gets the blame.....

DETECTIVE - What if Ricky has confessed?

ERICA - Then it was tricked out of him, he was never too bright, and the drugs helped his IQ......no, if he confesses, he's just feeling guilty, and he knows who did it, when he sobers up, he'll remember....

           (He watches as she goes to sit, he faces the audience again)

DETECTIVE - Iit was good I'd talked to her, because Ricky had confessed, and if she hadn't explained, Ricky would've ended up in prison.....but because of her, we got the right guy. That time. But one time is all we have. Each case is its own horror story for the family and friends. You get it right, and.....it feels good.

So that's how an archaeologist got to be a police consultant.....and how I got a friend that has helped me figure out some very tough cases. So, with that very long introduction, may I present...Mrs. Erica Walton......

       (She comes onstage and they hug. He turns to exit the stage, stops, looks back)

Why did I ask a housewife with no CSI experience to come into a crime scene? Because the truth is - in all the years - before and since - she was the only who came up and knew I was the detective.

   (Spotlight switches to her, end of scene)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8

Monologue Mania Day #533 Finally by Janet S. Tiger July 30, 2015

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Monologue Mania Day #533 by Janet S. Tiger July 30, 2015

                                           Finally
   (for Crime)
                            A monologue by Janet S. Tiger   © all rights reserved    tigerteam1@gmail.com

          (The black woman who comes out is dressed for church - nice dress, big hat and a large purse. She takes the purse and sets it on the floor.)

Thank you, your honor, for giving me this chance to speak. I don't know if I can remember all the things I wanted to say, so I put them on a paper, but, then I can't find it, so I'm just gonna tell you what I can recall.

Because you see, there are some days you never forget. Like the day my baby boy was born. He was a big baby, a happy baby. Boy did he like to eat! Anything I put in front of him! By the time he was in first grade, he played with the big kids, and they respected him because he could hold his own.

By the time he hit seventh grade, he was like a man, tall, strong, but always sweet. He used to tell me, 'Momma, one day, I'm gonna buy you a house, with a big yard so you can grow your tomatoes.' And I believe he meant it......He wasn't perfect, of course, no child is, but he was a good boy....

         (She takes out a handkerchief and wipes her forehead.)

Some things you never forget.

          (She looks at one person in the crowd)

When a policeman comes to your door......you know it's not good. I will never forget what he said......he said, 'Mrs. Taylor, do you have a son, Tyrell?' and I knew, right then, I knew.

I said, yes, I do. And he looked at me and said, 'Do you have someone at home with you? Would you like to sit down?' And I told him no one was home, but it didn't matter, because I knew.

He was a young man, Spanish, and I could see he had not done a lot of these. And he told me my baby was dead. It felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the earth in that moment. How? He was eating a hot dog at the local De Weinershnitzel.......and a guy at the next table got mad at his girlfriend and shot at her. But she ducked. And the bullets hit Tyrell and two other people, people just sitting and having something to eat. The others survived, but not Tyrell.

He was never in a gang. He loved football, and he had a good chance at a scholarship and a good life. Done. Did they catch the man who killed him? No.

He ran away, and for twenty-seven years, I have waited. And I will never forget the officer who came to tell me they caught him. It was the same fellow as the first day, older a bit, a detective now, but he remembered me, and I remembered him. Finally is what he said to me. I just looked. And I sighed. Finally. I knew they would catch him. I had prayed every single day of those years, and now, I am here at his sentencing because I wanted to look him in the face. To look at the face of the man who killed my baby.

(Getting angry) I tell you all of this because I am here to ask that you have no.lenience with this man who killed my son. I want you to punish him, and make him regret his actions. No amount of years can bring back my baby.....nothing will bring him back!.....(She takes a deep breath)...but killing him won't do it either.

So put him away until he rots if you have to.....but don't kill a man and say it's to make it even. It will never be the same......and I do not want it on my conscience that I was a part of a murder.

           (She turns to leave, stops, looks back at the killer)

May God have mercy on your soul......

          (She stands tall as she exits. Gone, but never forgotten)
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Janet S. Tiger 858-736-6315
www.JanetSTiger.weebly.com
Member Dramatists Guild since 1983
Playwright-in-Residence
Swedenborg Hall 2006-8